|
Jaunt No. 30
Ossett Common Rovers 5 Pool AFC 1
West Yorkshire League Premier Division
Saturday, 10/05/08
Am I being too presumptuous to say that summer has arrived?
I only ask this as today seemed to be worthy of anything but football, and for me to come out with that line, well something
must be wrong. I guess I must have been influenced by recent events, yes we are in May, and yes as far as Sheffield FC is
concerned the season is over. This morning I woke up with the sun burning my eyes, having risen with the expected hangover
from the previous night's presentation night, and the prospect of babysitting Neil's very active five year old son George
for a morning. Amazingly I survived that, the expectation that Liam's dad would lurve to go out in the morning sun
and have a kick-about, and with lunch out of the way it was a case of mission accomplished. I had been regretting volunteering
for this little job, but to be honest it was a doddle, and it left me fresh to dive in Neil's car when he'd finished "work"
and head with the kids to a random non-league game. For a change it was a very easy one for us, and from my point of view,
one that had been on the near horizon for as long as the series has been going. That's right - if it's May, it must be a delve
into the minor leagues - and normally that means the West Yorkshire leagues, with today a little trip to see Ossett's THIRD
team. Ossett Common Rovers...
Actually I am a bit sick of heading up the M1 lately, so
today was a bit of a change for me to travel up that road for a bit of recreation, rather than the humdrum of work. I was
talking the other day of a trip I took to Whitkirk Wanderers a couple of weeks ago, in the same league as this one, between
two teams just in mid-table. There wasn't anything to talk about with this really; it was a midweek game kicking off at 6.30
at the beginning of April, so as you'd expect with about ten minutes to go light was at a premium. The female referee (who
also ran the line for one of our home games in April) had presided pretty well over a rather shoddy display from both sides,
and the game had pretty much settled at two-each as the light faded, so I thought I may as well leave the game about three
or four minutes from the end as I could literally see bugger all. When I got home and checked the league website to see it
had ended that way, I thought no more about it, and frankly it wasn't worth talking about - it was rubbish. Two weeks later
I found a blog site from the linesman of this game, who described events after I had left, which involved a twenty two man
brawl in injury time - involving both benches and supporters of the home team, with one player getting a lovely little kick
in the head while he was prone on the deck for his troubles. The reason I brought this up is that I was never going to set
my expectations high in today's game following that fare, after all this is end of season fodder, and when the home team
is the basement dwellers - well come on, what do you expect?
Yes, the home team are sitting at the bottom of that league,
and are already relegated. Ossett Common Rovers have been in the West Yorkshire League for the last ten years, with the last
five being spent in the top division, so you can say they are the new kids on the block in Ossett. Well, you can't, as they
are actually the oldest club in the town - with their centenary taking place in two years time - pre-dating Albion by 34 years,
and Town by 26 years. It is just that the other two teams have done the same as United and Wednesday did with us,
developed better and quicker at a vital stage in their respective histories, and updating their facilities and teams
to suit. Common have persevered over the years, but haven't progressed that far away from parks' football, and it seems they've
become the forgotten team in the town. Their current home is Illingworth Park, which is a public park with slides and swings
and roundabouts and the rest, with OCR's empire being a railed off pitch smack in the middle. They have not had the best of
times recently since they got to the top division, and have flirted with the foot of the table for some years, but this season
luck has deserted them and they are rooted to the foot of the table. A look at their fixture list in the programme gives a
clear indication as to how they achieved this, as they managed to go from New Years' to Easter without a win, with some hefty
reverses amongst their games. It isn't good, but since Easter they seem to have perked up a bit, and have started winning
a couple of games to give a bit of respectability to the table. They are still six points adrift of next place with today's
game to play...
That remaining game is today's against Pool, who are based
in Pool-in-Wharfdale near Otley, the top end of Leeds. They've had a mediocre season by any accounts, sitting in tenth spot
out of sixteen teams, and to be fair they don't have a great deal to play for. Watching the warm up didn't fill us full of hope either; a camp George Clooney silver-fox-alike trainer was
taking the visitors through their paces, and they looked like the could hardly walk let alone play - and the trainer's instructions
were hardly being listened to let alone followed. So when Pool went one up with a lightning (okay, it was a break but hardly
lightning) break up the field, and equally simple finish from the amusingly named Michael Jordan, it looked as if OCR were
at the foot of the table for good reason. The weather was taking its toll on everyone, myself included - as I found it more
inviting to have an impromptu wrestle with George and Liam, rather than watch the football - and the officials were having
a collective mare. It reached a pinnacle when the referee made one too many borderline (and not so borderline with one first
half penalty shout) calls, and the (deserved) barracking from the side lines got too much for the man-in-the-middle, so he
decided to send two people off... not players, not coaching staff, but spectators... and he wouldn't continue until they'd
left Illingworth Park's boundaries! Interesting that, I've never seen that happen, and I doubt many present had too and was
summed up lovely by one of the OCR bench who stated "we've got our biggest crowd of the season, and the f***ing ref starts
sending 'em off" - classic. The game had a quick turn round at half time, no messing with dressing room talks at this level,
and the restart brought a complete upheaval of the game in general...
When James Mountain volleyed home an equaliser
for Ossett it seemed that there might by a bit of salvation of a respectable last day scoreline, but they suddenly twigged
that this could be something more, and Pool were far from "wanting it" on the pitch as the day got even hotter. It
seemed they sussed that the big lumps in the Pool defence were slow, and they had someone who was fast, their number seven
- Jordan Corfield. Time after time from this point to the end, the ball was played over the top for Corfield to chase, with
the Pool defence trying everything legal and illegal to stop him. When the Pool number three upended Corfield in the box,
he was lucky to stay on, but Jonny Bundred stepped up and made it 2-1. You'd think they'd learned their lesson, but no - once
again, the ball over the top, Corfield took the ball past the keeper (and his hack at his legs), with the lump number three
succeeding in upending the little winger again, with the same result from the spot from Bundred. And when another ball went
over the top for Corfield, the keeper got there just first to get a foot to the ball, only it went as far as Bundred who chipped
it in from about forty yards out for his hat-trick. Minutes later it was five, same again with the long ball to Corfield who
weaved the ball to an empty net, amazingly that was his first goal of the season. It turned out to be one of the more entertaining
gems of the season, but at the end of the day the result meant nothing as OCR were a lost cause long ago, but it
does give hope that Ossett's third (and oldest) team will bounce straight back. If they perform like today, I wouldn't bet
against it...
Jaunt No. 29
Warstones Wanderers 2 Shenstone Pathfinder
1
West Midlands Regional League Division
One
Tuesday, 06/05/08
My wife Lynn asked me this afternoon
where it was I'd been yesterday, and when I told her I'd been to Barnoldswick (pronouncing it as it is written), she
came up with a choice phrase - "I'm sure you make all these names up!" You can only guess what she said when I told her where
I'm off tonight - "I'm away to Warstones Wanderers versus Shenstone Pathfinder" "Are you taking the mick here? They sound
like summat out of Roy of the Rovers, are you sure you aren't going to see another woman or summat?" Sadly no-one would take
me, but I can see where she's coming from with this one, as I never cease to amaze myself with how many grounds I end up going
to based on names alone. It reminds me of a game a certain groundhopper (Mr Woodings) went to earlier this season, and before
you say it wasn't me - nor is it made up - somewhere in Wales. The game was UNDY Athletic versus PANTEG,
both are towns in Gwent, and the only reason Woody went there was for the pun-laden afternoon based on the names. I know I've
been to some weird and wonderful places, and plenty have been because I liked the name, but tonight is for a completely other
reason - the names have nothing to do with it. The reason for this one is the vulture kind of visit, getting to a ground before
it falls into the hands of the enemy of the football ground, the property developers...
I never really touch the West Midlands
Regional League, mainly down to the fact I think it is just a bit too far to go, but based on some of the trips we've made
this season - it's positively local. The ones that are around Walsall are anyway, and it works out that on a good run - or
a quiet evening - you can get from Gleadless to that area in about eighty minutes, less than it takes to get to Kidsgrove
or Alsager! It might even make me start looking at this league at bit more avidly, but having said that there are a lot of
teams popping on the horizon next season that I wouldn't mind having a nosey at, so they'll get the priority. But Warstones
is one I had my eye on since just after Christmas when they moved into their ground, settling in like cuckoos into the former
home of Wyrley Rangers who just packed in, and when it was announced the ground was being developed - well it just strengthened
my resolve to get there. I suppose it is the wrong attitude to take with this vulturing, but the number of times
I kinda regret not going to a place when it goes belly up defies belief, and on top of this I can forgive myself this as Warstones
are a thriving that'll be playing elsewhere next season. Where that is I don't know, but Long Lane has a market value of just
about a million quid, and is privately owned - I suppose it makes a lot of sense to cash in while you can...
