|
Jaunt No. 32... and the last one!!!!!
Marsden 4 Farnley 2
Meltham Athletic 10 Overthorpe Sports
0
West Riding County Amateur League
Saturday, 17/05/08
All good things must come to an end!
This my friends is the last EVER Jaunts, the one that puts the full stop on the sentence, the one that blows the full
time whistle. After six seasons (I think) of trekking around the country and reporting on football many of you wouldn't have
considered or heard of, I have decided to call it a day, and concentrate my writing efforts on Sheffield FC alone. Don't get
me wrong people, I will still be heading out into the big wide world in search of adventure, the time to write about it afterwards
is becoming scarcer and scarcer. Work is starting to take its toil on me, my free time is pretty much at a premium, and the
people I've spoken to about this (those of whom are readers of this column in particular) have been very understanding and
supportive of this decision. I have to say at this point I've made quite a few friends and acquaintances through this column,
and it's a bit embarrassing to say it has made me fairly well known in certain circles, but mainly it has been a laugh. The
other day I was scrolling through some of the adventures and I must admit I had to giggle to myself at some of the guff I've
typed on these pages, but also smiled at some pretty decent memories from the last few seasons, with some pretty good highlights
and (conversely) lowlights along the way...
Without wanting to turn this into a
"Best Of" scenario, I'll just give a little cast back of the last six seasons, which started way back with a trip to Stone
Dominoes on a Friday night game against Maine Road - all because there was nowt on t'box! I hardly expected it to become a
regular feature, but I got good feedback, and after trips abroad and into the weird and downright obscure leagues it eventually
found its way into the Sheffield FC programme. I guess today it would be called a "Blog", but at the time it was a bit of
a one man excursion into the world of football, kinda like "Trev's Travels" but from a different angle. As time went on I
decided on a "list", which I wrote up one wet Sunday in June and added to as new and interesting teams came along, and crossed
off when they appeared on here. Most of the time they came from a sentimental point of view, South Liverpool in particular
springs to mind there, but often it was just because I saw an article somewhere or liked the sound of the name. Others were
because I was just too lazy to think of anywhere to go, so just tagged along with one of my mates, but all of them had the
basis of something to write about - and hopefully were interesting enough to keep the readers' attention.
On that "list" is a little team called
Marsden, based in the village of the same name on the A62 between Huddersfield and Oldham, an exposed place as any you'll
find on God's fair planet. It is one of those typical mill villages you see on Last of the Summer Wine, or maybe a Hovis advert,
where no doubt half time entertainment will be provided by three daft old blokes flying down the hill on an old bed.
Actually it isn't a million miles away from Holmfirth, but I doubt the Marsden locals would ever forgive me for dragging their
fair town into the same stereotype as that bloody programme, so I'll apologise now. There's been talk of Marsden making the
move up the pyramid quite a few times recently, with the NWCFL the route seemingly touted for them, but it always seems to
boil down to facilities and taking that last little ambitious step. The ground is set just off the main trunk road, with the
usual (for this level) railed off pitch, with very little cover. One side is set directly alongside Fall Lane, where if the
ball flies out the ground that side, it is usually followed by one of the substitutes trotting off precariously down the hill
- skidding on their studs. Behind the top goal is a basic little clubhouse, it serves beer, has an overhang outside to keep
you dry if it rains - it ticks all the boxes. But try and look at this scenic little ground, and then try and picture what
needs to be done for them to climb the pyramid, you'll find it hard to do - it's gonna cost a fair amount of cash...
The local team is nicknamed the Cuckoos,
one that seemed to inspire the visit to Warstones the other week, and play their football in the West Riding County Amateur
League - one of the more recurring leagues in this column. Actually when I planned this game it was quite tight at the top
of the Division One table, with three teams vying for the title and this one, and today's game being a potential title decider.
As it happened the third team in the equation (South Bradford) blew out last Saturday at home to the other team (Kirkburton),
handing the title to Kirkburton, and with Marsden winning their game they subsequently wrapped up runners-up spot. So like
yesterday there's very little for Marsden to play for, win-lose-or-draw they are promoted, and with it are in second
place. Now the visitors Farnley on the other hand, oooh it means a lot, they need a win - desperately. It's the last game
in this league completely, and Farnley are sitting next to bottom, two points away from Eastmoor - and safety. A loss or a
draw will send them down - simple as - but if you think this will be a walk over for the visitors and the hosts will lie down,
you would be totally wrong. Looking at the league's forum it seems that the Farnley manager is quite disliked in certain quarters
of Marsden (apparently he's a short little stupid fat ginger...), and they'd like nothing more than to send him down into
the bottom league. So it has the look of quite an interesting little game...
A bonus for today was a second game
in the division above Marsden; I'd finished work a fair bit earlier than expected, and seeing as I had to pass through the
neighbouring village this game was being played in - it seemed a good idea. That was Meltham, who'd been asked by their visitors
Overthorpe Sports to bring the game forward to 12.30 due to the FA Cup final, but God only knows why. I arrived two minutes
before the kick off time to find Overthorpe had travelled up from Dewsbury with EIGHT players, including NO GOALKEEPER, and
were up against a team that was in good form. After thirty minutes the referee blew for half time, it was 3-0 to Meltham Athletic,
but it could easily have been fifteen or more if not for missed chances and freakish saves from the emergency stopper. As
soon as Meltham put their tenth in the back of the net, we'd had just under an hour played, the referee had seen enough -
and Meltham declared. Although it was just a fleeting visit to Meltham, I have to say it wins a lot of plaudits in my book
as the ground shares its facilities with the local cricket club, and with that it has a very lush bar-cum-pavilion. The ground
has probably the best setting I have seen this season, and if it wasn't for the rain in the nearby hills, it would have gone
down as the most scenic I'd been to - ever!
Straight after the full-time whistle
it was a ten minute run up and over the hill to the neighbouring town of Marsden, by which time we'd found the rain, and the
teams warming up for Farnley's D-day. It has to be said that Farnley looked up for the challenge today, and after a spirited
start they took the lead after five minutes, when a freakish attempted cross that flew over Marsden's Lee Pollard and
into the corner - even though he'd shouted "keeper's ball". Marsden equalised through James Rayner mid-way through the half,
and even though after half time Farnley again took the lead, the Cuckoos equalised through a fantastic John Conheeney goal
and Elliot Shaw came off the bench to thump in number three. The Cuckoos had made Wayne Reade skipper for the day, as
he was retiring after this game, and he scored a very memorable third - skipping round two defenders before dancing
around the keeper twice, and placing the ball in the net to the mass approval of the spectators. He followed this by getting
a rousing reception after being substituted late on, with his goal seriously knocking the stuffing out of the visitors,
there was no way back and Farnley were condemned to relegation. Of the two games, this one was obviously the better, and Marsden
were good to their word - they didn't hold back, and we were entertained by a team that is bound to grace the top division
with some good football...
So it finally ends - from Stone Dominoes
to Marsden Cuckoos, via Scotland, Wales, Holland, Cyprus, France, Ireland, Malta, Spain, Ripley and the Punjab. I leave with
this little message - thanks to everyone who has spent a boring half hour at the office desk reading this column, or been
inspired to visit any of these teams on the basis of reading this, I'm sure your experiences will have echoed mine. So goodbye,
au revoir, tot straks, ciao, and all that. Don't shed a tear, I'll see you around, if you see me
say hello. The list is nowhere near done, believe me, but the Jaunts most certainly is. Jamesie has left the building...
Jaunt No. 31
Crewe FC 1 Broadheath Central 2
Cheshire Football League
Division Two
Friday, 16/05/08
Back in the day when I was watching league football,
I developed a strange desire to visit all 92 clubs, and decided to set about achieving that goal. It all started in a pub
near to Charlton Athletic's ground one Saturday afternoon, whilst tagging along to a Sheffield United away game, and the driver
of our transit (no luxury back then, was there fellas) sat looking at the paper counting. When he told us that "by my calculations
(a phrase he always started trivia crap with - and one I started to mockingly nick off him later) I have been to 62 football
league grounds, and the Valley will be my 63rd - leaving me 29 to achieve the ultimate goal!" One of the other party piped
up that "young Jamesie must have been to more than that - he watches Luton as well as t'Blades", and with that it was a case
of them doing an "audit" of where I'd been and who I'd seen there - "Liverpool?" "Luton, two seasons ago" "Norwich?" "Same
again" And by the time we'd got to "Rochdale?" "United in t'fourth division!" They'd worked out I'd been to 80 of the 92 and
Charlton was my 81st ground, leaving a mere eleven to visit in the league. I managed to get to 86 eventually by the end of
the following season, with the six I hadn't been to being Torquay (unsurprisingly), Plymouth (ditto), Bournemouth, Colchester,
Tottenham (yeah, I know) and amazingly Crewe Alexandra. The thing was that dropped to 85 immediately with the advent of promotion
from the Conference, and as time passed and teams moved into new stadiums, it made no difference that I'd checked off the
majority of those six - I still never reached the giddy heights of "86 out of 92" again...
The last of those I got to was Crewe's Gresty Road, in
1997 - and I could probably tell you the date, scorers, what I ate and drank, but I won't - as that was a very painful day
for me. Well it was part one of TWO painful days in a week, both involving Crewe Alexandra, and play-off semi-finals. And
to be honest with you, given the fact I have travelled miles watching football (and visiting a bloody huge sight more than
92 grounds in the process), I have NEVER set foot in Crewe ever since! Actually I was just thinking whilst I was typing that
first sentence in this paragraph about play-off hurt, all I've been hearing on the radio on my way to work is about this Crewe
and Nantwich by-election, both of my teams have suffered in this neck of the woods and both of them should have heralded success.
Either way, despite having never returned I don't harbour any hard feelings towards the place, and I've often thought about
going to the town to take in a game of sorts. As far as non-league goes, there has been very little to head to - Dabbers excepted
- and there's very little in the way of a presence in the higher echelons to choose from. As a rule Crewe sits in a funny
limbo between Manchester and the Midlands - a bit like Stoke really - but as the Potteries have the Staffordshire League,
Crewe doesn't have a great deal. One of the teams from the parts that has caught my eye, for more than one reason, was Crewe
FC - it was the "FC" bit that caught my eye being honest - and a visit to here has been on the agenda for a short while, and
with the season winding down with minimal fixtures on show, what better time to go...
Ironically Crewe FC were formed a year after the last
time I was in the town, in 1998, so they haven't got a long and distinguished history or anything like that. They currently
play in the Cheshire Association Football League, which used to be the Mid Cheshire League until recently, which is another
new one for me and sits about the same level as the Central Midlands Premier League in the pyramid - except the facilities
are not as robust as those in the CMFL and the second division (where Crewe play) is littered with the reserve teams of such
luminaries as FCUM, Congleton, Warrington and Maine Road. It isn't as though they've ripped up any trees this season, nor
in any other season really, and the best they've achieved was a second place in this league in their second year of existence.
After that it has been a rather mediocre playing record that has been produced, the best being a sixth placed finish in the
top division in 2004, but they followed that with last place and relegation the season after. Since then they've plodded along,
never really living up to any real expectations, despite having a fairly loyal backing. Away from the league they CAN confidently
say they are the "Premier Non-League Team in Crewe", as they've won the Crewe Cup FIVE TIMES in six seasons, the fifth time
coming on Saturday against Lostock Gralam. And as far as facilities go, Crewe are sort of blessed with a nice set up, with
their home being the Cumberland Sports Arena - just about a mile up the road from Gresty Road. There aren't much in the way
of spectator facilities, with the running track serving as hard standing and the pavilion acting as a rudimentary covered
area, but the centre's buildings are as state-of-the-art as you'll get at this level...
Tonight's game is simply an archetypal end-of-season
fixture, and every season you get one team in the lower leagues that have suffered badly due to postponements or cup commitments,
and with it end up having their season extended to the end of May. This season it is the turn of Crewe, who as you may have
guessed fall into the latter of those two categories with their Crewe Cup campaign, and they've had to fit in five games since
Sheffield's regular season ended - with tonight being the last. Their opponents are Broadheath Central, who've travelled down
from Altrincham, and like Crewe have never really set the league alight. Okay, they've won the second division twice, but
they've followed both those titles with a few austere seasons in the top flight before getting relegated. They too are sitting
in a rather disappointing spot in the league after promising so much, with two consecutive home defeats of 6-1 and 7-1 contrasting
wildly with away victories over the league champions and runners up, and a couple of big scores in their favour summing up
a pretty bi-polar campaign. A win for Broadhurst will take them up one place to fifth (unless they win by more than twelve),
whilst a win for Crewe would take them up one place to eighth (unless they win by eighteen goals), a draw does absolutely
nothing at all to the final placings. Really there is nothing to play for in tonight's game, so from my perspective it is
football for football's sake, and I don't expect much of an eventful ninety minutes. But then as I've said before, you never
know...
Of the two it looked like the Altrincham side were the
more "up for it", and they didn't take long to take the lead, after some nervous defending by the home team. The recent hot
weather we've had seemed to have broken, and the little bit of rain we had prior to the game had made the surface a lot worse
than it looked, both hard and greasy. It also invited the insects to come out in force, and they were having a lovely feast
on my head, literally eating me alive. The game was getting tasty too, with some very lively challenges going in, and the
referee waving play on at every opportunity. Just before the interval he did blow for a foul, on the edge of the Broadhurst
area, and Crewe took advantage of this to curl a lovely equaliser into the net. As the half time whistle was blown the ball
was played through for the Broadhurst number ten to chase, as the whistle was being blown the keeper came out and flattened
the forward in a Harald Schumacher fashion, and as the referee didn't see it - the number ten's vehement protests fell on
deaf ears with a threat of being sent off. Midway through the second half the same player was put through one-on-one with
the keeper, he took the ball round him to leave himself an empty goal, only the keeper decided a rugby tackle would stop him
- "play on, play on! Nothing happened!" The game was descending into the realms of comedic refereeing, a shame really, but
justice was done five from the end when the visitors grabbed all three points with a volley that gave the home keeper no chance.
Overall it was a good entertaining ninety minutes, the standard of football falling into "not bad", with the facilities a
bit higher. One little thing is if Crewe FC want to progress any further, one of two things needs to happen - either they
leave the Cumberland Arena or the local council need to improve the spectator facilities at the ground. Personally I can see
neither happening in the near future, so for the time being it looks like they are here for the near future...
Jaunt No. 30
Ossett Common Rovers 5 Pool AFC 1
West Yorkshire League Premier Division
Saturday, 10/05/08
Am I being too presumptuous to say that summer has arrived?
I only ask this as today seemed to be worthy of anything but football, and for me to come out with that line, well something
must be wrong. I guess I must have been influenced by recent events, yes we are in May, and yes as far as Sheffield FC is
concerned the season is over. This morning I woke up with the sun burning my eyes, having risen with the expected hangover
from the previous night's presentation night, and the prospect of babysitting Neil's very active five year old son George
for a morning. Amazingly I survived that, the expectation that Liam's dad would lurve to go out in the morning sun
and have a kick-about, and with lunch out of the way it was a case of mission accomplished. I had been regretting volunteering
for this little job, but to be honest it was a doddle, and it left me fresh to dive in Neil's car when he'd finished "work"
and head with the kids to a random non-league game. For a change it was a very easy one for us, and from my point of view,
one that had been on the near horizon for as long as the series has been going. That's right - if it's May, it must be a delve
into the minor leagues - and normally that means the West Yorkshire leagues, with today a little trip to see Ossett's THIRD
team. Ossett Common Rovers...
Actually I am a bit sick of heading up the M1 lately, so
today was a bit of a change for me to travel up that road for a bit of recreation, rather than the humdrum of work. I was
talking the other day of a trip I took to Whitkirk Wanderers a couple of weeks ago, in the same league as this one, between
two teams just in mid-table. There wasn't anything to talk about with this really; it was a midweek game kicking off at 6.30
at the beginning of April, so as you'd expect with about ten minutes to go light was at a premium. The female referee (who
also ran the line for one of our home games in April) had presided pretty well over a rather shoddy display from both sides,
and the game had pretty much settled at two-each as the light faded, so I thought I may as well leave the game about three
or four minutes from the end as I could literally see bugger all. When I got home and checked the league website to see it
had ended that way, I thought no more about it, and frankly it wasn't worth talking about - it was rubbish. Two weeks later
I found a blog site from the linesman of this game, who described events after I had left, which involved a twenty two man
brawl in injury time - involving both benches and supporters of the home team, with one player getting a lovely little kick
in the head while he was prone on the deck for his troubles. The reason I brought this up is that I was never going to set
my expectations high in today's game following that fare, after all this is end of season fodder, and when the home team
is the basement dwellers - well come on, what do you expect?
Yes, the home team are sitting at the bottom of that league,
and are already relegated. Ossett Common Rovers have been in the West Yorkshire League for the last ten years, with the last
five being spent in the top division, so you can say they are the new kids on the block in Ossett. Well, you can't, as they
are actually the oldest club in the town - with their centenary taking place in two years time - pre-dating Albion by 34 years,
and Town by 26 years. It is just that the other two teams have done the same as United and Wednesday did with us,
developed better and quicker at a vital stage in their respective histories, and updating their facilities and teams
to suit. Common have persevered over the years, but haven't progressed that far away from parks' football, and it seems they've
become the forgotten team in the town. Their current home is Illingworth Park, which is a public park with slides and swings
and roundabouts and the rest, with OCR's empire being a railed off pitch smack in the middle. They have not had the best of
times recently since they got to the top division, and have flirted with the foot of the table for some years, but this season
luck has deserted them and they are rooted to the foot of the table. A look at their fixture list in the programme gives a
clear indication as to how they achieved this, as they managed to go from New Years' to Easter without a win, with some hefty
reverses amongst their games. It isn't good, but since Easter they seem to have perked up a bit, and have started winning
a couple of games to give a bit of respectability to the table. They are still six points adrift of next place with today's
game to play...
That remaining game is today's against Pool, who are based
in Pool-in-Wharfdale near Otley, the top end of Leeds. They've had a mediocre season by any accounts, sitting in tenth spot
out of sixteen teams, and to be fair they don't have a great deal to play for. Watching the warm up didn't fill us full of hope either; a camp George Clooney silver-fox-alike trainer was
taking the visitors through their paces, and they looked like the could hardly walk let alone play - and the trainer's instructions
were hardly being listened to let alone followed. So when Pool went one up with a lightning (okay, it was a break but hardly
lightning) break up the field, and equally simple finish from the amusingly named Michael Jordan, it looked as if OCR were
at the foot of the table for good reason. The weather was taking its toll on everyone, myself included - as I found it more
inviting to have an impromptu wrestle with George and Liam, rather than watch the football - and the officials were having
a collective mare. It reached a pinnacle when the referee made one too many borderline (and not so borderline with one first
half penalty shout) calls, and the (deserved) barracking from the side lines got too much for the man-in-the-middle, so he
decided to send two people off... not players, not coaching staff, but spectators... and he wouldn't continue until they'd
left Illingworth Park's boundaries! Interesting that, I've never seen that happen, and I doubt many present had too and was
summed up lovely by one of the OCR bench who stated "we've got our biggest crowd of the season, and the f***ing ref starts
sending 'em off" - classic. The game had a quick turn round at half time, no messing with dressing room talks at this level,
and the restart brought a complete upheaval of the game in general...
When James Mountain volleyed home an equaliser
for Ossett it seemed that there might by a bit of salvation of a respectable last day scoreline, but they suddenly twigged
that this could be something more, and Pool were far from "wanting it" on the pitch as the day got even hotter. It
seemed they sussed that the big lumps in the Pool defence were slow, and they had someone who was fast, their number seven
- Jordan Corfield. Time after time from this point to the end, the ball was played over the top for Corfield to chase, with
the Pool defence trying everything legal and illegal to stop him. When the Pool number three upended Corfield in the box,
he was lucky to stay on, but Jonny Bundred stepped up and made it 2-1. You'd think they'd learned their lesson, but no - once
again, the ball over the top, Corfield took the ball past the keeper (and his hack at his legs), with the lump number three
succeeding in upending the little winger again, with the same result from the spot from Bundred. And when another ball went
over the top for Corfield, the keeper got there just first to get a foot to the ball, only it went as far as Bundred who chipped
it in from about forty yards out for his hat-trick. Minutes later it was five, same again with the long ball to Corfield who
weaved the ball to an empty net, amazingly that was his first goal of the season. It turned out to be one of the more entertaining
gems of the season, but at the end of the day the result meant nothing as OCR were a lost cause long ago, but it
does give hope that Ossett's third (and oldest) team will bounce straight back. If they perform like today, I wouldn't bet
against it...
Jaunt No. 29
Warstones Wanderers 2 Shenstone Pathfinder
1
West Midlands Regional League Division
One
Tuesday, 06/05/08
My wife Lynn asked me this afternoon
where it was I'd been yesterday, and when I told her I'd been to Barnoldswick (pronouncing it as it is written), she
came up with a choice phrase - "I'm sure you make all these names up!" You can only guess what she said when I told her where
I'm off tonight - "I'm away to Warstones Wanderers versus Shenstone Pathfinder" "Are you taking the mick here? They sound
like summat out of Roy of the Rovers, are you sure you aren't going to see another woman or summat?" Sadly no-one would take
me, but I can see where she's coming from with this one, as I never cease to amaze myself with how many grounds I end up going
to based on names alone. It reminds me of a game a certain groundhopper (Mr Woodings) went to earlier this season, and before
you say it wasn't me - nor is it made up - somewhere in Wales. The game was UNDY Athletic versus PANTEG,
both are towns in Gwent, and the only reason Woody went there was for the pun-laden afternoon based on the names. I know I've
been to some weird and wonderful places, and plenty have been because I liked the name, but tonight is for a completely other
reason - the names have nothing to do with it. The reason for this one is the vulture kind of visit, getting to a ground before
it falls into the hands of the enemy of the football ground, the property developers...
I never really touch the West Midlands
Regional League, mainly down to the fact I think it is just a bit too far to go, but based on some of the trips we've made
this season - it's positively local. The ones that are around Walsall are anyway, and it works out that on a good run - or
a quiet evening - you can get from Gleadless to that area in about eighty minutes, less than it takes to get to Kidsgrove
or Alsager! It might even make me start looking at this league at bit more avidly, but having said that there are a lot of
teams popping on the horizon next season that I wouldn't mind having a nosey at, so they'll get the priority. But Warstones
is one I had my eye on since just after Christmas when they moved into their ground, settling in like cuckoos into the former
home of Wyrley Rangers who just packed in, and when it was announced the ground was being developed - well it just strengthened
my resolve to get there. I suppose it is the wrong attitude to take with this vulturing, but the number of times
I kinda regret not going to a place when it goes belly up defies belief, and on top of this I can forgive myself this as Warstones
are a thriving that'll be playing elsewhere next season. Where that is I don't know, but Long Lane has a market value of just
about a million quid, and is privately owned - I suppose it makes a lot of sense to cash in while you can...
It seems that lately clubs in the West
Midlands go to the wall more often than anywhere else in the country, and some big names in the area have led the way (so
to speak), with Blakenhall, Bloxwich and Paget Rangers all coming to mind inside five seconds - and all of them have left
vacant stadia a short distance from Warstones, and at a standard that was good enough for the same level as Sheffield are
playing at now. Whether they'll take that option, or whether they'll set up on their own, I can't say. What I can say is that
the club has been built up from grassroots, with an enthusiastic committee and management team, and even though they were
only formed in 2001 - they look to have a more solid future than many in the region. This season they've been sort of a nomadic
team, really living up to the "Wanderers" mantle, and they've done well to get themselves to an above mid-table position.
It looked as if they'd finally got a stable home, but as always with plans like this, it turned out to be simply temporary.
So next season they'll have it all to do again, finding a place to stay, and try and settle into the a place they can actually
call home - and once you find a place to call your own, well... you know the rest don't you. Just look at our own little Club
when it comes to ending a nomadic existence...
Getting to Long Lane is a real doddle,
so for this one to disappear is a bit of a shame, but it does give a bit of an insight as to how long it'll take when Chasetown
come into our league (oops, did I say that out loud? Sorry). The ground is pretty much what I'd expected, and certainly as
good as what would be needed for a club of Warstones' stature, with a nice little clubhouse to boot. The rest of the ground
is somewhat basic, with a little 100-seater stand in one corner, the rest hasn't even got hardstanding. It is set in some
pretty nice countryside as a bonus, and for a change it was starting in daylight, which meant I actually got to see the area
rather than guess at what it might look like. To be honest it is about Central Midlands Supreme standard, the equivalent of
the level above this, and with a little more love and attention this little ground could be expanded to a much higher standard
with very little work. But that is hardly going to happen though now, is it? What is a shame is that football will be deprived
of a very nice little bar, having said that, it is more likely to get more trade (if it remains standing) if a little housing
estate is built on the land. A sad way to look at things, I guess...
As I touched on earlier, it was the
opponents' name in this fixture that lured me to this one - that and the fact this was SUPPOSED to be the last game here.
The weather though put paid to that one, and the game that was supposed to have been played last Wednesday has been re-arranged
to this coming Saturday (I think), so this is the penultimate fixture at this ground. Either way Shenstone Pathfinder is one
of the more exotic names in football, and unlike many in this league, they are based in a nice little affluent area north of
Sutton Coldfield - and the ethnic make-up of the side comes across as being not very diverse. In fact they are the first fully-white
team I've seen play in ages in the Midlands, which doesn't serve any purpose as a social statement, more of a quirky observation
than anything else. And to be fair they aren't that hot on the pitch, and for the few seasons I've paid attention to this
league, Shenstone have been one of the lesser lights - struggling every time they've played in Division One - and only last
season getting runners-up in Division Two. This season they've struggled, and they've taken some big kickings, with an 11-0
defeat at Blackheath in September the standout (if you can call it that) result so far. So I was expecting this up-and-coming
nomadic outfit to take their visitors to task, give them a good old hammering, and knock my goal average up a few points.
But I've said so many times before...
Shenstone looked nowhere near as bad
as I expected, but to be honest their keeper Peter Kidd had one of those games, you know the mixed kind. He wasn't one of
the tallest you'd expect to come across, about 5'6" at a guess, but he knew how to make a save. About ten minutes in there
wasn't a great deal he could do; after making a double save with his defence in disarray, there was no way he was able to
make a third - and Warstones took the lead. It seemed he'd done a good damage limitation exercise, but seconds before the
break he made a total hash of a routine ball into the box, leaving the Wanderers' centre forward a great deal of ease in tapping
in from five feet out. I reckoned that Warstones would go on and run about five or six in, but the home side's finishing was...
well, it wasn't good. On the hour mark - and on their first attack - Pathfinder found a way onto the scoresheet (see what
I did then), when a cross was met by the giant substitute Ryan Marrable who planted the ball into the net. That was all the
scoring really, but the game went along with many more chances, and if half of them had been converted there would have been
another six or seven goals - even the linesman had to comment that we could be here all night and not see another goal. And
so that was the way it ended, and it has to be said the small crowd had their money's worth, perhaps on another day it could
have been a goal deluge. Instead it brought down the curtain (not the final one) on floodlit football at this ground, and
the hunt for a new home for Warstones goes on - and where that new home will be will be an interesting one. I for one will
be keeping an eye on this one...
Jaunt No. 28
Barnoldswick Town 4 Coppull United 0
West Lancashire Premier League
Monday, 05/05/08
If you don't already know, my work has
taken me from the comfortable homily climes of Woodseats, to the bustling city centre life of Leeds (all together now - booo!!!).