It seems that lately clubs in the West
Midlands go to the wall more often than anywhere else in the country, and some big names in the area have led the way (so
to speak), with Blakenhall, Bloxwich and Paget Rangers all coming to mind inside five seconds - and all of them have left
vacant stadia a short distance from Warstones, and at a standard that was good enough for the same level as Sheffield are
playing at now. Whether they'll take that option, or whether they'll set up on their own, I can't say. What I can say is that
the club has been built up from grassroots, with an enthusiastic committee and management team, and even though they were
only formed in 2001 - they look to have a more solid future than many in the region. This season they've been sort of a nomadic
team, really living up to the "Wanderers" mantle, and they've done well to get themselves to an above mid-table position.
It looked as if they'd finally got a stable home, but as always with plans like this, it turned out to be simply temporary.
So next season they'll have it all to do again, finding a place to stay, and try and settle into the a place they can actually
call home - and once you find a place to call your own, well... you know the rest don't you. Just look at our own little Club
when it comes to ending a nomadic existence...
Getting to Long Lane is a real doddle,
so for this one to disappear is a bit of a shame, but it does give a bit of an insight as to how long it'll take when Chasetown
come into our league (oops, did I say that out loud? Sorry). The ground is pretty much what I'd expected, and certainly as
good as what would be needed for a club of Warstones' stature, with a nice little clubhouse to boot. The rest of the ground
is somewhat basic, with a little 100-seater stand in one corner, the rest hasn't even got hardstanding. It is set in some
pretty nice countryside as a bonus, and for a change it was starting in daylight, which meant I actually got to see the area
rather than guess at what it might look like. To be honest it is about Central Midlands Supreme standard, the equivalent of
the level above this, and with a little more love and attention this little ground could be expanded to a much higher standard
with very little work. But that is hardly going to happen though now, is it? What is a shame is that football will be deprived
of a very nice little bar, having said that, it is more likely to get more trade (if it remains standing) if a little housing
estate is built on the land. A sad way to look at things, I guess...
As I touched on earlier, it was the
opponents' name in this fixture that lured me to this one - that and the fact this was SUPPOSED to be the last game here.
The weather though put paid to that one, and the game that was supposed to have been played last Wednesday has been re-arranged
to this coming Saturday (I think), so this is the penultimate fixture at this ground. Either way Shenstone Pathfinder is one
of the more exotic names in football, and unlike many in this league, they are based in a nice little affluent area north of
Sutton Coldfield - and the ethnic make-up of the side comes across as being not very diverse. In fact they are the first fully-white
team I've seen play in ages in the Midlands, which doesn't serve any purpose as a social statement, more of a quirky observation
than anything else. And to be fair they aren't that hot on the pitch, and for the few seasons I've paid attention to this
league, Shenstone have been one of the lesser lights - struggling every time they've played in Division One - and only last
season getting runners-up in Division Two. This season they've struggled, and they've taken some big kickings, with an 11-0
defeat at Blackheath in September the standout (if you can call it that) result so far. So I was expecting this up-and-coming
nomadic outfit to take their visitors to task, give them a good old hammering, and knock my goal average up a few points.
But I've said so many times before...
Shenstone looked nowhere near as bad
as I expected, but to be honest their keeper Peter Kidd had one of those games, you know the mixed kind. He wasn't one of
the tallest you'd expect to come across, about 5'6" at a guess, but he knew how to make a save. About ten minutes in there
wasn't a great deal he could do; after making a double save with his defence in disarray, there was no way he was able to
make a third - and Warstones took the lead. It seemed he'd done a good damage limitation exercise, but seconds before the
break he made a total hash of a routine ball into the box, leaving the Wanderers' centre forward a great deal of ease in tapping
in from five feet out. I reckoned that Warstones would go on and run about five or six in, but the home side's finishing was...
well, it wasn't good. On the hour mark - and on their first attack - Pathfinder found a way onto the scoresheet (see what
I did then), when a cross was met by the giant substitute Ryan Marrable who planted the ball into the net. That was all the
scoring really, but the game went along with many more chances, and if half of them had been converted there would have been
another six or seven goals - even the linesman had to comment that we could be here all night and not see another goal. And
so that was the way it ended, and it has to be said the small crowd had their money's worth, perhaps on another day it could
have been a goal deluge. Instead it brought down the curtain (not the final one) on floodlit football at this ground, and
the hunt for a new home for Warstones goes on - and where that new home will be will be an interesting one. I for one will
be keeping an eye on this one...
Jaunt No. 28
Barnoldswick Town 4 Coppull United 0
West Lancashire Premier League
Monday, 05/05/08
If you don't already know, my work has
taken me from the comfortable homily climes of Woodseats, to the bustling city centre life of Leeds (all together now - booo!!!).
With this as you'll have noticed the Jaunts Mullarkey has taken a bit of a back seat, obviously Sheffield Club's congested
fixture list has helped see to that as well, and whilst it is all very well driving from my hotel in Leeds all the way to
Colwyn Bay to watch the boys in maroon - doing a similar trip for a neutral game is strictly never going to happen. So with
a heavy heart I had to make the harsh decision to wrap up this column too - it's been fun, but free time is at a premium -
so after this season this will be confined to the archives. Don't get me wrong I'll still be going to some wild and exotic
places (like Church Warsop), but the time to write about them is very limited, and what with work and family life... well
you get it, don't you? The last Jaunts column appeared in the Sheffield FC programme last Thursday, which funnily enough was
the last one I'd written, making for a nice little end to that series - whilst giving me the opportunity to say "the one before
this was the last one to appear..." And as always that game gives me the tie-in to today's little venture, and the subject
in this is county boundaries, and where do you belong? You see the people from the side of that mountain are VERY confused
people... OH YES... as our Mr McCarthy is no doubt willing to let you know, as even they seem confused with where SFC fit
in with local identity. Oh they seem quite happy to tell us we are from Derbyshire, and that they are the best non-league
team in Sheffield (righty-ho), but then forget all that by calling us "Dee-Dahs" - which as anyone from Chesterfield knows...
well why do I bother? And that ties in with the visit for me today; one that has been on the radar for... ooh, since the Jaunts
began... and that is Barnoldswick Town.
Like Club, Barlick (the colloquial term
for Barnoldswick) have had a crisis of county identity for generations, and one of the worst kind. It sits (at the moment)
about half a mile inside the district of Pendle - or Lancashire for those who don't know where that is - a spit away from
the district of Craven - or North Yorkshire to be exact. I remember the County Council reorganisations being talked about
at school in the 70s, and the subject of a few towns being dragged forcibly from the great county of Yorkshire over to the
devil's county of Lancashire, and Barlick was the focus on Calendar - with Austin Mitchell shaking his head in disbelief.
The subject might have past as mere side chat in a city centre secondary school, but out in the foothills of the Pennines
it was a different story, but that all seems to have been forgotten. The town's football team - the one I'm off to tonight
- are still members of the West Riding Football Association, the crests of the town (and club) show both a RED rose and a
WHITE rose, and this is evident wherever you look in this charming little town. But believe me, this town is well and truly
Lancashire, that I can tell you. When Barlick played in the West Riding County Cup last Friday, they took two coach loads
of fans, who took delight in chanting "Lancashire (la, la, la)" throughout. It seems that a generation (or more) has passed
since this town was in Yorkshire, all that history has been forgotten, and judging by the shirts and banners hung in the clubhouse
- Blackburn, Burnley, Accy Stan, Manchester City et al - that half mile might as well be a million...
The choice of league also gives Barlick
an insight to its identity, the West Lancashire League - even though technically it is in the east of the county - and it
also gives me the opportunity to debut a League never featured in this column. It sits more or less at the same level as the
Central Midlands League, with the league feeding into the North West Counties League, but that is where the similarity ends.
Unlike the CMFL, the West Lancs doesn't have as many strict rules regarding grounds and floodlights, with tonight's visitors
Coppull United being one of the few in this league to actually have lights. Barlick's ground is one of the most charming I've
been to, and most definitely the most scenic I've been to this season, but they too are without the mandatory floodlights
that are needed to progress any further. They are of course trying to rectify that one, and are in the process of raising
money through a "floodlight fund", so I can see them moving onwards and upwards in the not-too-distant. The ground (as I said)
is absolutely charming, and is set at the back of the local park - imagine a ground being tucked away at the back corner of
Millhouses Park, Sheffielders - which makes it a bit of a sod to find with a sat-nav. Whilst it may not be the best equipped
ground I've been to, the use of real stone for boundary walls and the covered stand - plus the quality of the more than ample
little clubhouse - it is most certainly one of the most quaint. There isn't much to it to be fair, with a covered (stone-built
as I said) terrace down one side, a covered overhang with about fifty seats by the changing rooms behind the goal, and raised
standing around the sides - not much, but it is enough for this (and higher) levels. And as always with these clubs, the locals
were probably the friendliest I've encountered as a neutral spectator, making you feel as welcome as owt - and more than willing
to drop a fiver in the floodlight fund!
The team were founded as recently as
2003, and seeing as this column was started in 2002, how could they be one of my "targets" for so long? Well that is because
they were part of an amalgamation of two sides - Barnoldswick United and Barnoldswick Park Rovers - and United were the ones
I had my eye on initially. The old ground of Park Rovers is still standing (just), situated in the same park as Town's Slumberland
Stadium (yeah, I know - they are a major employer in this sleepy little town) ground stands now, but as you can guess
it is in a poor state in comparison. Despite the merger Barlick have never really set the West Lancs on fire, and they've
been considered one of the weaker sides in the league, finished next to bottom on more than one occasion. This season also
they've struggled to do anything of note in the league, yes they did well in the county cup, but to be hovering just below
mid-table - well it isn't really good enough. Yet when you look at the potential this club has, both in facilities and catchment
area, it comes as a big surprise. This season they are down the bottom end again, although when you look at their results
you'd have to ask why, sitting twelfth out of sixteen teams. The fact is they haven't picked up a single point against the
top three teams - everyone else, they've done something - and top that off with a four point deduction for playing an illegible
player, if not for this it could be argued they would be pressing near the top instead. But that's all ifs and buts, and today
they wind up their fixture list against Coppull United, a team sitting three places above them in the league. Coppull for
those (like me) who have never heard of the place, is near Chorley, about an hour down the road. Which puts into perspective
the geography of this league - it seems Barnoldswick is out on a limb when you look at the clubs involved - in reality, it
fits in just nicely...
May Day Bank Holiday Monday is
one of those dates which never seem to generate much in the way of football, cricket seems to have taken its talons into this
month, and judging by the weather on the way up it seems right too. The eighty minute run up through Bradford and Keighley
was as leisurely as any this season, the windows down, listening to Newcastle and Chelsea on the radio and staring in dismay
at the five mile queue of traffic coming out of the Lake District. As I said earlier the welcome I got was great, even if
I had to wait for the beer to be switched on (not desperate or owt - it was bloody warm), although the more I thought about
it - the less ideal the whole day seemed suited for football. It's at this stage I'd like to state the game kicked
off at a leisurely pace, but I can't, and both teams went into this like a train. Within the first three minutes Barlick were
one up, as the captain Stewart Airdrie put the ball through to Martin Whittaker who finished easily, and then five minutes
later the keeper lost the ball under his feet from a back-pass allowing Neil Chapman to waltz the ball home. It could and
should have been more, as Chapman's volley rattled the bar, and the home skipper headed tamely at the keeper with the goal
gaping. But don't get me wrong here, Coppull were a useful looking side, and looked as good as the hosts - and in some areas
better. But it's goals that count and on the hour Robbie Smith made it three after some good work, and if it wasn't for the
cross bar (again) and the keeper denying Barlick, it could have been six or seven before the fourth goal eventually went in.
That one came just before the end, and it was a case of "after you Claude" with the Barlick attackers queuing up to finish,
in the end it was Robbie Smith again who put it in the back of the net. And with that Barlick's season came to an end, winning
not just the game, but a lot of friends along the way. No doubt (as I've said so many times before in this column) this team
WILL go on to bigger and better things, the lights will be the first stage, the next who knows? All that is left to be said
is this - whichever one it is, Barnoldswick certainly does their county proud!
Jaunt No. 27
Stratford Town 1 Friar Lane & Epworth 1
Midland Football
Alliance
Wednesday, 14/03/08
It may come as a bit of a surprise to the readers
of this column, but I have always had a bit of a soft spot for Shakespeare - no, really I have. Okay it may be some years
since I've stuck my head in one of his tomes, or for that matter head to a play, but as I say the Bard does leave some fond
memories in my past. I know it sounds corny now, but as a fifteen year old who was seen as a bit of an English Lit nerd I
made a little mark for a day at school, when I was ordered out of a class room for "unnecessary disruption". You see we used
to have this Technical Drawing teacher called Mr Jarvis, and he had an unnatural fixation with pencil, in particular the grade
of pencil you used. I bet you can see where this is going already, can't you? Anyway, one day old Jarvo is doing his usual
stroll around the class and he grabs my writing implement, looks at it and says "Mr James - what is this?" "Pencil, sir!"
"I can see that, but what grade is it?" "2H, sir!" "No... It... Is... NOT! It is a soft pencil; it is used for art, not for
fine lines and definition. Explain yourself young man!" "Sorry sir, I thought it was a 2H, my mistake!" Now my teacher at
this point - as others have testified since - was reaching boiling point, so the last thing he wanted was a petulant pupil
giving him some lip. "IT IS A 2B PENCIL JAMES, YOU KNOW IT, I KNOW IT AND THE CLASS KNOWS IT!!!" I don't like being yelled
at, never have done never will do, but it took a lot of balls to give him the response I did. Seconds after I'd finished saying
the word "question" (to gasps which were a mixture of shock and admiration), Mr Jarvis gave a quote that will live with me
forever - "This is a theatre of isometric projection, side elevations and geometric perspectives - not William Shakespeare
- GET OUT!"
I must have told that story a million times, I still
chuckle to myself now, but it didn't go down too well with my nerves at the time - I dreaded going to tech drawing after that.
That story aside though, going into my adult life I found myself being classed as a bit "odd" for chosing to go watch the
RSC when it came to Sheffield, rather than going out on the lash with the boys. My missus Lynn found it a bit odd too, but
she pandered to that one by joining me, even if she found things a bit "heavy" for her tastes. But she persevered, and topped
it one year by getting premium tickets at the Royal Shakespeare in Stratford, to see the Tempest. I have to say it was one
of my favourites, and one I can relate to, as I was once the rightful Duke of Milan stranded on an island for twelve years
with my daughter... or maybe I wasn't. Anyway, we got best seats in the house, and sat next to Alf Garnett - honestly, Warren
Mitchell - and chatted about the performance over Courvoisiers in the interval. Ah, happy days... but sadly that was the last
time I've been to the wonderful town of Stratford-upon-Avon, except that is to take Liam to the Teletubbies Land thing that
was based there, when he was a toddler before you ask. And equally sadly I've never thought it fitting to visit since, certainly
not for football anyway, the name was always there in the leagues when I browsed down for possibilities - but I never saw
fit to visit. But this season - more precisely this last month or so - the town's team has moved into a new palatial little
ground, and everyone in the non-league fraternity is raving about it. So with a blank Wednesday yet again, it was ripe to
get in the car and head to Warwickshire - "Shakespeare's County"...
Before I go on, I must apologise to the people of Stratford
for having the immediate link with the Bard, they must be sick of it. I bet there isn't one single article about this ground
that doesn't have a pun, or a play on words, involving the title of one of the man's works. Imagine reading a report on Sheffield
and coming across "they managed to 'steel' it, or "Sheffield showed they could go the Full Monty", it makes you say stuff
like "yeah, yeah, very good and imaginative". So I'll try not to give this any further mention, and concentrate on what I'm
led to believe is a very progressive little club, who could be up with us in a few years. The fact I'd never been in the past
is almost inexcusable, but I emphasise ALMOST, as it is well outside the agreed Jaunts radar. In fact it is almost twice the
normal acceptable run for me, but it seems as Sheffield's foray into the world of the UniBond makes away games so much further
away, the more adventurous I seem to be getting with the games in-between. And with this I seem to coming more in contact
with people from the south of Luton, which doesn't make me the most comfortable of bunnies, especially when this contact is
with those from the groundhopping fraternity. Even so, as I said I'd heard nice things about Stratford's new Knights Lane
ground, with a blank Wednesday I was willing to take a chance and head down there. Coincidentally my colleague at Belper had
similar ideas on the night, so a meet with him would make me a little easier, little did I think that it would cross the minds
of several others - but more on that later...