With this as you'll have noticed the Jaunts Mullarkey has taken a bit of a back seat, obviously Sheffield Club's congested
fixture list has helped see to that as well, and whilst it is all very well driving from my hotel in Leeds all the way to
Colwyn Bay to watch the boys in maroon - doing a similar trip for a neutral game is strictly never going to happen. So with
a heavy heart I had to make the harsh decision to wrap up this column too - it's been fun, but free time is at a premium -
so after this season this will be confined to the archives. Don't get me wrong I'll still be going to some wild and exotic
places (like Church Warsop), but the time to write about them is very limited, and what with work and family life... well
you get it, don't you? The last Jaunts column appeared in the Sheffield FC programme last Thursday, which funnily enough was
the last one I'd written, making for a nice little end to that series - whilst giving me the opportunity to say "the one before
this was the last one to appear..." And as always that game gives me the tie-in to today's little venture, and the subject
in this is county boundaries, and where do you belong? You see the people from the side of that mountain are VERY confused
people... OH YES... as our Mr McCarthy is no doubt willing to let you know, as even they seem confused with where SFC fit
in with local identity. Oh they seem quite happy to tell us we are from Derbyshire, and that they are the best non-league
team in Sheffield (righty-ho), but then forget all that by calling us "Dee-Dahs" - which as anyone from Chesterfield knows...
well why do I bother? And that ties in with the visit for me today; one that has been on the radar for... ooh, since the Jaunts
began... and that is Barnoldswick Town.
Like Club, Barlick (the colloquial term
for Barnoldswick) have had a crisis of county identity for generations, and one of the worst kind. It sits (at the moment)
about half a mile inside the district of Pendle - or Lancashire for those who don't know where that is - a spit away from
the district of Craven - or North Yorkshire to be exact. I remember the County Council reorganisations being talked about
at school in the 70s, and the subject of a few towns being dragged forcibly from the great county of Yorkshire over to the
devil's county of Lancashire, and Barlick was the focus on Calendar - with Austin Mitchell shaking his head in disbelief.
The subject might have past as mere side chat in a city centre secondary school, but out in the foothills of the Pennines
it was a different story, but that all seems to have been forgotten. The town's football team - the one I'm off to tonight
- are still members of the West Riding Football Association, the crests of the town (and club) show both a RED rose and a
WHITE rose, and this is evident wherever you look in this charming little town. But believe me, this town is well and truly
Lancashire, that I can tell you. When Barlick played in the West Riding County Cup last Friday, they took two coach loads
of fans, who took delight in chanting "Lancashire (la, la, la)" throughout. It seems that a generation (or more) has passed
since this town was in Yorkshire, all that history has been forgotten, and judging by the shirts and banners hung in the clubhouse
- Blackburn, Burnley, Accy Stan, Manchester City et al - that half mile might as well be a million...
The choice of league also gives Barlick
an insight to its identity, the West Lancashire League - even though technically it is in the east of the county - and it
also gives me the opportunity to debut a League never featured in this column. It sits more or less at the same level as the
Central Midlands League, with the league feeding into the North West Counties League, but that is where the similarity ends.
Unlike the CMFL, the West Lancs doesn't have as many strict rules regarding grounds and floodlights, with tonight's visitors
Coppull United being one of the few in this league to actually have lights. Barlick's ground is one of the most charming I've
been to, and most definitely the most scenic I've been to this season, but they too are without the mandatory floodlights
that are needed to progress any further. They are of course trying to rectify that one, and are in the process of raising
money through a "floodlight fund", so I can see them moving onwards and upwards in the not-too-distant. The ground (as I said)
is absolutely charming, and is set at the back of the local park - imagine a ground being tucked away at the back corner of
Millhouses Park, Sheffielders - which makes it a bit of a sod to find with a sat-nav. Whilst it may not be the best equipped
ground I've been to, the use of real stone for boundary walls and the covered stand - plus the quality of the more than ample
little clubhouse - it is most certainly one of the most quaint. There isn't much to it to be fair, with a covered (stone-built
as I said) terrace down one side, a covered overhang with about fifty seats by the changing rooms behind the goal, and raised
standing around the sides - not much, but it is enough for this (and higher) levels. And as always with these clubs, the locals
were probably the friendliest I've encountered as a neutral spectator, making you feel as welcome as owt - and more than willing
to drop a fiver in the floodlight fund!
The team were founded as recently as
2003, and seeing as this column was started in 2002, how could they be one of my "targets" for so long? Well that is because
they were part of an amalgamation of two sides - Barnoldswick United and Barnoldswick Park Rovers - and United were the ones
I had my eye on initially. The old ground of Park Rovers is still standing (just), situated in the same park as Town's Slumberland
Stadium (yeah, I know - they are a major employer in this sleepy little town) ground stands now, but as you can guess
it is in a poor state in comparison. Despite the merger Barlick have never really set the West Lancs on fire, and they've
been considered one of the weaker sides in the league, finished next to bottom on more than one occasion. This season also
they've struggled to do anything of note in the league, yes they did well in the county cup, but to be hovering just below
mid-table - well it isn't really good enough. Yet when you look at the potential this club has, both in facilities and catchment
area, it comes as a big surprise. This season they are down the bottom end again, although when you look at their results
you'd have to ask why, sitting twelfth out of sixteen teams. The fact is they haven't picked up a single point against the
top three teams - everyone else, they've done something - and top that off with a four point deduction for playing an illegible
player, if not for this it could be argued they would be pressing near the top instead. But that's all ifs and buts, and today
they wind up their fixture list against Coppull United, a team sitting three places above them in the league. Coppull for
those (like me) who have never heard of the place, is near Chorley, about an hour down the road. Which puts into perspective
the geography of this league - it seems Barnoldswick is out on a limb when you look at the clubs involved - in reality, it
fits in just nicely...
May Day Bank Holiday Monday is
one of those dates which never seem to generate much in the way of football, cricket seems to have taken its talons into this
month, and judging by the weather on the way up it seems right too. The eighty minute run up through Bradford and Keighley
was as leisurely as any this season, the windows down, listening to Newcastle and Chelsea on the radio and staring in dismay
at the five mile queue of traffic coming out of the Lake District. As I said earlier the welcome I got was great, even if
I had to wait for the beer to be switched on (not desperate or owt - it was bloody warm), although the more I thought about
it - the less ideal the whole day seemed suited for football. It's at this stage I'd like to state the game kicked
off at a leisurely pace, but I can't, and both teams went into this like a train. Within the first three minutes Barlick were
one up, as the captain Stewart Airdrie put the ball through to Martin Whittaker who finished easily, and then five minutes
later the keeper lost the ball under his feet from a back-pass allowing Neil Chapman to waltz the ball home. It could and
should have been more, as Chapman's volley rattled the bar, and the home skipper headed tamely at the keeper with the goal
gaping. But don't get me wrong here, Coppull were a useful looking side, and looked as good as the hosts - and in some areas
better. But it's goals that count and on the hour Robbie Smith made it three after some good work, and if it wasn't for the
cross bar (again) and the keeper denying Barlick, it could have been six or seven before the fourth goal eventually went in.
That one came just before the end, and it was a case of "after you Claude" with the Barlick attackers queuing up to finish,
in the end it was Robbie Smith again who put it in the back of the net. And with that Barlick's season came to an end, winning
not just the game, but a lot of friends along the way. No doubt (as I've said so many times before in this column) this team
WILL go on to bigger and better things, the lights will be the first stage, the next who knows? All that is left to be said
is this - whichever one it is, Barnoldswick certainly does their county proud!
Jaunt No. 27
Stratford Town 1 Friar Lane & Epworth 1
Midland Football
Alliance
Wednesday, 14/03/08
It may come as a bit of a surprise to the readers
of this column, but I have always had a bit of a soft spot for Shakespeare - no, really I have. Okay it may be some years
since I've stuck my head in one of his tomes, or for that matter head to a play, but as I say the Bard does leave some fond
memories in my past. I know it sounds corny now, but as a fifteen year old who was seen as a bit of an English Lit nerd I
made a little mark for a day at school, when I was ordered out of a class room for "unnecessary disruption". You see we used
to have this Technical Drawing teacher called Mr Jarvis, and he had an unnatural fixation with pencil, in particular the grade
of pencil you used. I bet you can see where this is going already, can't you? Anyway, one day old Jarvo is doing his usual
stroll around the class and he grabs my writing implement, looks at it and says "Mr James - what is this?" "Pencil, sir!"
"I can see that, but what grade is it?" "2H, sir!" "No... It... Is... NOT! It is a soft pencil; it is used for art, not for
fine lines and definition. Explain yourself young man!" "Sorry sir, I thought it was a 2H, my mistake!" Now my teacher at
this point - as others have testified since - was reaching boiling point, so the last thing he wanted was a petulant pupil
giving him some lip. "IT IS A 2B PENCIL JAMES, YOU KNOW IT, I KNOW IT AND THE CLASS KNOWS IT!!!" I don't like being yelled
at, never have done never will do, but it took a lot of balls to give him the response I did. Seconds after I'd finished saying
the word "question" (to gasps which were a mixture of shock and admiration), Mr Jarvis gave a quote that will live with me
forever - "This is a theatre of isometric projection, side elevations and geometric perspectives - not William Shakespeare
- GET OUT!"
I must have told that story a million times, I still
chuckle to myself now, but it didn't go down too well with my nerves at the time - I dreaded going to tech drawing after that.
That story aside though, going into my adult life I found myself being classed as a bit "odd" for chosing to go watch the
RSC when it came to Sheffield, rather than going out on the lash with the boys. My missus Lynn found it a bit odd too, but
she pandered to that one by joining me, even if she found things a bit "heavy" for her tastes. But she persevered, and topped
it one year by getting premium tickets at the Royal Shakespeare in Stratford, to see the Tempest. I have to say it was one
of my favourites, and one I can relate to, as I was once the rightful Duke of Milan stranded on an island for twelve years
with my daughter... or maybe I wasn't. Anyway, we got best seats in the house, and sat next to Alf Garnett - honestly, Warren
Mitchell - and chatted about the performance over Courvoisiers in the interval. Ah, happy days... but sadly that was the last
time I've been to the wonderful town of Stratford-upon-Avon, except that is to take Liam to the Teletubbies Land thing that
was based there, when he was a toddler before you ask. And equally sadly I've never thought it fitting to visit since, certainly
not for football anyway, the name was always there in the leagues when I browsed down for possibilities - but I never saw
fit to visit. But this season - more precisely this last month or so - the town's team has moved into a new palatial little
ground, and everyone in the non-league fraternity is raving about it. So with a blank Wednesday yet again, it was ripe to
get in the car and head to Warwickshire - "Shakespeare's County"...
Before I go on, I must apologise to the people of Stratford
for having the immediate link with the Bard, they must be sick of it. I bet there isn't one single article about this ground
that doesn't have a pun, or a play on words, involving the title of one of the man's works. Imagine reading a report on Sheffield
and coming across "they managed to 'steel' it, or "Sheffield showed they could go the Full Monty", it makes you say stuff
like "yeah, yeah, very good and imaginative". So I'll try not to give this any further mention, and concentrate on what I'm
led to believe is a very progressive little club, who could be up with us in a few years. The fact I'd never been in the past
is almost inexcusable, but I emphasise ALMOST, as it is well outside the agreed Jaunts radar. In fact it is almost twice the
normal acceptable run for me, but it seems as Sheffield's foray into the world of the UniBond makes away games so much further
away, the more adventurous I seem to be getting with the games in-between. And with this I seem to coming more in contact
with people from the south of Luton, which doesn't make me the most comfortable of bunnies, especially when this contact is
with those from the groundhopping fraternity. Even so, as I said I'd heard nice things about Stratford's new Knights Lane
ground, with a blank Wednesday I was willing to take a chance and head down there. Coincidentally my colleague at Belper had
similar ideas on the night, so a meet with him would make me a little easier, little did I think that it would cross the minds
of several others - but more on that later...
For years Stratford has played at Masons Road, although
it has to be said in a couple of guises, following their reformation in 1998. Before that they were Stratford Rangers - then
Town - but as they fell into financial difficulties, they rose from the flames as a new incarnation. They were founder members
of the Midland Alliance, and they've remained there ever since, with their best performance coming the year after their worst
- 1998/99 was a very significant time for Stratford it seems. The last couple of season has seen them in a state of transition,
they've been ground sharing with Solihull Moors, which is quite some distance for the home support to travel. So with the
building of the new ground - well, you could say they are home, and let the good time roll! Even then it isn't in the centre
of Stratford, it is a few miles out of town in a little village called Tiddington, but it seems the new set up has captured
the imagination of the local populace. It isn't just a football ground; it is a community based project, with a multi-pitch
complex and social facilities for budding players of all ages. When I arrived the whole place was buzzing, with just about
everyone of the Astroturf pitches in use and the car park (which isn't small by any means) absolutely jammed full, and that
wasn't anything to do with the evening's spectators. When I got in the bar however, well as I said, more on that later...
They've been getting around the hundred mark through
the gates over the last few seasons, with the usual exceptions when the "big" clubs like Leamington or Atherstone are in town,
so how many they were going to get through the gate at Knights Lane was always going to be the benchmark of how good things
were going to be. The first game at the new ground drew a pretty impressive 411, and given the away team was Barwell (who
it has to be said aren't the biggest crowd pullers in the league), it was a pretty promising figure. The challenge was going
to be how many they drew afterwards, and could they keep the locals interested, and given the numbers in the car-park - well
it looked as though the battle for spectators was being won. The attraction of this fixture was that again the away team wouldn't
be adding that many in the way of travelling support, and seeing as the novelty of the first game had worn off, the glory-hunters
and interested parties from the groundhopping fraternity would have already been and done it. A walk into the bar gave me
the indication I was wrong, it was snided with a right bunch of... well fill in your blank... and it seemed none of them were
interested in buying a round. Don't get me wrong, everyone is entitled to their own method of whittling the time away to kick
off, but the fact that at least fifty of these individuals had piled into the bar without buying as much as a bag of crisps
just seemed wrong. I could carry on the rant - but I won't - there's more to tell about more important things here...