For years Stratford has played at Masons Road, although
it has to be said in a couple of guises, following their reformation in 1998. Before that they were Stratford Rangers - then
Town - but as they fell into financial difficulties, they rose from the flames as a new incarnation. They were founder members
of the Midland Alliance, and they've remained there ever since, with their best performance coming the year after their worst
- 1998/99 was a very significant time for Stratford it seems. The last couple of season has seen them in a state of transition,
they've been ground sharing with Solihull Moors, which is quite some distance for the home support to travel. So with the
building of the new ground - well, you could say they are home, and let the good time roll! Even then it isn't in the centre
of Stratford, it is a few miles out of town in a little village called Tiddington, but it seems the new set up has captured
the imagination of the local populace. It isn't just a football ground; it is a community based project, with a multi-pitch
complex and social facilities for budding players of all ages. When I arrived the whole place was buzzing, with just about
everyone of the Astroturf pitches in use and the car park (which isn't small by any means) absolutely jammed full, and that
wasn't anything to do with the evening's spectators. When I got in the bar however, well as I said, more on that later...
They've been getting around the hundred mark through
the gates over the last few seasons, with the usual exceptions when the "big" clubs like Leamington or Atherstone are in town,
so how many they were going to get through the gate at Knights Lane was always going to be the benchmark of how good things
were going to be. The first game at the new ground drew a pretty impressive 411, and given the away team was Barwell (who
it has to be said aren't the biggest crowd pullers in the league), it was a pretty promising figure. The challenge was going
to be how many they drew afterwards, and could they keep the locals interested, and given the numbers in the car-park - well
it looked as though the battle for spectators was being won. The attraction of this fixture was that again the away team wouldn't
be adding that many in the way of travelling support, and seeing as the novelty of the first game had worn off, the glory-hunters
and interested parties from the groundhopping fraternity would have already been and done it. A walk into the bar gave me
the indication I was wrong, it was snided with a right bunch of... well fill in your blank... and it seemed none of them were
interested in buying a round. Don't get me wrong, everyone is entitled to their own method of whittling the time away to kick
off, but the fact that at least fifty of these individuals had piled into the bar without buying as much as a bag of crisps
just seemed wrong. I could carry on the rant - but I won't - there's more to tell about more important things here...
The thing that I noticed first about the ground when
we got in was how similar it seemed to Garforth Town, yes really Garforth Town, but then again it was nothing like it. Sounds
strange this doesn't it? But indulge me a moment, as for those of you that have been to Garforth will start to appreciate
this, that the strange things that make Mr Clifford's ground unique are pretty much in the same here. It's the roof of the
stand that hits you first, the way the roof is elevated unnecessarily too high above the seats is the thing I'm on about,
and Stratford has the same feature. Okay so you don't have the great panoramic view of the pitch as you do at Wheatley Park,
as the stand is more or less at pitch level, but it is still a nice little facility. The whole ground has that "wet-paint"
feel to it, and other than the bar and stand, the ground is more or less a blank canvas (again like Garforth) waiting to be
filled. One thing it does have as an advantage over Garforth is the catering, I never actually ever cast judgment over clubs'
catering - but face it Garforth's kitchen efforts are rubbish - but Stratford do a cracking line in their canteen, with the
curry a must for all those who want their cockles warming up on a night like tonight.
And what a night it was, the wind was howling a gale,
and to say it was a bit "inclement" was a bloody understatement. By rights though that should have had very little bearing
on the outcome of this contest, the visitors Friar Lane and Epworth should have been a walkover, especially given the fact
they were on the receiving end of a 5-1 home trouncing earlier in the season. One thing I could sympathise though with was
that Stratford hadn't played a game for two and a half weeks, so you'd expect a bit of rustiness, but when Jerome Grandison
slotted past the visiting keeper after four minutes it boded well for a bright night's football. Again - as has happened so
many times in the past - all first impressions and omens went all pear-shaped. Stratford could not break down their Leicestershire
opponents, and if anything it looked like Friar Lane would turn things around, and possibly give me a shock result to write
about. Early in the second half they got their just desserts; a free-kick was headed back across the goal, and was smashed
home by Dan Hodgkinson. That was it as far as scoring was concerned, with Stratford really flattering to deceive, and their
support getting really frustrated with their thwarted efforts.
One subject I never touched on was where Stratford actually
sit in the table, sadly I have to finish on the note that they aren't doing that great, they are mid-table just above half
way. They won't get promoted this season, that's too much to ask, but I do have a sneaking feeling about this club. They seem
to have the potential for a helluva lot of commercial backing from the townsfolk, there isn't much in the way of sport going
on in the vicinity, and the time is ripe with the new stadium to get in there and fill their boots. So you know what comes
next in this final paragraph, don't you? I reckon that Stratford Town will make mincemeat of the Midland Football Alliance
in the next year or two, I'm not so sure which yet though, and they'll do what good ol' Sheffield FC have done and get their
foot on the next rung of the ladder. Take that prediction As You Like It, this is one Winter's Tale that should not end as
a Comedy of Errors, and believe me when I say in this case Measure for Measure - Alls Well That Ends Well... I'll get me coat
Mr Jarvis...
Jaunt No. 26
Stanton Ilkeston 3 Welbeck Welfare 3
Central Midlands
Premier Division
Wednesday, 05/03/08
A short while ago I wrote about my "fondness" for good
old South Normanton Athletic, how they were always my sure fire banker in time of inclement weather, and how they let me down
with a shock postponement this winter. Well I always had it in my diary to get back there this season, even though it had
been visited on more than one occasion by myself, and by probably a fair old number of people who read these very pages. So
it's nothing new really, but as I said I was always going to be going back there this season, and as it may (or may not) surprise
you it wasn't to see the Shiners. No, this story starts back in the annals of history as far as I'm concerned, when talking
about non-league football especially. The date in question when this little tale begins is the 4th of May 2002, and chasing
for the title of the lower division of the Central Midlands League were three teams, all of whom will look back on this day
with a bit of a mixed nostalgia. The third place team had no real chance of winning the league, they'd ballsed that up a week
earlier by losing twice in three days to mid-table teams, but they were at home to the one team who could catch and overtake
the team at the top. The team at the top had what on paper looked like an easy-ish game against the team in eighth place,
and seeing as they were sitting in a kind of positional limbo in the table (couldn't catch seventh, couldn't be caught by
eighth), it looked like a bit of a shoo-in for the champions-elect. What I failed to mention was May the 4th was also the
day of the FA Cup Final, and despite both away teams in this scenario wanted to move the game earlier, both home teams wouldn't
relent. The outcome thus turned out to be an anti-climax, third place beat second place 9-0 with the away team fielding a
much weakened side, and the champions won their game 6-0 against an equally weakened opposition...
The third place team beat Hallam 8-0 last night, good
old Dinnington; I still have a soft spot for them. The team Dinno beat was Barton Town, a team who've not done too bad for
themselves since then, sitting in the NCEL Division One mid-table. The champions were a team I visited for the first time
that day, little realising that they would become our fiercest rivals in the brave new world of the UniBond, yes - it WAS
Retford Town... I mean United, sorry. So three of the four teams who were the focus of the CMFL world have done really well
for themselves, but what of the fourth team, who were they and what became of them? Well the team was Stanton Ilkeston, and
little was I to know at that time, but that was to become their LAST fixture as a CMFL team. That season saw them plummet
from a pretty prominent position in the table, they were top at one point, but they managed to lose something like their last
six or seven on the bounce - including some pretty embarrassing scorelines. It appeared that Stanton were being oiked out
of their home at the Stute in Hallam Fields, onto a lesser playing field which didn't meet the League's minimum requirements,
and with financial costs spiralling their players were quick to move on to newer plains. After that the "Ironmen" moved into
the lesser leagues of the Notts Amateur Alliance, plodding along with no real direction, and only troubling the top of the
table nothing more. In truth it was a sad sight to see a team that had won back-to-back titles falling on such hardship, so
when their name made a reappearance in the 2007/08 CMFL constitution, well lets just say I was pleased. For one I'd never
been to Hallam Fields, but sadly I wasn't going to get there - this season at least - as for some reason they would be sharing
home with South Normanton...