The thing that I noticed first about the ground when
we got in was how similar it seemed to Garforth Town, yes really Garforth Town, but then again it was nothing like it. Sounds
strange this doesn't it? But indulge me a moment, as for those of you that have been to Garforth will start to appreciate
this, that the strange things that make Mr Clifford's ground unique are pretty much in the same here. It's the roof of the
stand that hits you first, the way the roof is elevated unnecessarily too high above the seats is the thing I'm on about,
and Stratford has the same feature. Okay so you don't have the great panoramic view of the pitch as you do at Wheatley Park,
as the stand is more or less at pitch level, but it is still a nice little facility. The whole ground has that "wet-paint"
feel to it, and other than the bar and stand, the ground is more or less a blank canvas (again like Garforth) waiting to be
filled. One thing it does have as an advantage over Garforth is the catering, I never actually ever cast judgment over clubs'
catering - but face it Garforth's kitchen efforts are rubbish - but Stratford do a cracking line in their canteen, with the
curry a must for all those who want their cockles warming up on a night like tonight.
And what a night it was, the wind was howling a gale,
and to say it was a bit "inclement" was a bloody understatement. By rights though that should have had very little bearing
on the outcome of this contest, the visitors Friar Lane and Epworth should have been a walkover, especially given the fact
they were on the receiving end of a 5-1 home trouncing earlier in the season. One thing I could sympathise though with was
that Stratford hadn't played a game for two and a half weeks, so you'd expect a bit of rustiness, but when Jerome Grandison
slotted past the visiting keeper after four minutes it boded well for a bright night's football. Again - as has happened so
many times in the past - all first impressions and omens went all pear-shaped. Stratford could not break down their Leicestershire
opponents, and if anything it looked like Friar Lane would turn things around, and possibly give me a shock result to write
about. Early in the second half they got their just desserts; a free-kick was headed back across the goal, and was smashed
home by Dan Hodgkinson. That was it as far as scoring was concerned, with Stratford really flattering to deceive, and their
support getting really frustrated with their thwarted efforts.
One subject I never touched on was where Stratford actually
sit in the table, sadly I have to finish on the note that they aren't doing that great, they are mid-table just above half
way. They won't get promoted this season, that's too much to ask, but I do have a sneaking feeling about this club. They seem
to have the potential for a helluva lot of commercial backing from the townsfolk, there isn't much in the way of sport going
on in the vicinity, and the time is ripe with the new stadium to get in there and fill their boots. So you know what comes
next in this final paragraph, don't you? I reckon that Stratford Town will make mincemeat of the Midland Football Alliance
in the next year or two, I'm not so sure which yet though, and they'll do what good ol' Sheffield FC have done and get their
foot on the next rung of the ladder. Take that prediction As You Like It, this is one Winter's Tale that should not end as
a Comedy of Errors, and believe me when I say in this case Measure for Measure - Alls Well That Ends Well... I'll get me coat
Mr Jarvis...
Jaunt No. 26
Stanton Ilkeston 3 Welbeck Welfare 3
Central Midlands
Premier Division
Wednesday, 05/03/08
A short while ago I wrote about my "fondness" for good
old South Normanton Athletic, how they were always my sure fire banker in time of inclement weather, and how they let me down
with a shock postponement this winter. Well I always had it in my diary to get back there this season, even though it had
been visited on more than one occasion by myself, and by probably a fair old number of people who read these very pages. So
it's nothing new really, but as I said I was always going to be going back there this season, and as it may (or may not) surprise
you it wasn't to see the Shiners. No, this story starts back in the annals of history as far as I'm concerned, when talking
about non-league football especially. The date in question when this little tale begins is the 4th of May 2002, and chasing
for the title of the lower division of the Central Midlands League were three teams, all of whom will look back on this day
with a bit of a mixed nostalgia. The third place team had no real chance of winning the league, they'd ballsed that up a week
earlier by losing twice in three days to mid-table teams, but they were at home to the one team who could catch and overtake
the team at the top. The team at the top had what on paper looked like an easy-ish game against the team in eighth place,
and seeing as they were sitting in a kind of positional limbo in the table (couldn't catch seventh, couldn't be caught by
eighth), it looked like a bit of a shoo-in for the champions-elect. What I failed to mention was May the 4th was also the
day of the FA Cup Final, and despite both away teams in this scenario wanted to move the game earlier, both home teams wouldn't
relent. The outcome thus turned out to be an anti-climax, third place beat second place 9-0 with the away team fielding a
much weakened side, and the champions won their game 6-0 against an equally weakened opposition...
The third place team beat Hallam 8-0 last night, good
old Dinnington; I still have a soft spot for them. The team Dinno beat was Barton Town, a team who've not done too bad for
themselves since then, sitting in the NCEL Division One mid-table. The champions were a team I visited for the first time
that day, little realising that they would become our fiercest rivals in the brave new world of the UniBond, yes - it WAS
Retford Town... I mean United, sorry. So three of the four teams who were the focus of the CMFL world have done really well
for themselves, but what of the fourth team, who were they and what became of them? Well the team was Stanton Ilkeston, and
little was I to know at that time, but that was to become their LAST fixture as a CMFL team. That season saw them plummet
from a pretty prominent position in the table, they were top at one point, but they managed to lose something like their last
six or seven on the bounce - including some pretty embarrassing scorelines. It appeared that Stanton were being oiked out
of their home at the Stute in Hallam Fields, onto a lesser playing field which didn't meet the League's minimum requirements,
and with financial costs spiralling their players were quick to move on to newer plains. After that the "Ironmen" moved into
the lesser leagues of the Notts Amateur Alliance, plodding along with no real direction, and only troubling the top of the
table nothing more. In truth it was a sad sight to see a team that had won back-to-back titles falling on such hardship, so
when their name made a reappearance in the 2007/08 CMFL constitution, well lets just say I was pleased. For one I'd never
been to Hallam Fields, but sadly I wasn't going to get there - this season at least - as for some reason they would be sharing
home with South Normanton...
Which I have to say is strange, given that the distance
between their former home and here is seventeen miles; it isn't what you'd call a local ground sharing arrangement. But share
they do, and even though I've heard word spoken that this incarnation of Stanton is just a glorified version of Normo's reserves,
it is still a team I'd planned to see again this season. As before they've taken their place in the Premier Division of the
CMFL, and looking at the season so far, it hasn't been such a successful return to the league. The thing that has caused most
ructions has been the number of postponements the team has had, especially given that miraculously on more than one occasion
South Normanton have managed to get a game on the same pitch a mere 72 hours after the cancelled game, a coincidence maybe
- but still one that had conspiracy theorists muttering darkly. Stanton have had a bit of a mixed bag to be fair, so the cancellations
have added a bit of a millstone for them in an already difficult season, something I'm sure we at Sheffield can sympathise
with. But despite having a pretty barren patch of results, leaving them rooted in the re-election zone, they've also managed
to pull out the hat some amazing wins over teams from the promotion places. So it's obvious the team has got some potential,
the problem is will this be too little to save them from losing their place, I sincerely hope they get to grips and get a
few more wins under their belts to pull them safely away from the bottom. The one positive thing for them is that from their
remaining twelve fixtures, NINE are at home, and all bar three of those games are against teams from the bottom half of the
table...
But what does home advantage mean to them? I've always
wondered whether that supposition holds much water for a team that shares with someone else, I mean it's home - but then again
it isn't. But what about "home"? Well I have to admit it must be a few seasons since I was at Lees Lane, and back then the
Shiners were playing in the CMFL as well, but have managed a couple of promotions to be playing THIS season in the league
we were in this time last year. So to get to that level I would have expected some massive improvements, especially seeing
as the last time I was down here the ground had a couple of "sheds", and seating consisted of half a dozen comfy sofas behind
the goal. That has all changed now, what with the addition of a vast expanse of concrete hard-standing, so vast it could double
as a cycle track around the oval perimeter. Behind the goal has seen the addition of not one, but two banks of seats, very
impressive I must admit - but tonight I very much doubt they would be used too much. Tonight I would be amazed if the attendance
exceeded fifty, which also begs the question "why would you need to groundshare at such a large ground"; it is nice - but
very wasted on a level like this. That by the way is not meant to be an insult to this level, it just doesn't draw the numbers
through the gates, never mind how good or exciting the football is. And exciting I expect it to be, 'cos Welbeck are in town,
and when Welbeck come to town - goals will surely follow. Yes - as I've said before - Welbeck score goals for fun, and concede
just as many. Their average scoring rate so far this season works out at three goals per game, conversely their conceding
rate is three per game, so I'll expect tonight to be goal-less then...
I was joined for this one by a legend in the "Football
Adventurer" world, Mr David Woodings, who has seen football in more countries than I could care to mention. After this game
he was heading off for a weekend trip to Turkey of all places, to visit Galatasaray, Genclerbirligi and some others - just
another weekend of football as far as he was concerned. Anyway, we were treated to an end-to-end game, full of incident and
controversy. It didn't take too long for the scoring to get going, about ten minutes in a Lee Edmondson had put the visitors
one up, and after some typically free-flowing Welbeck football that had Stanton stretched at the back. But then that abandon
left them frail at the back, and as expected Stanton got level, with a well taken penalty from captain Russ Foster. Naturally
Welbeck went up the other end and retook the lead, again making it look really easy, this time it was Carl Haslem who put
the ball home. Just before half time it started to bubble under, and some robust tackles from both sides gave the impression
it was about to explode, and it did - big style. Stanton forward Luke Slaney took one too many kicks to the back of the legs
by a Welbeck defender, he turned and swiped a couple of slaps in return, and... well you can guess the rest. A mass brawl
involving all players from both sides, both benches, and a couple of selected spectators who decided they were going to leap
the fences. Luckily sense prevailed, the dust settled, and the two protagonists were shown red - but they still managed to
nag at each other all the way to the changing rooms. After the restart Stanton got level - again - this time Sam Potter showed
composure to score. But as expected Welbeck would get back into the lead, they did through Murphy, and with time running out
it looked as if they'd done enough. But in the dying seconds of the game Welbeck relaxed, and rising to head home from a last
ditch corner was Foster again, amazingly Stanton had rescued a point.
So it proves Stanton has it on the pitch to do the business,
they showed resilience and spirit to get the vital point, and as I said the season will pan out as a scrap to avoid the bottom
four. But will they be around next season? That I can't say to be sure, if they aren't a feeder (or reserve) team to South
Normo, then I wonder how they are going to make ends meet to compete in such an arena. The headcount for tonight was about
twenty - and several of those had blagged it in for nothing - but having said that there were no players wages to pay I guess,
so I don't think that should have a massive impact on the financial side. Either way, it would be nice to see them return
to their spiritual home at Hallam Fields, but when that is - if ever - remains to be seen.
Jaunt No. 25
Stone Old Alleynians 2 Punjab United Sports 2
West Midlands
Regional League Division Two &
Barlaston 0 Eccleshall AFC 1
Staffordshire Senior Premier League
Saturday, 23/02/08
At
the beginning of the season I was in a beer-fuelled conversation with my mate Neil from Belper Town, and as usual we tend
to we wander off into the realms of where we are going to head off to when our respective teams aren't playing, we ended up
concocting some interesting (and sometimes silly) little ventures to places we both fancied going to. The best of these always
turns out to be the "double-header", you know the one where you manage to see more than one game in a day, and after all it
is what groundhoppers aspire to - even if we don't class ourselves in this little pigeon hole. The trouble with the double
header is usually down to logistics, and more than anything coincidence, as you have to find two teams that play close enough
to each other to get from one full time to the start of the next game. Organised Groundhops are renowned for making these
coincidences come true, as clubs tend to comply with requests to change kick off times to suit the logistics, and they draw
in huge (by normal standards) attendance figures with people flocking from all over the country. So it makes for a clever
little game of trying to mastermind one of these days out, and even better if no one has mentioned this on any of the usual
forums, because once that happens - well, they are there in their droves! Anyway, as you can guess recently flavour of the
month is Staffordshire, and the conversation came around to Springbank Park - home of Stone Dominoes. Now whether you know
this or not I don't know, but Stone no longer play at that ground where they beat us in that FA Vase tie, they have moved
lock, stock and barrel to Yarnfield - a village the other side of Stone - and it is home to not one, not two, not even three
teams. It is home to FIVE football teams, four of them are senior teams, the other is Port Vale's Youth side - surely that
is a double header waiting to happen...
The way Springfield Park is laid out means that it would only be possible to
see Stone Dominoes if they kicked off after the full time whistle of one of the other team's games, they play their games
at a fully enclosed and screened "stadium", so initially that ruled them out. So it meant that we would have to find a day
where two of the three other tenants were at home, and hope that there would be a staggered kick off at each, meaning that
two of either Stallington, Barlaston (both of the Staffordshire League) or Stone Old Alleynians (of the West Midlands Regional
League) would have to be at home - plus the added condition neither myself or Neil would be working on that day. As it turned
out it took until February for this chance to turn up, and when it did it was with Barlaston and Old Alleynians who would
do the honours, with the added bonus that Barlaston would be kicking off at 2.00 pm and Old Alleynians at 2.30 pm. The premise
was this - we could easily watch the first thirty minutes of one, watch the first thirty minutes of the next, the last thirty
minutes of the first (again) and the last thirty minutes of the other - in plain and simple terms we would watch the start
and end of both games, whilst taking in sixty minutes (or so) of each game. Sounds simple doesn't it? Well here's the thing,
two days before we were due to set off on this mini adventure, I found out that Barlaston had decided on a 2.30 pm kick off
as well - no reasoning why, they just did. There was no reason in reality for either of them to kick off any earlier than
3.00 pm anyway, as it has been light well past 5.00 pm for the last few weeks now, but nevertheless they did. So this threw
up some more interesting problems as to how this was going to work, but we'll come to that later...