Which I have to say is strange, given that the distance
between their former home and here is seventeen miles; it isn't what you'd call a local ground sharing arrangement. But share
they do, and even though I've heard word spoken that this incarnation of Stanton is just a glorified version of Normo's reserves,
it is still a team I'd planned to see again this season. As before they've taken their place in the Premier Division of the
CMFL, and looking at the season so far, it hasn't been such a successful return to the league. The thing that has caused most
ructions has been the number of postponements the team has had, especially given that miraculously on more than one occasion
South Normanton have managed to get a game on the same pitch a mere 72 hours after the cancelled game, a coincidence maybe
- but still one that had conspiracy theorists muttering darkly. Stanton have had a bit of a mixed bag to be fair, so the cancellations
have added a bit of a millstone for them in an already difficult season, something I'm sure we at Sheffield can sympathise
with. But despite having a pretty barren patch of results, leaving them rooted in the re-election zone, they've also managed
to pull out the hat some amazing wins over teams from the promotion places. So it's obvious the team has got some potential,
the problem is will this be too little to save them from losing their place, I sincerely hope they get to grips and get a
few more wins under their belts to pull them safely away from the bottom. The one positive thing for them is that from their
remaining twelve fixtures, NINE are at home, and all bar three of those games are against teams from the bottom half of the
table...
But what does home advantage mean to them? I've always
wondered whether that supposition holds much water for a team that shares with someone else, I mean it's home - but then again
it isn't. But what about "home"? Well I have to admit it must be a few seasons since I was at Lees Lane, and back then the
Shiners were playing in the CMFL as well, but have managed a couple of promotions to be playing THIS season in the league
we were in this time last year. So to get to that level I would have expected some massive improvements, especially seeing
as the last time I was down here the ground had a couple of "sheds", and seating consisted of half a dozen comfy sofas behind
the goal. That has all changed now, what with the addition of a vast expanse of concrete hard-standing, so vast it could double
as a cycle track around the oval perimeter. Behind the goal has seen the addition of not one, but two banks of seats, very
impressive I must admit - but tonight I very much doubt they would be used too much. Tonight I would be amazed if the attendance
exceeded fifty, which also begs the question "why would you need to groundshare at such a large ground"; it is nice - but
very wasted on a level like this. That by the way is not meant to be an insult to this level, it just doesn't draw the numbers
through the gates, never mind how good or exciting the football is. And exciting I expect it to be, 'cos Welbeck are in town,
and when Welbeck come to town - goals will surely follow. Yes - as I've said before - Welbeck score goals for fun, and concede
just as many. Their average scoring rate so far this season works out at three goals per game, conversely their conceding
rate is three per game, so I'll expect tonight to be goal-less then...
I was joined for this one by a legend in the "Football
Adventurer" world, Mr David Woodings, who has seen football in more countries than I could care to mention. After this game
he was heading off for a weekend trip to Turkey of all places, to visit Galatasaray, Genclerbirligi and some others - just
another weekend of football as far as he was concerned. Anyway, we were treated to an end-to-end game, full of incident and
controversy. It didn't take too long for the scoring to get going, about ten minutes in a Lee Edmondson had put the visitors
one up, and after some typically free-flowing Welbeck football that had Stanton stretched at the back. But then that abandon
left them frail at the back, and as expected Stanton got level, with a well taken penalty from captain Russ Foster. Naturally
Welbeck went up the other end and retook the lead, again making it look really easy, this time it was Carl Haslem who put
the ball home. Just before half time it started to bubble under, and some robust tackles from both sides gave the impression
it was about to explode, and it did - big style. Stanton forward Luke Slaney took one too many kicks to the back of the legs
by a Welbeck defender, he turned and swiped a couple of slaps in return, and... well you can guess the rest. A mass brawl
involving all players from both sides, both benches, and a couple of selected spectators who decided they were going to leap
the fences. Luckily sense prevailed, the dust settled, and the two protagonists were shown red - but they still managed to
nag at each other all the way to the changing rooms. After the restart Stanton got level - again - this time Sam Potter showed
composure to score. But as expected Welbeck would get back into the lead, they did through Murphy, and with time running out
it looked as if they'd done enough. But in the dying seconds of the game Welbeck relaxed, and rising to head home from a last
ditch corner was Foster again, amazingly Stanton had rescued a point.
So it proves Stanton has it on the pitch to do the business,
they showed resilience and spirit to get the vital point, and as I said the season will pan out as a scrap to avoid the bottom
four. But will they be around next season? That I can't say to be sure, if they aren't a feeder (or reserve) team to South
Normo, then I wonder how they are going to make ends meet to compete in such an arena. The headcount for tonight was about
twenty - and several of those had blagged it in for nothing - but having said that there were no players wages to pay I guess,
so I don't think that should have a massive impact on the financial side. Either way, it would be nice to see them return
to their spiritual home at Hallam Fields, but when that is - if ever - remains to be seen.
Jaunt No. 25
Stone Old Alleynians 2 Punjab United Sports 2
West Midlands
Regional League Division Two &
Barlaston 0 Eccleshall AFC 1
Staffordshire Senior Premier League
Saturday, 23/02/08
At
the beginning of the season I was in a beer-fuelled conversation with my mate Neil from Belper Town, and as usual we tend
to we wander off into the realms of where we are going to head off to when our respective teams aren't playing, we ended up
concocting some interesting (and sometimes silly) little ventures to places we both fancied going to. The best of these always
turns out to be the "double-header", you know the one where you manage to see more than one game in a day, and after all it
is what groundhoppers aspire to - even if we don't class ourselves in this little pigeon hole. The trouble with the double
header is usually down to logistics, and more than anything coincidence, as you have to find two teams that play close enough
to each other to get from one full time to the start of the next game. Organised Groundhops are renowned for making these
coincidences come true, as clubs tend to comply with requests to change kick off times to suit the logistics, and they draw
in huge (by normal standards) attendance figures with people flocking from all over the country. So it makes for a clever
little game of trying to mastermind one of these days out, and even better if no one has mentioned this on any of the usual
forums, because once that happens - well, they are there in their droves! Anyway, as you can guess recently flavour of the
month is Staffordshire, and the conversation came around to Springbank Park - home of Stone Dominoes. Now whether you know
this or not I don't know, but Stone no longer play at that ground where they beat us in that FA Vase tie, they have moved
lock, stock and barrel to Yarnfield - a village the other side of Stone - and it is home to not one, not two, not even three
teams. It is home to FIVE football teams, four of them are senior teams, the other is Port Vale's Youth side - surely that
is a double header waiting to happen...
The way Springfield Park is laid out means that it would only be possible to
see Stone Dominoes if they kicked off after the full time whistle of one of the other team's games, they play their games
at a fully enclosed and screened "stadium", so initially that ruled them out. So it meant that we would have to find a day
where two of the three other tenants were at home, and hope that there would be a staggered kick off at each, meaning that
two of either Stallington, Barlaston (both of the Staffordshire League) or Stone Old Alleynians (of the West Midlands Regional
League) would have to be at home - plus the added condition neither myself or Neil would be working on that day. As it turned
out it took until February for this chance to turn up, and when it did it was with Barlaston and Old Alleynians who would
do the honours, with the added bonus that Barlaston would be kicking off at 2.00 pm and Old Alleynians at 2.30 pm. The premise
was this - we could easily watch the first thirty minutes of one, watch the first thirty minutes of the next, the last thirty
minutes of the first (again) and the last thirty minutes of the other - in plain and simple terms we would watch the start
and end of both games, whilst taking in sixty minutes (or so) of each game. Sounds simple doesn't it? Well here's the thing,
two days before we were due to set off on this mini adventure, I found out that Barlaston had decided on a 2.30 pm kick off
as well - no reasoning why, they just did. There was no reason in reality for either of them to kick off any earlier than
3.00 pm anyway, as it has been light well past 5.00 pm for the last few weeks now, but nevertheless they did. So this threw
up some more interesting problems as to how this was going to work, but we'll come to that later...
Normally when I
get to this point in a "Jaunts" I start to talk about the ground and the teams, but there are FOUR teams to talk about today,
so I guess I'll have to be brief. Right then, the ground: Springfield Park is on the outskirts of the lovely canal town of
Stone, situated between Stoke-on-Trent and Stafford. It is (as I said before) in the village of Yarnfield, and a pretty impressive
little complex it is, set up and maintained by the Springbank Vending owner Mr Bob Bowers. The complex is home to the stadium
(home to Stone Dominoes of the NWCFL), three full size pitches (each fully railed and with hard standing), a training pitch
and a couple of kiddie-sized pitches with mini nets. Each pitch is sufficient in standard to enter at Central Midlands Premier
Level, and each has properly built dug-outs and surfaces that many in the UniBond would kill for, all in all it is a great
location for football. On top of this there is a pavilion serving Springbank's finest hot drinks, with a nice little summer
terrace, and a beer garden to boot. We arrived at the ground far too early, the run down from Derby had been a doddle to say
the least, so we were the first non-players at the ground - which I guess caught the lady behind the counter a little unawares,
especially as we started to tuck into the beer and oatcakes on offer. One dilemma I guess they do have is admission charges,
which I have to say - whilst not exactly compulsory - is expected. But if two games are on at the same time, as there must
be on more than one occasion, how do they take admission? The answer to that is they sell programmes in lieu of admission,
so with two games to watch, well let's just say the groundhopper fraternity will be in paradise when this news surfaces...