Normally when I
get to this point in a "Jaunts" I start to talk about the ground and the teams, but there are FOUR teams to talk about today,
so I guess I'll have to be brief. Right then, the ground: Springfield Park is on the outskirts of the lovely canal town of
Stone, situated between Stoke-on-Trent and Stafford. It is (as I said before) in the village of Yarnfield, and a pretty impressive
little complex it is, set up and maintained by the Springbank Vending owner Mr Bob Bowers. The complex is home to the stadium
(home to Stone Dominoes of the NWCFL), three full size pitches (each fully railed and with hard standing), a training pitch
and a couple of kiddie-sized pitches with mini nets. Each pitch is sufficient in standard to enter at Central Midlands Premier
Level, and each has properly built dug-outs and surfaces that many in the UniBond would kill for, all in all it is a great
location for football. On top of this there is a pavilion serving Springbank's finest hot drinks, with a nice little summer
terrace, and a beer garden to boot. We arrived at the ground far too early, the run down from Derby had been a doddle to say
the least, so we were the first non-players at the ground - which I guess caught the lady behind the counter a little unawares,
especially as we started to tuck into the beer and oatcakes on offer. One dilemma I guess they do have is admission charges,
which I have to say - whilst not exactly compulsory - is expected. But if two games are on at the same time, as there must
be on more than one occasion, how do they take admission? The answer to that is they sell programmes in lieu of admission,
so with two games to watch, well let's just say the groundhopper fraternity will be in paradise when this news surfaces...
The first of our hosts to cover I guess is the most senior,
Stone Old Alleynians who were formed in 1962, they've spent much of their history in the Staffordshire League but this season
have decided to join the West Midlands Regional League - currently they sit at the top of a very tight Division Two table.
Just recently they have been banging the goals in for fun, in fact they have hit home TWENTY-SIX in their last four games,
and given their visitors Punjab United (no relation to the team from Derby I covered a few years ago) have been shipping them
in at the back, this one has goals galore written all over it. The visitors for this one have had to come a fair old way from
Wolverhampton, and though there was no previous form to go on between these two teams, you had to feel it was going to be
a hard journey back for them. And that leaves Barlaston, who used to play at the home of posh pottery, Wedgewood Sports and
Social Club in the village. They shared there with the village's cricket team, until that is they decided to move into the
newly refurbished Springfield Park, along with everyone else. So far they've been sitting mid-table this season, so with their
visitors Eccleshall AFC (the second team of Eccleshall FC in all but name) languishing at the foot of the table, it doesn't
bode well for a very good high scoring game - in fact the two teams have managed a paltry 29 goals each, an average of just
over one a game. I guess you can gather which one will probably get more attention, but I have been known to be surprised
in the past, so I wouldn't put it past this one being the best game of the season...
So, how's this going to work
then? Right, between the two pitches is a vantage point that makes both games 100% visible, with no obstructions or distractions.
Remembering the fact that in a majority of games there are lengthy periods of midfield possession, which in other words means
not a great deal of excitement is going on, this gives the opportunity to "half focus" solely on the other game. The ball
goes out of play, swivel head to watch the other, and so on. From the findings of my questions to a whole host of football
watchers, it "counts" as seeing a game if the following criteria can be ticked; you see the kick off and full time whistle
blown, you see all the goals and all the major incidents, you can tell someone else what went on in the game and you know
the full time score. There are others, and when you look at that list above you have to ask yourself, "how many games have
I really seen anyway?" How many times have you missed a goal by nipping to the loo? Yet, because you missed that goal, does
that mean you weren't there? Or for those who are slaves to traffic, how many have rolled in late - or even worse - left a
game early to beat the traffic? The best analogy of this would be like watching a real-life Sky Multi-View, with more than
one game going on at the same time, but your focus is switched between which is the most interesting game. In theory it SHOULD
work, but as they say "the proof is in the pudding", and instead of doing a match summary as normal I've decided a time log
of events would be a better way to catalogue the day's football...
Okay, Pitch One to our left - Stone Alleynians versus
Punjab United Sports; Pitch Two to the right - Barlaston versus Eccleshall.
14:29 - Pitch One is kicking off, so tick number
one in the box, meanwhile they are still faffing about on Pitch Two waiting for the referee (who was late).
14:31 - Pitch
Two eventually gets under way, whilst on the other pitch Punjab are looking shaky at the back, I reckon that goal avalanche
is coming.
14:33 - A wayward attempt on Pitch Two sails pathetically out of the ground, allowing us to concentrate fully
on Pitch One, which is great as Stone's relentless pressure pays of with the first goal of the afternoon - a floated cross
is headed just inside the post. Stone 1 Punjab 0.
14:50 - Still nothing to report from Pitch Two, which frankly is not
a very good game at all, but on Pitch One some hopelessly misplaced passes allow Punjab's leading scorer Daljinder Bassi through
on goal one-on-one and slot home. Stone 1 Punjab 1.
15:15 - Half time on Pitch One, an entertaining half of football which
has seen Punjab frustrate the hosts beyond belief, a fine effort indeed and one that pleases the travelling contingent.
15:16
- Referee blows on Pitch Two, which is not an opinion of his performance, but could sum up a very dull half of football in
the Staffordshire County Senior League.
15:29 - Pitch One players are the first to emerge from the dressing rooms, and
their game gets back under way first again, seconds after Neil emerges from the bar with yet more beer.
15:32 - And Eccleshall
restart the game on Pitch Two.
15:44 - Drama on Pitch One! A hopeful punt into the box sees a Stone player rise to head
with a Punjab player, looks clumsy and the referee points to the spot shouting "HANDBALL, PENALTY!" I ask the linesman what
the referee has seen, he replies "I don't really know". Daljinder Bassi steps up and scores his second, shock scoreline -
Stone 1 Punjab 2. Still nothing on Pitch Two...
16:07 - Getting feisty on Pitch Two (at last) as two players collide into
the corner flag, minor mêlée ensues between the two resulting in flag being ripped from pole; we point this out to the immensely
rotund lino who replies "not bothered, it ain't mine!" Class assistant referees we have today, it has to be said...
16:10
- A corner is awarded on Pitch One for Stone, and with the wind picking up they whip it in to the middle, the Punjab keeper
had to be at his best to stop it going directly in. From the next corner the ball is scrambled over the line and it's all
on. Stone 2 Punjab 2. Meanwhile on Pitch Two, erm... nothing much happening. Glad we didn't come to watch THAT game on its
own!
16:15 - Bloody hell! Eccleshall venture into the Barlaston half, whack the ball across the face of the goal and stooping
at the back post is substitute Danny Herd to head home, giving one moment of drama in the whole game. Barlaston 0 Eccleshall
1.
16:16 - Referee blows for full time on Pitch Two, and not before time, that wasn't the most entertaining ninety minutes
I've ever witnessed - a shock result nonetheless.
16:18 - Pitch One had seen a few delays, what with the protests and such
with the penalty, so it wasn't a surprise to find the game that started first ended last. The referee blows for full time,
and the experiment is over, two games - two surprise results.
Well to be honest that was interesting, it certainly
wasn't as confusing and hard to follow as I thought; however if the Barlaston game had as much about it as the Alleynians'
game we would have had an issue. As expected the Alleynians game was clearly the better of the two, although not for the reasons
predicted, whilst the late winner for Eccleshall made that game the more dramatic. I have to say it added a whole new spin
on the saying "I watched a right old game and a half today!" Now before I finished typing this up, I decided to post the games
on a forum of the "where did you go on..." groundhopping type thread, and surprisingly I got very little in the way of reaction
or response. Not that I expected any, which is why when I got up on Sunday morning, turned on my lap-top and checked my inbox
I was stunned to see what kind of reaction it had provoked. Funnily enough (in a world where the non-league "snob" rules supreme),
not one of them scoffed at the fact it was physically impossible to see two games at once, in fact the reaction was one of
"why hadn't we thought of that?" So to summarise, an idea that was just a mess about by two people who had probably one drink
too many has probably unleashed an idea onto the groundhopping world which wants just that, lots of football - and programmes
to boot. I don't think I'll be trying it again in the near future, but I have to leave with this - Yarnfield, lock up yer
daughters, there's a storm coming...
Jaunt No. 24
PSV Eindhoven 2 Helsingborgs 0
UEFA
Cup Third Round
Wednesday, 13/02/08
Onlangs heb ik geprobeerd om het Nederlands
te leren. Wanneer ik "onlangs" zeg, beteken ik twee jaar. Ik ben nog niet zeer goed, maar het is een zeer moeilijke te leren
taal. Mijn "leraar" is een collega op het werk geroepen Cabbi geweest - een Feyenoord Fan. Ik heb nooit naar Holland in het
verleden gereist, zodat was ik benieuwd hoe ik aan de taal het hoofd zal bieden. Ik ben zeer goed bij het zweren...
Honestly it IS a hard language, the biggest problem for me is how to pronounce the letter "G", which
is like bringing phlegm from the back of your throat. Anyway, a good percentage of the population of the Netherlands is pretty
good at speaking English, so apart from spotting whether they are calling me names behind my back - I doubt I'll get much
practice - but if the insults start flying, well watch me go.
As I said (trust me, it's
up there at the top) I've never been to Holland, so the whole premise of a Valentine's Day in Amsterdam, coupled with a half-term
break in Brugge and Brussels is all new to me. My "teacher" had been bugging me for a while to head over to the land of the
kaas-kop, mainly trying me to go and see how prachtig Rotterdam is, but seeing as it's about as charming
as Hull - we thought we'd do the tourist bit first and go to the "Dam". Brugge on the other hand is like a second home to
us - well it would be, I'm married to a chocoholic - and Brussels... well it I just needed to get it out of my system. So
the family all agreed on an itinerary, we read up on what to do and what to see, but naturally when it comes to Liam and myself
there just had to be football in there somewhere...
Now as someone who's been
to football in many nations, I've never had any real trouble getting hold of tickets for anywhere, it was just a case of chosing
the right time and the right game. This time however, the football was a lowly second to a well needed family break, and the
fact it was going to be midweek added a new dimension to affairs - would there be any games on? To tell the truth I had no
idea it would be so hard trying to find a single game anywhere in TWO countries, midweek football it seems is not the done
thing on the continent, except for cup competitions and (of course) European football. So with the hotels booked and everything
settled, it was time to scour the net to try and find some game - ANY game - that was on during that period. Luckily for us
this particular midweek was earmarked for UEFA Cup football, and that meant that there were two in the region that were still
in the competition, Anderlecht and PSV. Knowing that Anderlecht was nigh on impossible to get tickets for these days, even
though we were in Brussels on the day of the game, meant that our likely destination was going to be Eindhoven. Now all we
had to do was get tickets...
Okay, so how hard is it to
get tickets for a game of football? Well I'm sure you'll say it depends on the opposition, well normally I'd say you'd be
right, so why would you have trouble getting tickets against a team from bloody Sweden then? Easy explanation - hooliganism
- Holland has had some dreadful problems down the years with the "English Disease", with Feyenoord being expelled from European
footy for that very same reason. The way they have combated this is through a scheme called "Clubcard", which effectively
is an I.D card that affiliates you to one club for the season, enabling you to sit with supporters of that team and (in some
cases) allows you to buy tickets for neutral games in specially allocated areas. It sounds good, and is good, if you go to
watch Dutch top level football on a regular basis. But what do you do if you are in my position? I'm neutral, I don't give
a rat's arse about inter-club rivalries, Ajax, PSV, Feyenoord, ADO Den Haag, je bent klootzak as far as I'm bothered
- or maybe not, I don't care. I have no favourites in Holland, sure I have a soft spot for Ajax (and I also look out for a
certain amateur team's results from the town of Spakenburg) and Liam likes Feyenoord because Cabbi supports them, but a solitary
team I want to go to year in year out - I don't think so. Effectively this is a token outlay (€5.00 per year), but as
I said it is far from ideal to have to go through the whole rigmarole just to get tickets for a game against second rate opposition,
it basically left us with two alternatives. The first is turning up on spec, head to the ticket office, hope it isn't a sell-out
(plus they sell them on the day, which isn't always the case) and hope they'll sell them to the stomme toeristen
(stupid tourists). The second is use your contacts...
My mate Neil has contacts
in Holland, Belper Town have links with DVV Duiven, and through this "brotherhood" he's managed to get to games with his dad
at just about everywhere that matters in Dutch Football. So he decided to put me in touch with a guy (Theo De Reus) who runs
a local publicity and communications business, he in turn put me in touch with another guy (Theo Gieling) who is a hotelier
and member of the PSV Business Club, who happily agreed to get me the tickets. Job done! There is however a third option of
getting the tickets, I forgot to mention this earlier, but it is appropriate to mention it to give you some kind of idea how
exploitative teams can get when they realise how hard it is for Johnny Foreigner to get tickets. PSV offer a "package" that
allows overseas fans to get to games at the Philips Stadion, this little "deal" costs a paltry €100 for a Dutch League
game, for a game in Europe that rises steadily to €170 - EACH! Including kids! And I can't just single out PSV in this
score, the rest of the big three do it too, and it wouldn't surprise me to see that the rest of the Eredivisie did the same.
I wouldn't mind to be fair, but when you look at where these tickets are for, then you have to ask are you getting your money's
worth? Either way I was assured the tickets were in a "good place", and I was to meet Theo (the second one - the hotel bloke.
Yes I know it does get confusing) outside the ground, where we would meet up and exchange "wares"...
I got an e-mail from Theo (the first one, the press guy) arranging the meeting in Eindhoven, he explained
it was easy because "Eindhoven is a small town, with a small hospital, a small church, a small railway station and (of course)
a small football team". I figured he must be an Ajax fan, but I have to concede he was right about Eindhoven (apart from the
team that is), it is small and kind of quaint - a bit like a European cross between York and Rotherham - with a very nice
church. Seeing as we'd sacked Brussels as an idea for tourism very quickly (what a shit-hole) we found ourselves parked in
Eindhoven very early, so we thought we'd try some local cuisine at a little restaurant opposite the aforementioned church,
enjoying some pretty good Kung Po Chicken. Alright, so it was a Chinese Restaurant, we were saving the pannekoeken
for Amsterdam. After a while Theo (number two) rang me, they would meet me at the stadion one hour before kick-off,
the tickets were a "go" then. An hour before kick-off we were outside the ground, having spent thirty minutes and a small
fortune in the club shop, with a very disgruntled twelve year old demanding to know why we wouldn't spend €50.00 for
a replica "vintage" football for him. The phone rang, it was Theo (number two) wanting to know where we were, he was outside
the club shop as agreed, where was I? Turns out we were at completely the opposite end of the ground, who'd have thought there
were two club shops, what are the chances of that at a top European Club?