The first of our hosts to cover I guess is the most senior,
Stone Old Alleynians who were formed in 1962, they've spent much of their history in the Staffordshire League but this season
have decided to join the West Midlands Regional League - currently they sit at the top of a very tight Division Two table.
Just recently they have been banging the goals in for fun, in fact they have hit home TWENTY-SIX in their last four games,
and given their visitors Punjab United (no relation to the team from Derby I covered a few years ago) have been shipping them
in at the back, this one has goals galore written all over it. The visitors for this one have had to come a fair old way from
Wolverhampton, and though there was no previous form to go on between these two teams, you had to feel it was going to be
a hard journey back for them. And that leaves Barlaston, who used to play at the home of posh pottery, Wedgewood Sports and
Social Club in the village. They shared there with the village's cricket team, until that is they decided to move into the
newly refurbished Springfield Park, along with everyone else. So far they've been sitting mid-table this season, so with their
visitors Eccleshall AFC (the second team of Eccleshall FC in all but name) languishing at the foot of the table, it doesn't
bode well for a very good high scoring game - in fact the two teams have managed a paltry 29 goals each, an average of just
over one a game. I guess you can gather which one will probably get more attention, but I have been known to be surprised
in the past, so I wouldn't put it past this one being the best game of the season...
So, how's this going to work
then? Right, between the two pitches is a vantage point that makes both games 100% visible, with no obstructions or distractions.
Remembering the fact that in a majority of games there are lengthy periods of midfield possession, which in other words means
not a great deal of excitement is going on, this gives the opportunity to "half focus" solely on the other game. The ball
goes out of play, swivel head to watch the other, and so on. From the findings of my questions to a whole host of football
watchers, it "counts" as seeing a game if the following criteria can be ticked; you see the kick off and full time whistle
blown, you see all the goals and all the major incidents, you can tell someone else what went on in the game and you know
the full time score. There are others, and when you look at that list above you have to ask yourself, "how many games have
I really seen anyway?" How many times have you missed a goal by nipping to the loo? Yet, because you missed that goal, does
that mean you weren't there? Or for those who are slaves to traffic, how many have rolled in late - or even worse - left a
game early to beat the traffic? The best analogy of this would be like watching a real-life Sky Multi-View, with more than
one game going on at the same time, but your focus is switched between which is the most interesting game. In theory it SHOULD
work, but as they say "the proof is in the pudding", and instead of doing a match summary as normal I've decided a time log
of events would be a better way to catalogue the day's football...
Okay, Pitch One to our left - Stone Alleynians versus
Punjab United Sports; Pitch Two to the right - Barlaston versus Eccleshall.
14:29 - Pitch One is kicking off, so tick number
one in the box, meanwhile they are still faffing about on Pitch Two waiting for the referee (who was late).
14:31 - Pitch
Two eventually gets under way, whilst on the other pitch Punjab are looking shaky at the back, I reckon that goal avalanche
is coming.
14:33 - A wayward attempt on Pitch Two sails pathetically out of the ground, allowing us to concentrate fully
on Pitch One, which is great as Stone's relentless pressure pays of with the first goal of the afternoon - a floated cross
is headed just inside the post. Stone 1 Punjab 0.
14:50 - Still nothing to report from Pitch Two, which frankly is not
a very good game at all, but on Pitch One some hopelessly misplaced passes allow Punjab's leading scorer Daljinder Bassi through
on goal one-on-one and slot home. Stone 1 Punjab 1.
15:15 - Half time on Pitch One, an entertaining half of football which
has seen Punjab frustrate the hosts beyond belief, a fine effort indeed and one that pleases the travelling contingent.
15:16
- Referee blows on Pitch Two, which is not an opinion of his performance, but could sum up a very dull half of football in
the Staffordshire County Senior League.
15:29 - Pitch One players are the first to emerge from the dressing rooms, and
their game gets back under way first again, seconds after Neil emerges from the bar with yet more beer.
15:32 - And Eccleshall
restart the game on Pitch Two.
15:44 - Drama on Pitch One! A hopeful punt into the box sees a Stone player rise to head
with a Punjab player, looks clumsy and the referee points to the spot shouting "HANDBALL, PENALTY!" I ask the linesman what
the referee has seen, he replies "I don't really know". Daljinder Bassi steps up and scores his second, shock scoreline -
Stone 1 Punjab 2. Still nothing on Pitch Two...
16:07 - Getting feisty on Pitch Two (at last) as two players collide into
the corner flag, minor mêlée ensues between the two resulting in flag being ripped from pole; we point this out to the immensely
rotund lino who replies "not bothered, it ain't mine!" Class assistant referees we have today, it has to be said...
16:10
- A corner is awarded on Pitch One for Stone, and with the wind picking up they whip it in to the middle, the Punjab keeper
had to be at his best to stop it going directly in. From the next corner the ball is scrambled over the line and it's all
on. Stone 2 Punjab 2. Meanwhile on Pitch Two, erm... nothing much happening. Glad we didn't come to watch THAT game on its
own!
16:15 - Bloody hell! Eccleshall venture into the Barlaston half, whack the ball across the face of the goal and stooping
at the back post is substitute Danny Herd to head home, giving one moment of drama in the whole game. Barlaston 0 Eccleshall
1.
16:16 - Referee blows for full time on Pitch Two, and not before time, that wasn't the most entertaining ninety minutes
I've ever witnessed - a shock result nonetheless.
16:18 - Pitch One had seen a few delays, what with the protests and such
with the penalty, so it wasn't a surprise to find the game that started first ended last. The referee blows for full time,
and the experiment is over, two games - two surprise results.
Well to be honest that was interesting, it certainly
wasn't as confusing and hard to follow as I thought; however if the Barlaston game had as much about it as the Alleynians'
game we would have had an issue. As expected the Alleynians game was clearly the better of the two, although not for the reasons
predicted, whilst the late winner for Eccleshall made that game the more dramatic. I have to say it added a whole new spin
on the saying "I watched a right old game and a half today!" Now before I finished typing this up, I decided to post the games
on a forum of the "where did you go on..." groundhopping type thread, and surprisingly I got very little in the way of reaction
or response. Not that I expected any, which is why when I got up on Sunday morning, turned on my lap-top and checked my inbox
I was stunned to see what kind of reaction it had provoked. Funnily enough (in a world where the non-league "snob" rules supreme),
not one of them scoffed at the fact it was physically impossible to see two games at once, in fact the reaction was one of
"why hadn't we thought of that?" So to summarise, an idea that was just a mess about by two people who had probably one drink
too many has probably unleashed an idea onto the groundhopping world which wants just that, lots of football - and programmes
to boot. I don't think I'll be trying it again in the near future, but I have to leave with this - Yarnfield, lock up yer
daughters, there's a storm coming...
Jaunt No. 24
PSV Eindhoven 2 Helsingborgs 0
UEFA
Cup Third Round
Wednesday, 13/02/08
Onlangs heb ik geprobeerd om het Nederlands
te leren. Wanneer ik "onlangs" zeg, beteken ik twee jaar. Ik ben nog niet zeer goed, maar het is een zeer moeilijke te leren
taal. Mijn "leraar" is een collega op het werk geroepen Cabbi geweest - een Feyenoord Fan. Ik heb nooit naar Holland in het
verleden gereist, zodat was ik benieuwd hoe ik aan de taal het hoofd zal bieden. Ik ben zeer goed bij het zweren...
Honestly it IS a hard language, the biggest problem for me is how to pronounce the letter "G", which
is like bringing phlegm from the back of your throat. Anyway, a good percentage of the population of the Netherlands is pretty
good at speaking English, so apart from spotting whether they are calling me names behind my back - I doubt I'll get much
practice - but if the insults start flying, well watch me go.
As I said (trust me, it's
up there at the top) I've never been to Holland, so the whole premise of a Valentine's Day in Amsterdam, coupled with a half-term
break in Brugge and Brussels is all new to me. My "teacher" had been bugging me for a while to head over to the land of the
kaas-kop, mainly trying me to go and see how prachtig Rotterdam is, but seeing as it's about as charming
as Hull - we thought we'd do the tourist bit first and go to the "Dam". Brugge on the other hand is like a second home to
us - well it would be, I'm married to a chocoholic - and Brussels... well it I just needed to get it out of my system. So
the family all agreed on an itinerary, we read up on what to do and what to see, but naturally when it comes to Liam and myself
there just had to be football in there somewhere...
Now as someone who's been
to football in many nations, I've never had any real trouble getting hold of tickets for anywhere, it was just a case of chosing
the right time and the right game. This time however, the football was a lowly second to a well needed family break, and the
fact it was going to be midweek added a new dimension to affairs - would there be any games on? To tell the truth I had no
idea it would be so hard trying to find a single game anywhere in TWO countries, midweek football it seems is not the done
thing on the continent, except for cup competitions and (of course) European football. So with the hotels booked and everything
settled, it was time to scour the net to try and find some game - ANY game - that was on during that period. Luckily for us
this particular midweek was earmarked for UEFA Cup football, and that meant that there were two in the region that were still
in the competition, Anderlecht and PSV. Knowing that Anderlecht was nigh on impossible to get tickets for these days, even
though we were in Brussels on the day of the game, meant that our likely destination was going to be Eindhoven. Now all we
had to do was get tickets...
Okay, so how hard is it to
get tickets for a game of football? Well I'm sure you'll say it depends on the opposition, well normally I'd say you'd be
right, so why would you have trouble getting tickets against a team from bloody Sweden then? Easy explanation - hooliganism
- Holland has had some dreadful problems down the years with the "English Disease", with Feyenoord being expelled from European
footy for that very same reason. The way they have combated this is through a scheme called "Clubcard", which effectively
is an I.D card that affiliates you to one club for the season, enabling you to sit with supporters of that team and (in some
cases) allows you to buy tickets for neutral games in specially allocated areas. It sounds good, and is good, if you go to
watch Dutch top level football on a regular basis. But what do you do if you are in my position? I'm neutral, I don't give
a rat's arse about inter-club rivalries, Ajax, PSV, Feyenoord, ADO Den Haag, je bent klootzak as far as I'm bothered
- or maybe not, I don't care. I have no favourites in Holland, sure I have a soft spot for Ajax (and I also look out for a
certain amateur team's results from the town of Spakenburg) and Liam likes Feyenoord because Cabbi supports them, but a solitary
team I want to go to year in year out - I don't think so. Effectively this is a token outlay (€5.00 per year), but as
I said it is far from ideal to have to go through the whole rigmarole just to get tickets for a game against second rate opposition,
it basically left us with two alternatives. The first is turning up on spec, head to the ticket office, hope it isn't a sell-out
(plus they sell them on the day, which isn't always the case) and hope they'll sell them to the stomme toeristen
(stupid tourists). The second is use your contacts...
My mate Neil has contacts
in Holland, Belper Town have links with DVV Duiven, and through this "brotherhood" he's managed to get to games with his dad
at just about everywhere that matters in Dutch Football. So he decided to put me in touch with a guy (Theo De Reus) who runs
a local publicity and communications business, he in turn put me in touch with another guy (Theo Gieling) who is a hotelier
and member of the PSV Business Club, who happily agreed to get me the tickets. Job done! There is however a third option of
getting the tickets, I forgot to mention this earlier, but it is appropriate to mention it to give you some kind of idea how
exploitative teams can get when they realise how hard it is for Johnny Foreigner to get tickets. PSV offer a "package" that
allows overseas fans to get to games at the Philips Stadion, this little "deal" costs a paltry €100 for a Dutch League
game, for a game in Europe that rises steadily to €170 - EACH! Including kids! And I can't just single out PSV in this
score, the rest of the big three do it too, and it wouldn't surprise me to see that the rest of the Eredivisie did the same.
I wouldn't mind to be fair, but when you look at where these tickets are for, then you have to ask are you getting your money's
worth? Either way I was assured the tickets were in a "good place", and I was to meet Theo (the second one - the hotel bloke.
Yes I know it does get confusing) outside the ground, where we would meet up and exchange "wares"...
I got an e-mail from Theo (the first one, the press guy) arranging the meeting in Eindhoven, he explained
it was easy because "Eindhoven is a small town, with a small hospital, a small church, a small railway station and (of course)
a small football team". I figured he must be an Ajax fan, but I have to concede he was right about Eindhoven (apart from the
team that is), it is small and kind of quaint - a bit like a European cross between York and Rotherham - with a very nice
church. Seeing as we'd sacked Brussels as an idea for tourism very quickly (what a shit-hole) we found ourselves parked in
Eindhoven very early, so we thought we'd try some local cuisine at a little restaurant opposite the aforementioned church,
enjoying some pretty good Kung Po Chicken. Alright, so it was a Chinese Restaurant, we were saving the pannekoeken
for Amsterdam. After a while Theo (number two) rang me, they would meet me at the stadion one hour before kick-off,
the tickets were a "go" then. An hour before kick-off we were outside the ground, having spent thirty minutes and a small
fortune in the club shop, with a very disgruntled twelve year old demanding to know why we wouldn't spend €50.00 for
a replica "vintage" football for him. The phone rang, it was Theo (number two) wanting to know where we were, he was outside
the club shop as agreed, where was I? Turns out we were at completely the opposite end of the ground, who'd have thought there
were two club shops, what are the chances of that at a top European Club?
We finally met up and exchanged
"wares", and I have to say I found Theo and his companion to be very affable blokes, even though their English was only a
little bit better than my Dutch. To add a little "extra" to the ticket deal, he arranged for us to enjoy a bit of the corporate
hospitality in the PSV Business Club suite, and very nice it was too. In this plush little environment we were surrounded
by the ex-greats of PSV, of whom I'd heard of approximately... erm, none of them! Yep, Mr International Football Expert showed
himself up to be a right ignoramus when it comes to Dutch football, and even more of a prat when the team sheets were handed
round. I knew only one solitary player out of both sides, and he was in the Helsingborg team, their captain Henrik Larsson
- "hij is Feyenoord!" "nee, hij is Celtic!" - and Liam wasn't much more help. When the guys asked him if HE knew
any Dutch players, he came up with a few, all of them Feyenoord players - so I guess you could say we made a great impression,
but seeing as I'm the last person you'd stick in the "good ambassador" role, you shouldn't be surprised. Overall though we
enjoyed the respite from the outside temperatures, which as it turned out had dropped to a pretty chilly -8°c, but that we
knew would be just a temporary respite...
Holland has leaped bounds
in terms of spectator comfort in the past decade, they have tried everything possible to put football hooliganism to rest,
so it should come as no surprise that PSV would be one of those leading the way. Outside the stadium, it looks like it's been
dropped from outer space, with a big modern exterior giving the impression of luxury. Inside it looks to be no different to
many grounds in the Championship - Ipswich, Norwich, even Everton I guess - very similar to those of that ilk, but add to
that dirty great big television screens around the ground giving the Big Match build up (which I understood, for a change)
plus heaters in the stands. Yes, that's right, it is a standard in Dutch grounds to have big industrial heaters built into
the underside of the stand roofs. It makes for an unusual environment to see this, or experience it for the first time, you
are wrapped up for a night in the cold only to come into a comfortable temperature. It's a bit weird, a bit like going to
the Arena or something; Lynn loved it - especially being of the nesh persuasion. It also adds an eerie perspective on such
an unbearably cold night such as this, as the warmth of the stadium collides with the cold of the outside, making a weird
fog hover at roof level. It looks as though it has its own weather system, with a cloud permanently hanging above the play,
and if a ball was kicked high enough it would completely disappear from view. So thick was this fog, it was impossible to
see the Helsingborg fans in the away section; you could hear them - but see them? Not a chance...
So there we were, warm comfortable,
in very decent seats. The crowd was very atmospheric on three sides, the odd one out being ours - far too civilised to join
in with that riff-raff - and we settled down for a good night's football. The game kicked off with a certain amount of abandon,
with both sides throwing everyone forward from the off, and after just a little over five minutes we were
treated to the first goal of the night. I'm going to try not to use the words "dive" or "con" in the description of the build
up, but PSV's forward Danko Lazović took the ball round Swedish keeper Daniel Andersson, the Serbian International then
dived and conned the Cypriot referee into giving a penalty and booking the keeper. Sorry, I tried - I failed - he cheated.