We finally met up and exchanged
"wares", and I have to say I found Theo and his companion to be very affable blokes, even though their English was only a
little bit better than my Dutch. To add a little "extra" to the ticket deal, he arranged for us to enjoy a bit of the corporate
hospitality in the PSV Business Club suite, and very nice it was too. In this plush little environment we were surrounded
by the ex-greats of PSV, of whom I'd heard of approximately... erm, none of them! Yep, Mr International Football Expert showed
himself up to be a right ignoramus when it comes to Dutch football, and even more of a prat when the team sheets were handed
round. I knew only one solitary player out of both sides, and he was in the Helsingborg team, their captain Henrik Larsson
- "hij is Feyenoord!" "nee, hij is Celtic!" - and Liam wasn't much more help. When the guys asked him if HE knew
any Dutch players, he came up with a few, all of them Feyenoord players - so I guess you could say we made a great impression,
but seeing as I'm the last person you'd stick in the "good ambassador" role, you shouldn't be surprised. Overall though we
enjoyed the respite from the outside temperatures, which as it turned out had dropped to a pretty chilly -8°c, but that we
knew would be just a temporary respite...
Holland has leaped bounds
in terms of spectator comfort in the past decade, they have tried everything possible to put football hooliganism to rest,
so it should come as no surprise that PSV would be one of those leading the way. Outside the stadium, it looks like it's been
dropped from outer space, with a big modern exterior giving the impression of luxury. Inside it looks to be no different to
many grounds in the Championship - Ipswich, Norwich, even Everton I guess - very similar to those of that ilk, but add to
that dirty great big television screens around the ground giving the Big Match build up (which I understood, for a change)
plus heaters in the stands. Yes, that's right, it is a standard in Dutch grounds to have big industrial heaters built into
the underside of the stand roofs. It makes for an unusual environment to see this, or experience it for the first time, you
are wrapped up for a night in the cold only to come into a comfortable temperature. It's a bit weird, a bit like going to
the Arena or something; Lynn loved it - especially being of the nesh persuasion. It also adds an eerie perspective on such
an unbearably cold night such as this, as the warmth of the stadium collides with the cold of the outside, making a weird
fog hover at roof level. It looks as though it has its own weather system, with a cloud permanently hanging above the play,
and if a ball was kicked high enough it would completely disappear from view. So thick was this fog, it was impossible to
see the Helsingborg fans in the away section; you could hear them - but see them? Not a chance...
So there we were, warm comfortable,
in very decent seats. The crowd was very atmospheric on three sides, the odd one out being ours - far too civilised to join
in with that riff-raff - and we settled down for a good night's football. The game kicked off with a certain amount of abandon,
with both sides throwing everyone forward from the off, and after just a little over five minutes we were
treated to the first goal of the night. I'm going to try not to use the words "dive" or "con" in the description of the build
up, but PSV's forward Danko Lazović took the ball round Swedish keeper Daniel Andersson, the Serbian International then
dived and conned the Cypriot referee into giving a penalty and booking the keeper. Sorry, I tried - I failed - he cheated.
The skipper Timmy Simons stepped up and scored, and at least we'd continued our trend of never having seen a goal-less match
abroad, even if it was a dodgy penalty. Helsingborgs' Beninese striker Razak Omotoyossi had a couple of scorable chances,
but he set his stall out as being the "crap player" we always see on these outings, and PSV's Portuguese goalie Gomes came
out on top each time. PSV extended their lead in the 33rd minute moments after Ibrahim Afellay hit the post, he unleashed
a powerful shot on target that Andersson failed to hold and Lazovic pounced on the rebound, blasting home from close range.
At 2-0 that was the end of the night's scoring, Helsingborgs tried to push forward to grab a vital away goal, but failed on
each occasion - leaving Henrik looking a rather frustrated looking figure...
After the game we headed back to the car-park, and despite losing the bloody thing (failing rule
#1 of car-parking - remember where you left it) we were still out of the car park before the mass of PSV fans who seemed to
fail to grasp the concept of looking for another pay-machine, when there is another one a couple of flights of stairs up!
And they were probably still queuing when we missed the motorway exit, probably still there when we were reversing up at speed
after taking the wrong slip road, and probably still there when we were pulled over by the police... except, luckily for us
that was to let the Swedish fans' coaches have safe passage to the motorway and not to receive a well earned ticket! Overall
though it was a highly enjoyable evening, and thanks to the two Theos for getting it on for us, but I reckon it'll be the
last dip into Dutch top level football for a while. We will however be heading to the Netherlands again shortly, in October
I reckon, and hopefully we'll be watching that team from Spakenburg I was on about. And until then, Tot straks Holland...
Jaunt No. 23
Halifax Town 4 Ossett Albion 1
West Riding County Cup Quarter Finals
Wednesday 06/02/08
At what stage do you consider someone to be "a big club"?
I know in comparison to Sheffield FC you could consider anyone higher in the pyramid "big", whereas put your United or Wednesday
(or Chesterfield) hats on and you will then start talking anyone in the Premier League; me as a Luton fan - well I consider
anyone other than the Hatters a big club. Even when we were in the top division, I always took a bit of perverse pride in
being a "small club", especially when in arguments with fans of the local clubs ("you get 20,000 disappointed punters
each week, you'd think they'd see sense sooner or later" et cetera) who came up with the "shit ground, no fans" statement.
Since I've started watching Club - nearly ten years soon folks - and more recently since I've been "jaunting", I've come across
teams who are giants in the non-league world, who I seriously envy. But there are still teams who are at a higher level than
Club, some a helluva lot higher, who I absolutely pity. Teams who draw less crowds than Sheffield, teams that play at worse
grounds than the BFS, and teams that are up to their necks in debt and the future looks bleak to say the least. Some have
had tradition and pride beyond recognition, some are "fly by nights", others though are household names. Take Halifax Town
for instance; this is a team that sits in a place in the pyramid us at Sheffield can only dream of, yet I wouldn't swap our
lives with theirs...
Even going back to my youth I always considered Halifax as
"one of those teams", you know they sat at the bottom of Division Four with Hartlepool, Rochdale, Darlington and the like
waiting in trepidation for the re-election process that would see some poor unfortunate drop into non-league. Seriously I
can never picture them anywhere else but in the dregs of Division Four, and my old Shoot Magazine League Ladder always
had them trying to defy the gravitational pull of last place, which (as you all know) has a lasting impression on a young
lad. They were never featured on telly, yet each week they were there, trotting out on a weekend and (more often than not)
losing. In the late 70's I actually got to the Shay, not football though, with the Sheffield Tigers Speedway team. I thought
it was an absolute dump, but in a stadium where they were bringing 1,500 through the turnstiles for football, the terraces
were thronging with petrol-heads watching Kenny Carter whiz round at break-neck speed. Eventually I was persuaded to join
some of my Manchester City supporting cronies on a trip to the Shay one grotty January afternoon, for a third round FA
Cup tie, and a cakewalk was expected with City running in a hat-full. It didn't materialise, City were dire - as was
the pitch - and amazingly Halifax won 1-0. My mates were despondent, and rightly so, whereas I was absolutely wetting myself.
It should have heralded a new dawn for Halifax, but it didn't.
On that visit to the Shay the thing that grabbed me
most was the state of the "stadium" itself, the terracing was nothing short of muck encrusted railway sleepers, and the City
fans did nothing but bitch about it - after all they were being embarrassed by a team whose home was nothing short of a dump.
How it qualified as a league ground was beyond me, it would struggle to make UniBond standards these days, but it highlighted
what kind of life a team like Halifax lived. That was the last time I went to the Shay for football, Halifax dropped into
non-league obscurity - then out of it - then back into it. At the moment Halifax share the title of most senior non-league
team in the county of Yorkshire with York City, and like the Minstermen, I wouldn't swap places with them for all the
tea in China - and oh boy, I do like tea. The ground has had a facelift since then, but like you'd expect there's
a twist to the tale, as when the money ran out - so did the improvements. So you are left with a half finished ground,
with two impressive banks of terracing behind each goal, the old side terraced all seated (albeit a bit banged up) and the
main stand... well I guess it was a good idea at the time. What you are left with is the concrete shell, not even the fascia
of the stand roof is finished, and there are about fifty seats scattered around willy-nilly. I'm sure it will be impressive
when it's done, but at the moment it looks embarrassing, and there's no timescale on when it'll get done...
The key problem is cash, or to be exact, the lack of it.
Every time I see Halifax mentioned in the press, it is usually coupled up with their imminent demise, never anything positive.
Which is the point I was trying to make earlier, they are a team who are ranked in a place I could only dream of at this moment
with Sheffield, but rather than living the dream - they are living the nightmare. It always makes me wonder how a team like
that gets into such a bad shape, maybe bad management, maybe the lack of backing from their local community in the shadow
of a bigger team. But West Yorkshire doesn't have a single team in the top two divisions in England, that may or may not be
relevant, but I just wanted to point that out anyway. At the moment they are living a week to week existence, and more often
than not they are having hurdles put in front of them, even when they achieve impressive things. Take last season's County
Cup campaign for instance, where they beat Pontefract Collieries 14-3 (yes that's right FOURTEEN), you'd think it'd be them
that went on to bigger and better things and no doubt would be favourites to win the cup outright. Wrong - it was Pontefract
who progressed to the next round to play Bradford Park Avenue, simply because of Halifax's inability to register a player
for the competition, that or they had a death wish. The rest of the County could not believe their luck, and Goole went on
to take advantage and won the final...
But surely lightning cannot strike twice in this respect,
tonight's game is also a match up at home to one of the county's lesser lights Ossett Albion, which is not meant to say Albion
have not caused us some problems down the years. On paper once again you expect Halifax to march through relentless and get
to the County Cup Final, lifting the trophy some time in May at Woodlesford, they have enough players on show to do that without
breaking sweat. But even with the injuries they are suffering, they should be able to be too much for a team from UniBond
One, so I was expecting a biggish scoreline. Ossett are in a similar spot to us in the northern version of our division, and
they've had their moments so far, but this one should be a bit of a difficult obstacle. They'd just seen an eight game undefeated
run come to an end, one that had seen them hammer title favourites Curzon Ashton on their own patch along the way, but even
given that this is considered a "Mickey Mouse Competition" I couldn't see a shock result on the horizon. But stranger things
have happened, and coincidentally the winners of this tie are due to play Bradford Park Avenue in the next round, surely Albion
weren't going to find fortune the same way Pontefract had done twelve months earlier...
Halifax's average crowd is around the 1,300 mark; with probably
3,000 expected for the visit of York City next week, so to say tonight's attendance of 174 was disappointing is an understatement.
Obviously the crowd was made up of die-hard followers from both teams, and given the recent weather that left the pitch
a little worse for wear; it never was going to be a great spectacle. The goals I expected started to come as early as the
tenth minute, when Darryn Stamp flicked on to Andy Campbell who finished quite easily, and minutes later it was two as Nick
Gray headed in a Tom Kearney corner. But a certain amount of arrogance surfaced in Town's play, and on twenty minutes Albion
pulled one back - much to the delight of their little knot of followers - as Mark Whitehouse headed home. It looked as if
the visitors were able to step up a gear as well, and they looked the better of the two sides for the rest of the half, with
an equaliser more likely than any goal avalanche. Ten minutes into the second half though Darryn Stamp dived in to head home
a Steve Torpey free-kick, all Ossett's hopes of a shock win disintegrated, and with twenty minutes left it was all over as
Halifax got a fourth from Lewis Killeen with Torpey the provider once again. That was it as far as scoring went, both teams
went off the boil with the result sorted, neither being able to raise their game to provide any further entertainment.
FOOTNOTE: I've deleted the last paragraph of this article,
as just before I was set to publish this, it happened again - yes Halifax were expelled from the competition, for fielding
an illegible player of all things. I'd started finishing up when I got home and was looking at the Halifax line-up, cross-referencing
it with my favourite online tool, Wikipedia. I noticed that there was at least one player who was quoted as being "on-loan"
from a certain club or other, and I was unsure whether or not it was allowed in the tournament. Apparently it isn't. Read
into this however you wish, but Halifax have been fined £1,500, not a mountainous amount but hardly something to please the
club accountants - especially when you take this had an attendance of 174 people paying £5.00 each, minus the wages and costs
of staging the game. Now what was that I was saying about the club having a death wish?
Jaunt No. 22
Kimberley Miners Welfare 4 Cotgrave Welfare 2
Nottinghamshire Senior League
Saturday, 02/02/08
Once again the weather... SNOW FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!! Ridiculous,
the weather has been fine since midweek, but one of the girls at work came to me and said "snow was on the way". Friday we
had a brief flurry in S8; I looked out of my office window and said "it won't settle". We'd made firm plans to go to Kidsgrove,
whose car were we taking, and what time had already been sorted - then I opened the curtains... I mean, WHERE DID THAT COME
FROM???? The scene was a beautiful vista of white powdery stuff as far as the eye could see, the sun was shining and the cold
crisp winter's day suggested it would be a good day for sledding - or in the case of the boy Liam - paintballing in Sherwood
Forest. Only for me I don't see any enjoyment out of those little activities do I? No the truth is this - snow interferes
with football - fact! So there was no surprise when the expected call from SFC manager Mr McCarthy comes through again, the
game is off, the fixture backlog grows and once again it leaves me with a blank Saturday to fill for entertainment. But the
problem you find when the weather hits so comprehensively as this is that if one game goes, then you can be sure many more
will follow, making it a fraught and frantic morning of scouring the web and making phone calls to find a suitable game. Funnily
enough though after dropping Liam off at his cousin's house, by the time we were on our way back to the car, the snow was
melting faster than Luton Town's survival hopes. Finding a game on was going to be child's play, so after ringing up my first
choice and finding it was on - well let's just say I was reasonably happy...