The skipper Timmy Simons stepped up and scored, and at least we'd continued our trend of never having seen a goal-less match
abroad, even if it was a dodgy penalty. Helsingborgs' Beninese striker Razak Omotoyossi had a couple of scorable chances,
but he set his stall out as being the "crap player" we always see on these outings, and PSV's Portuguese goalie Gomes came
out on top each time. PSV extended their lead in the 33rd minute moments after Ibrahim Afellay hit the post, he unleashed
a powerful shot on target that Andersson failed to hold and Lazovic pounced on the rebound, blasting home from close range.
At 2-0 that was the end of the night's scoring, Helsingborgs tried to push forward to grab a vital away goal, but failed on
each occasion - leaving Henrik looking a rather frustrated looking figure...
After the game we headed back to the car-park, and despite losing the bloody thing (failing rule
#1 of car-parking - remember where you left it) we were still out of the car park before the mass of PSV fans who seemed to
fail to grasp the concept of looking for another pay-machine, when there is another one a couple of flights of stairs up!
And they were probably still queuing when we missed the motorway exit, probably still there when we were reversing up at speed
after taking the wrong slip road, and probably still there when we were pulled over by the police... except, luckily for us
that was to let the Swedish fans' coaches have safe passage to the motorway and not to receive a well earned ticket! Overall
though it was a highly enjoyable evening, and thanks to the two Theos for getting it on for us, but I reckon it'll be the
last dip into Dutch top level football for a while. We will however be heading to the Netherlands again shortly, in October
I reckon, and hopefully we'll be watching that team from Spakenburg I was on about. And until then, Tot straks Holland...
Jaunt No. 23
Halifax Town 4 Ossett Albion 1
West Riding County Cup Quarter Finals
Wednesday 06/02/08
At what stage do you consider someone to be "a big club"?
I know in comparison to Sheffield FC you could consider anyone higher in the pyramid "big", whereas put your United or Wednesday
(or Chesterfield) hats on and you will then start talking anyone in the Premier League; me as a Luton fan - well I consider
anyone other than the Hatters a big club. Even when we were in the top division, I always took a bit of perverse pride in
being a "small club", especially when in arguments with fans of the local clubs ("you get 20,000 disappointed punters
each week, you'd think they'd see sense sooner or later" et cetera) who came up with the "shit ground, no fans" statement.
Since I've started watching Club - nearly ten years soon folks - and more recently since I've been "jaunting", I've come across
teams who are giants in the non-league world, who I seriously envy. But there are still teams who are at a higher level than
Club, some a helluva lot higher, who I absolutely pity. Teams who draw less crowds than Sheffield, teams that play at worse
grounds than the BFS, and teams that are up to their necks in debt and the future looks bleak to say the least. Some have
had tradition and pride beyond recognition, some are "fly by nights", others though are household names. Take Halifax Town
for instance; this is a team that sits in a place in the pyramid us at Sheffield can only dream of, yet I wouldn't swap our
lives with theirs...
Even going back to my youth I always considered Halifax as
"one of those teams", you know they sat at the bottom of Division Four with Hartlepool, Rochdale, Darlington and the like
waiting in trepidation for the re-election process that would see some poor unfortunate drop into non-league. Seriously I
can never picture them anywhere else but in the dregs of Division Four, and my old Shoot Magazine League Ladder always
had them trying to defy the gravitational pull of last place, which (as you all know) has a lasting impression on a young
lad. They were never featured on telly, yet each week they were there, trotting out on a weekend and (more often than not)
losing. In the late 70's I actually got to the Shay, not football though, with the Sheffield Tigers Speedway team. I thought
it was an absolute dump, but in a stadium where they were bringing 1,500 through the turnstiles for football, the terraces
were thronging with petrol-heads watching Kenny Carter whiz round at break-neck speed. Eventually I was persuaded to join
some of my Manchester City supporting cronies on a trip to the Shay one grotty January afternoon, for a third round FA
Cup tie, and a cakewalk was expected with City running in a hat-full. It didn't materialise, City were dire - as was
the pitch - and amazingly Halifax won 1-0. My mates were despondent, and rightly so, whereas I was absolutely wetting myself.
It should have heralded a new dawn for Halifax, but it didn't.
On that visit to the Shay the thing that grabbed me
most was the state of the "stadium" itself, the terracing was nothing short of muck encrusted railway sleepers, and the City
fans did nothing but bitch about it - after all they were being embarrassed by a team whose home was nothing short of a dump.
How it qualified as a league ground was beyond me, it would struggle to make UniBond standards these days, but it highlighted
what kind of life a team like Halifax lived. That was the last time I went to the Shay for football, Halifax dropped into
non-league obscurity - then out of it - then back into it. At the moment Halifax share the title of most senior non-league
team in the county of Yorkshire with York City, and like the Minstermen, I wouldn't swap places with them for all the
tea in China - and oh boy, I do like tea. The ground has had a facelift since then, but like you'd expect there's
a twist to the tale, as when the money ran out - so did the improvements. So you are left with a half finished ground,
with two impressive banks of terracing behind each goal, the old side terraced all seated (albeit a bit banged up) and the
main stand... well I guess it was a good idea at the time. What you are left with is the concrete shell, not even the fascia
of the stand roof is finished, and there are about fifty seats scattered around willy-nilly. I'm sure it will be impressive
when it's done, but at the moment it looks embarrassing, and there's no timescale on when it'll get done...
The key problem is cash, or to be exact, the lack of it.
Every time I see Halifax mentioned in the press, it is usually coupled up with their imminent demise, never anything positive.
Which is the point I was trying to make earlier, they are a team who are ranked in a place I could only dream of at this moment
with Sheffield, but rather than living the dream - they are living the nightmare. It always makes me wonder how a team like
that gets into such a bad shape, maybe bad management, maybe the lack of backing from their local community in the shadow
of a bigger team. But West Yorkshire doesn't have a single team in the top two divisions in England, that may or may not be
relevant, but I just wanted to point that out anyway. At the moment they are living a week to week existence, and more often
than not they are having hurdles put in front of them, even when they achieve impressive things. Take last season's County
Cup campaign for instance, where they beat Pontefract Collieries 14-3 (yes that's right FOURTEEN), you'd think it'd be them
that went on to bigger and better things and no doubt would be favourites to win the cup outright. Wrong - it was Pontefract
who progressed to the next round to play Bradford Park Avenue, simply because of Halifax's inability to register a player
for the competition, that or they had a death wish. The rest of the County could not believe their luck, and Goole went on
to take advantage and won the final...
But surely lightning cannot strike twice in this respect,
tonight's game is also a match up at home to one of the county's lesser lights Ossett Albion, which is not meant to say Albion
have not caused us some problems down the years. On paper once again you expect Halifax to march through relentless and get
to the County Cup Final, lifting the trophy some time in May at Woodlesford, they have enough players on show to do that without
breaking sweat. But even with the injuries they are suffering, they should be able to be too much for a team from UniBond
One, so I was expecting a biggish scoreline. Ossett are in a similar spot to us in the northern version of our division, and
they've had their moments so far, but this one should be a bit of a difficult obstacle. They'd just seen an eight game undefeated
run come to an end, one that had seen them hammer title favourites Curzon Ashton on their own patch along the way, but even
given that this is considered a "Mickey Mouse Competition" I couldn't see a shock result on the horizon. But stranger things
have happened, and coincidentally the winners of this tie are due to play Bradford Park Avenue in the next round, surely Albion
weren't going to find fortune the same way Pontefract had done twelve months earlier...
Halifax's average crowd is around the 1,300 mark; with probably
3,000 expected for the visit of York City next week, so to say tonight's attendance of 174 was disappointing is an understatement.
Obviously the crowd was made up of die-hard followers from both teams, and given the recent weather that left the pitch
a little worse for wear; it never was going to be a great spectacle. The goals I expected started to come as early as the
tenth minute, when Darryn Stamp flicked on to Andy Campbell who finished quite easily, and minutes later it was two as Nick
Gray headed in a Tom Kearney corner. But a certain amount of arrogance surfaced in Town's play, and on twenty minutes Albion
pulled one back - much to the delight of their little knot of followers - as Mark Whitehouse headed home. It looked as if
the visitors were able to step up a gear as well, and they looked the better of the two sides for the rest of the half, with
an equaliser more likely than any goal avalanche. Ten minutes into the second half though Darryn Stamp dived in to head home
a Steve Torpey free-kick, all Ossett's hopes of a shock win disintegrated, and with twenty minutes left it was all over as
|