That choice was Kimberley Miners Welfare, of the Notts Senior
League, and NOT to be confused with Kimberley Town of the CMFL. Strangely enough this was not the first time I'd been here,
I had visited them once before, but headed off home after just fifteen minutes play. No the last time I came was about five
years ago in the old Notts League, when the season had drifted into the death throes of May and into June, such was THEIR
fixture back log that season. In fact that has just made me think back then, at the moment we are doing a "five years ago"
thingy on the front page of BTF reminiscing about that very season, and looking at the statistics to find the relevant info
you'd be amazed at how many games went due to a very similar pattern of weather as we have suffered THIS season - torrential
rain in the summer, more rain in the winter, followed by frost and snow and more rain... but I'm digressing. Anyway, the season
was running into ridiculous overtime that year, and Kimberley had a Saturday game on a day when I had very little to do -
so I went. When I got there the ground was infested with groundhoppers, not too disturbing I have to admit, but the fact there
was one group of... let's just say "southern" shall we... who were berating an official over the lack of a programme. It was
the first time I had ever encountered such a display of hostility over something so trivial, the poor Kimberley bloke didn't
know what to do, and this certain southern gentleman spent the rest of the game (or the time I was there) walking round the
ground moaning at everyone who'd listen. By the time he reached and started on me it had started raining, my temper had gone,
he opened his mouth and I snapped "mate, I don't care" (or something along those lines) turned and went to the car. There's
more to football than this...
So always at the back of my agenda had been to revisit Kimberley
MWFC, one of the very few I wanted to do, as it isn't a bad little set up run by a bunch of hard working people - and I wasn't
going to let my memory of this place be spoiled by that twat. So just about every free Saturday that has come up between then
and now has seen them playing away, or postponed, so this being on was more than a bonus than I could hope for - especially
as I wanted to get to it as far away from the end of season dross as possible. The Welfare play at a homely little ground
behind the houses in Digby Street in Kimberley, and for those of you who don't know where that is... well just follow the
line of traffic milling their way off the A610, and instead of turning left at the roundabout with the rest of the herd to
that big yellow building, go right up a hill and then right again. The entrance to the ground is very much in the same vein
as my beloved Kenilworth Road's away turnstiles, you know where you go through someone's side alley to get in, with the ground
opening up before you. Really though the ground doesn't have much in the way of facilities, with a tea hut being the only
feature of note - and before you ask, yes it is very much overshadowed by the huge IKEA on the hill. The fact it is quite
exposed means you really feel the wind at this place; however it does give the opportunity for the team to expand or develop
the place if they so wish, at the moment though there is no need. For the time being they seem quite happy to plod along in
the NSL (and that isn't meant as a slight at the team), a league in which they were one of the founder members, and to be
honest it seems a good idea as they seem to have been nothing more than a perennial mid-table team since joining...
This season has been another mixed bag for Kimberley, and
yet again they have failed to rip trees up in this division, sitting as they are in the lower reaches of the table. Their
visitors on the other hand have had a better "bag", and if results had been a little kinder to them in the last few weeks
(where they amazingly lost four of their last seven games, plus drawing one), they would have been pushing closer to the title.
This is the title they won last season, and all of a sudden the back-to-back titles that were expected have gone by the wayside;
yes Cotgrave's season has literally imploded. They are a team who I predicted to be on the up a few seasons ago, yet they
continue to persevere with playing at this level, whether it is to grab more silverware I don't know - but after last season's
title win, things have gone a bit pear shaped. Don't ask me why, as sometimes it goes like this, and all of a sudden they
are clinging on to second spot when that was the worst thing they expected from this campaign. Things look to have turned
a little corner for Cotgrave last week; they won a vital game against fellow... I don't know how to put this - they are near
the top of the table, can't win the title or gain promotion... let's say, front-runners. So if they can come out on top of
this one, and I fully expect that to happen, and then come up with positive results against the leaders next week - there's
nothing to say that they won't repeat last season's glory season. But then looking at the mud-bath of a pitch, it was a case
of anything could happen; I just hoped it wouldn't be a boring battle of attrition...
As far as games starting quickly, this was up with
the best of them, as both sides decided to attack with reckless abandon. The first goal went in after just ninety seconds,
but that was amazingly after the game's FOURTH shot on goal, as youngster Jake Fisher decided to release one on the turn from
about twenty yards out that bamboozled everyone in the Cotgrave defence. No more than a minute later and the form book was
turned well and truly upside-down, when the ball broke down the left to Nick Pezzotta who whipped it into the box, and steaming
into volley home at the back post was Carl Beecham. It looked like anything could happen in this one, I pretty much felt I'd
stumbled on to a right gem of a game, but as soon as that thought entered my mind the game went a little flat. The rest of
the half was played in a good spirit, but come the second half, well everything kick started again. Just before the hour Cotgrave
were laying siege to the Kimberley box, when for no apparent reason midfielder Matt Wheat was scythed down when he posed no
threat to goal, up stepped Marek Vipond to convert the penalty and it was game on. Now it was all backs to the wall for
the home side, five minutes later and the unlikely comeback had been achieved, as some good build up play saw the ball drop
to Eddie Draper who slotted in at the back post. But any thoughts that the turnaround would be complete were smashed thirty
seconds after the restart, with Cotgrave still in the mind-set of pushing everyone forward, Jake Fisher broke through the
middle and coolly lobbed the keeper to regain the lead. With ten to go the injury was complete for the (now pretty self-evidently)
former-champions, when Fisher turned provider to unselfishly square the ball to Pezzotta who tapped into the empty net, even
though it looked as if he was a mile offside.
Nevertheless that's how it finished, and I have to say I
was pleasantly surprised by the quality of footy on show this afternoon, and all the thought of snow and all that stuff tucked
well to the back of my mind along with obnoxious southern groundhoppers. No doubt at the end of this season both of these
teams will be consigned amongst the NSL "also-rans", but after this little feast of football served up today, and I consider
this to be one of the best five games I've seen this season. So after all my reservations of the mud bath toil I mentioned
earlier, I was wrong - again - and as I made my way away from Digby Road to pick up the "Rambo Kid", pausing to look at the
snake of cars full of sheep milling out that big yellow behemoth, I made the decision that I would be heading to the NSL once
again before the end of the season. I just hope it's half as good as today, and then I'll be really happy...
Jaunt No. 21
Eccleshall 0 Rocester 1
Staffordshire Senior Challenge
Cup Semi Final
Wednesday, 30/01/08
Isn't it weird how people hear a place name and think
it's somewhere else, like the last time on this page with Barrow Town, which was in Leicestershire - not Cumbria? The thing
is I remember once my wife coming home from work asking "where's Stoke on Trent?" After the usual "don't you know anything
about English geography" and "why are you asking me such random questions", she explained she would have to go on a training
course at a hotel there a few weeks afterwards, and it was strange how the people at her branch would be heading to Stoke
whilst other people in Sheffield would be going to one another day in erm... Sheffield! After a minute or two looking at this
memo it twigged, the coordinator of this course assumed that when her branch was called Ecclesall, it was actually Eccleshall
- as in Eccleshall in Staffordshire! Now anyone in Sheffield would know that Ecclesall is a district in our great city, but
someone in the faceless satellite town Welwyn Garden City would type it in their search engine - leaving an "H" in there for
good measure - and it would throw up the nearest course as being in Stoke, even if that means (as it turned out) the company
doesn't even have a branch in Eccleshall! I only say that as tonight, in a strange converse fashion, I was just about to head
out to the game to be asked by the wife "where are you going tonight?" When I answered "Eccleshall", she answered in a sweet
naïve fashion, "oh so you won't be late home then?" It got me thinking, how many people end up at the wrong place just by
having the presumption their destination was somewhere else completely different...
I know from personal experience the places of Hemsworth
and Swinton have thrown me, whilst the place called Eccleshill absolutely baffled me the first time I was going to watch Sheffield
there, but that wasn't because of the name - it's just a strange place. But once again I digress; I've used Eccleshall as
a reference point all too often in this column, they are "the Staffordshire team that has done well for itself". I mentioned
them the other week when I was talking about Hanley Town, another team that aims to be on the up, and I thought to be fair
a trip over there wouldn't be a bad idea. Honestly I seem to be spending quite a lot of time in Staffordshire these days,
if I was the suspicious kind I'd guess that I had some woman holed up there and I was sneaking visits, but I haven't - so
there! It just happens to be a whole new area for me to explore, and I have to admit, it is a bloody big area for me to get
my teeth into. There was a piece I was reading in tonight's programme about Chasetown's exploits in the FA Cup, and how the
Daily Telegraph had described the ground as being in Walsall and "the accents from Birmingham"; however both in fact are from
Staffordshire - and it underlines what a strong county this is in Non-League circles. Take Chasetown then, add Burton Albion,
Tamworth, Hednesford Town, Kidsgrove (from our league), Leek Town, Rushall Olympic - and of course Stafford Rangers - along
with the likes of (our once conquerors) Stone Dominoes, Newcastle Town, Biddulph (covered earlier this season), Norton United
and the two teams contesting tonight's little mêlée, and you have a pretty healthy little county of Non-League teams. Actually
I reckon I'd dare to venture that is a stronger county Non-League wise than the Sheffield and Hallamshire, and possibly Yorkshire
as a whole...
The town of Eccleshall is a proper little "biscuit tin
village" which I reckon the county is proud of, set somewhere between Stoke and Stafford, and I guess in daytime is like one
of those little Cotswold towns. The majority of the buildings in town are of that ilk, with leaded windows and Tudor fronts,
with the shops looking all country-chic and Burberry and nary a Netto, Greggs or Poundland to be seen. I bet the pubs all
sell real ale too! Sadly though as I drove through the sun had long gone to bed, and I could only imagine what it must be
like on a normal day, probably picturing a scene from Midsomer Murders or summat like that. The Eagles' (nickname alert) ground
is at the far side of the town in the middle of nowhere, in the village of Pershall, and has undergone a few facelifts over
the last decade to get them to their current standing. Okay, so it isn't the best ground you'll come to, but it ticks all
the right boxes. It more or less is a field that has been fenced off, and when I say fenced I mean like MY garden fence, with
a few bits of scattered cover and seating. So nothing over the top, and I guess basic is good enough, I certainly like it.
The ground has two entrances, one for each car park at each end of the ground, and seeing as tonight's attendance was three
times the average both car parks were in use and I was directed to the furthest one. The bloke at the turnstile was as cordial
as you'd like, a bit like that old friend you haven't seen for years, and must have either secretly known me or been a good
judge of character because the greeting was finished with "anyway, the bar's in that corner!" Naturally it would have insulted
his good nature if I hadn't gone in the cosy little clubhouse and had a pint, and a pie, and then another one...
I might have mentioned it in previous articles
that Eccleshall were reformed from the ashes of an older incarnation as recently as 1971, I can't be sure whether I did or
not, but one thing I can say for definite is I've mentioned their successes. Their honours list has been a progression up
the levels, grabbing silverware all along the way, and starting the millennium as THE team of the Staffordshire County League.
Successive title wins has seen them - along with some ground improvements - catapult themselves into the higher echelons of
the NWCFL, settling into the Second Division. Sadly though that progress seems to have halted somewhat, and this season they've
struggled a little bit, finding the going a little bit tough at the wrong end of the table. They are so bad that at the time
of writing they were rooted to the foot of the table, with eight successive defeats in the league before this game, and twelve
games since a win. One little ray of light in an otherwise dank and dreary campaign has been the county cup, with this season
being their debut after years of playing in the Vase, and they've not made a bad fist of it eliminating the reserve teams
of Stoke City AND Port Vale along the way. All that stands in their way, and between a fairytale final appearance at Stoke's
Britannia Stadium, is Uttoxeter's finest - the Romans of Rocester. These guys hadn't had as hard a journey to the semis as
the Eagles, and unlike the hosts they are having a better time of it in their league campaign - the Midland Alliance - sitting
in fifth, and technically a level higher than Eccleshall in the pyramid. That in my book made the visitors the favourites
in this game, but as you well know from history, cup football throws everything out the window when it comes to the "form
book"...
Another factor that was thrown into the mix before the
game, although I wasn't made aware of it until after the match, was the Romans' managerial situation. Joint Managers Damian
Grocott and Andy O'Connor tendered their resignations, obviously this would put a spoke in things tonight and in the future,
but if (like me) you didn't know of this situation - well, it didn't show on the pitch. Rocester looked the class above the
pyramid and tables had suggested, the scoreline should have been much more comfortable than the one goal they scored early
on, and that was a penalty too. It came after twenty minutes as livewire Tommy Smith was hacked down in the box whilst leaping
up for the ball - believe me it looked weird, someone being blatantly toppled in mid-air, but not as weird as the home fans
screaming "cheat" - and the spot kick was dispatched with ease by leading scorer Dave Shaw. After that it was all Rocester,
I can't say as I remember their keeper Dean Latham having to do anything of real note, and matters got much worse for the
hosts as their captain Danny Stevens got his marching orders for a petulant slap on an opponent. Effectively the game was
no contest, which isn't to say it wasn't entertaining, on another day Rocester MIGHT have had five or six goals as they ripped
the Eagles' defence open with ease. So it was no fairytale final for Eccleshall after all, and Rocester now march on to the
final at Stoke City's impressive stadium where they will meet the winner of Kidsgrove and Pelsall Villa, neither of whom will
cause much lost sleep for the Romans. As for Eccleshall, well they may as well write this season off, very little is left
to be salvaged from this only pride. Having a season like this is alien to a team that is used to winning so regular, so don't
write them off just yet, and to paraphrase Arnie - "they'll be back"...
Jaunt No. 20
Barrow Town 1 Loughborough Dynamo 1
Westerby Leicestershire
Cup Round Two
Tuesday, 15/01/08
Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day!
To be brutally honest I'm starting to get well and truly pissed off with this rain now, I mean I wouldn't
mind it if it all came in one fell swoop and then went, but it seems to be coming in sporadic bursts. This in itself isn't
so bad, but the fact that it saves its heaviest downpours for Sheffield game days, well it makes for frustrating times for
anyone following the Club. I've lost count now as to how many times Sheffield have lost a game to the rain, I think I've managed
to see just two games in two months, and my text message inbox is half full of messages from our manager Mr McCarthy telling
us "the game is off today!" The thing is it isn't anyone's fault, take a look at the days where Sheffield have lost games
to the elements, and then look elsewhere in the fixture list - it is littered with other teams that have lost their game.
The bit that is annoying though is that it ALWAYS Sheffield that are getting their game cancelled, and even when it isn't
at the BFS those games are still going by the wayside, normally with those teams that once were our promotion rivals getting
their games played and putting more "points in the bag" whilst our "games in hand" mount up. It's really silly to be truthful,
it gets to the stage where teams lose so many games their fixture backlog is untenable, and I can see the point in the not
too distant future when we are having to fit Thursday games in a four-games-in-one-week schedule. So when we are scheduled
to play a Presidents Cup tie at Retford in midweek, and it gets cancelled, the natural order of things states the league cancel
the week after's scheduled league fixture. And naturally the re-arranged game gets cancelled again, at the expense of a game
on a playable pitch, the backlog continues...
Don't get me wrong I don't blame anyone for this - except God that is, but I'll let Him off because He's
bigger than me - I've seen pictures of tonight's Retford pitch when I got home, and that is in no way playable. I don't blame
the league either, they want this competition, we subscribed to this league and all its regulations - so we have to abide
by them. And I don't blame anyone at Sheffield; they want to be as successful as possible in all competitions, and it would
be unjust to throw games to ease any congestion. No, where there is no blame there is frustration, and it brought me thinking
of when I mistakenly said I'd run out of Jaunts (as I mentioned last time) before the season's end - we've played ONE home
game since then. So where there is no Sheffield game to be seen, up pops another Jaunt in the series, and for the readers
of this column the bad weather has once again given me a chance to add to the "collection". Only it hasn't, the rain has positively
wiped out just about EVERYTHING on the calendar, with literally NO games surviving within 75 miles of Gleadless. An afternoon
watching the famous Kempster Non-League Forum showed everyone was in the same boat (very apt given the weather), and groundhoppers
and non league fans in general were making frantic calls to secretaries of clubs around the north and midlands, vainly hoping
that someone would say "Yes, no problem, the game is on!" All afternoon the number of games that survived their respective
inspections dwindled, until we were down to the choice of two - another trip to good ol' Dinno, or a hike a little bit further
to Leicestershire to see the local derby between Barrow Town and Loughborough Dynamo. The choice was unanimous...
Whenever anyone says "Barrow" everyone automatically thinks of Cumbria, I know that's what my missus thought,
but as you can tell from the top of the page this is a place in Leicestershire. It’s Barrow-upon-Soar to be exact, which
is a little village just by the A6 between Loughborough and Leicester, and by all accounts is a nice little place too. In
September it won the award for Best Kept Village 2007, the third time it has won the award, not that I'd know though - the
only other time I've been was in the dark, and my second time would also be at night as well. It is also famous - if you can
call it that - for the discovery of a plesiosaur (you know, like the Loch Ness Monster is supposed to be) skeleton in 1851,
something that is nicknamed the "Barrow Kipper". So proud of this is the village, the local football team - ostentatiously
called "Town" - adopted this as the centrepiece for their crest. The last time I came to Barrow as I said, it was dark, but
it was very warm - so warm in fact I remember wearing shorts that night. Tonight though as I said is anything but, the chance
of me turning up in anything other than winter togs is as remote as seeing the Pope at an Orange Parade, but I digress. The
game in question is yet another County Cup game, and a bit of a catchweight contest at that - with Barrow Town plying their
trade in the notorious Leicestershire Senior League, whilst the visitors from three miles up the road Loughborough Dynamo
play one level higher in the Midland Football Alliance. It looks to be an interesting contest as well, as the Dynamo are pushing
near the top of the Alliance with a view to coming up to Club's level, with Barrow leading the way at the top of the LSL.
Neither side are used to losing so a good game was to be expected...
Interestingly (given the conditions tonight) Barrow play their home games at Riverside Park, basically named
due to the fact the ground is situated right alongside the River Soar, which I must say doesn't give you a great deal of faith
to seeing a full ninety minutes of football in such heavy rainy weather. Either way the amount of work that has gone into
this little ground is impressive, especially considering it since the last time I came, with two brand new banks of cover
(one standing, one seated) being erected at the far side of the ground - with a brand new bar and dressing room complex by
the entrance. The rest hasn't changed, sadly that means there are limitations with the ground (such as not being fully enclosed
and the bridge over the A6 trunk road looks directly into the ground allowing free viewing) so promotion is a tall order in
these parts, which is a shame. The people behind the scenes are as friendly as any you'll find, which to be fair is true of
many in the LSL (it's just the players that are thugs), and to be honest are as welcoming and helpful as anyone I've covered
in these pages. It was a call to these helpful chappies that advised everyone NOT too park in the car-park, due to the fact
it was "under water" (not promising), but to head of into the village to find a space so you didn't get bogged down on exit.
And that is the thing with Riverside Park, it literally appears to be IN a park, with trees and areas fit for picnicking (or
so I imagine, still to see it in daylight to find out for certain) and a dirt track used to get to the ground - which adds
to the potential problem with getting out at the end of the game. But that was the least of my worries, "would I have had
a wasted journey", and "what state would the pitch be in" were at the forefront of my mind. Needless to say, I got there,
drove up the dirt track and lo' and behold - the car park seemed to be "semi-drained"...
At kick off the pitch looked in fine fettle, the weather seemed to have eased up a bit, and to be fair at
worst you could say we were suffering a bit of "light drizzle". All the same it seemed a wise move to make our way into the
newly built (since the last time I came) covered terracing, just in case the heavens opened again, and it was a similar move
that most of the Kempster-ites had taken as well. Out of the reported 123 attendance, it turns out that at least twenty of
them were regular posters on that forum, so as you can imagine it was a case of introductions all round, and a bit of catching
up on the latest gossip - yeah, I know we really ARE like old women. Anyway all the time the game carried on, with Barrow
breaking the deadlock against the odds when Dave Hollis stuck the ball in the back of the net, it has to be said against the
run of play. Their higher league visitors then proceeded to hammer the hosts with an all out assault, but to no avail, then
out of nowhere the referee awarding a pretty harsh penalty for the slightest of shoves just before half time. All hell broke
loose on the Barrow bench, so it was seen as a bit of fair justice when Kris Nurse stepped up to the plate and missed, the
barrage that followed from the home management pretty much guaranteed it would take a brave ref to award ANOTHER one against
them. The heavens had now decided it would be a good time to re-open, and the deluge that followed left visible puddles of
standing water on the pitch, the challenge was whether this game would see out the ninety minutes. Ten minutes after the restart,
the worst thing that could happen did, Loughborough equalised through Joe Jonas - it wasn't going to be a case of if the game
would reach ninety, it was a case of "bloody hell, not extra time"...
As the game went on the pitch resembled a mud path, the surface was a mix of cut up turf and puddles, and
all the time the moisture factor was reaching critical levels. Surely the game wouldn't finish, but all credit to both teams,
the referee and his assistants it continued. Neither side looked like they could break the deadlock, the longer it went on,
the longer the pitch prevented anything remotely like a goal-scoring chance. But both sides nearly did, but as expected the
game went to extra time, the rain by this time was hammering down so fiercely on the roof of the stand you couldn't hear yourself
think - let alone speak. The game squelched through two periods of extra time, by this time the game itself was more of a
lottery than any penalty shootout could be, and if the ref called it off at this late stage - well, he must be either daft
or brave, or both. Sods law though says that on the night with the worst ever conditions, the game you do attend will end
up going to penalties, it did. First up to the spot was Kris Nurse, yep him that missed the earlier penalty, and he calmly
slotted it into the corner. If he'd have scored that first one we wouldn't still be stood here, but he didn't, so we mustn't
moan. Next up saw the Barrow lad miss his, one that proved decisive, as everyone else dispatched their kicks with ease. So
the Dynamo won 5-3, everyone in attendance was glad it was over - none more so than the Barrow groundsman - and everyone trotted
back to their cars, trying to avoid the lagoon that once was hard-standing - luckily we all escaped safely. Both teams can
be proud of their efforts in this game, but I think the most important thing is they got the game played; it is one less for
them to worry about in April. I wish we were in the same boat... I mean Ark...
Jaunt No. 19
Hanley Town 5 Brereton Social 0
Staffordshire Vase Round
Three
Saturday, 12/01/08
About a month ago I had this little worry going on, which was how was I going to get enough
Jaunts in to warrant articles to fill the programme, at the start of December things were starting to catch up. It seemed
that the number of neutral games I was getting to was dwindling, yet the Sheffield FC home games were coming thick and fast,
and whilst this column has always been featured first and foremost on www.behindtheflag.co.uk - I like to think I can keep
getting to enough games to keep the column constant in the programme. So you can imagine the bitter-sweet emotion regarding
the recent spate of cancelled games, the upside is the opportunity to get to a wad of new grounds to cover, on the downside
(and more importantly) it is looking like a pretty busy run-in for Club. So when the Alsager game went under, and let's be
honest who imagine it'd go ahead, it left me with the luxury of having another full Saturday's schedule of matches to get
to. Only it didn't, the rain that had enveloped Sheffield for three days solid wasn't just concentrated on anything with an
"S" postcode; it'd threatened the majority of the country's games as well. When the expected call came it was all on to find
a game definitely on, I had a list of four, and couldn't get an answer from any of them to say which was on or not (as it
turned out ALL of them played) so an alternative had to be found. As luck had it my mobile shocked me into life, at the other
end was someone suggesting a trip to Hanley in Staffordshire, at the same time my lap-top flashed that Hanley's game was definitely
on! I guess you could call it fate...
So as fate would have it I decided to get on with getting to this game, I find
in times like this if you want to see a game of football, don't hang around! My call also gave me the directions and timescales
from his Sat-Nav, which suggested it would take about ninety minutes, and I was to head to Hanley via Buxton and Leek. Now
here's the thing, it's Saturday, it's lunchtime and the sun is out - you know full well that the pub-lunch brigade would be
chugging to and from nice little countryside hostelries, and none of them exceeding 25 mph. I kid you not I was stuck behind
a NUN (yes, it was only when I overtook her and decided to berate her for holding me up for the last ten miles that I realised,
and changed my mind - good Christian that I am), and later in the run one "pub-luncher" pulled into a pub car-park, only for
them to let another slower one out in their place. As it turned out the run was close to two hours rather than the hour and
half I'd planned, and with this being a 1.30 kick off it was looking like I'd have to abandon this one, but with the lack
of readily available fixture information things weren't looking good. The problem lay with finding the ground, as I knew it
was situated just off the Leek Road, but the access was hidden behind an Infant School and along a half developed council
estate. Eventually I decided I would go for gold and stick with my intended destination, I could easily have gambled on going
to one of the games kicking off thirty minutes later, but as with all gambles - you can end up losing easier than you can
win. But the weather didn't give the indication it'd call time on ANY game, it was like Gateshead last week, on the day it
was fine. In fact if you'd just landed at East Midlands (for example) Airport, you'd be saying "what do you mean games are
in doubt", Saturday's weather was as out of character with the previous 72 hours that you'd think it was some kind of joke.
As it turned out, it was a good choice not to gamble, every other game I'd planned in the area was either off or (even worse)
goal-less...
Hanley Town then, have you ever heard of them? Well I
have to admit they are a fairly new one to appear on my horizon, and that was only because they took over from Eccleshall
as the dominant team in the old Springbank Midland League, after the Pershall Park outfit had left the roost to head for life
in the NWCFL. Like Eccleshall, Hanley are said to be aiming to progress into North West Senior Football, after all they've
been nigh on unbeatable since the new Staffordshire County League was inaugurated. They were the first champions of the new
set-up, and they were also the LAST champions of the old Springbank set up, whilst last season they finished second after
some last day drama which saw them end up two points shy of the title behind Wolstanton. This season they've started well,
but still find themselves in another neck and neck tussle with Wolstanton, along with about three other clubs. It looks like
the Staffordshire County League could be an exciting one to watch as the season goes along, and no doubt I'll find myself
over there more and more later on in 2008, but today the League isn't the thing that's at stake - today is County Cup time.
In this case it's the Staffordshire FA Vase, which as far as pecking order goes is second on the list, behind the Staffordshire
County Senior Cup. Now the thing about this competition is that it is entered by clubs from the Midland Combination, West
Midlands Regional League and NWCFL, along with those of the Staffs League, and it shouldn't need explaining that the MidComb,
WMRL and NWCFL are a much higher level in the pyramid...
This then is the Quarter Finals, and of the remaining
eight teams, three of the survivors are from the Staffs League - with all four MidComb teams that entered and one from the
NWCFL. Yet the reigning holders are from the Staffs League, and the winners the year before were also from the Staffs League,
and the year before that Hanley won it themselves! The last time anyone had won it from the MidComb was erm... ooh I don't
know, Heath Hayes (who have made a sideways move from the West Midlands League) won it not too long ago, but they weren't
in the MidComb at the time were they? In Hanley's way today was Brereton Social, from Rugeley at the bottom end of the county,
just off the A5. Now they are one of the four MidComb teams, and to be honest they are the worst, sitting right at the foot
of the Premier Division table. In the league they've won just the one game, way back on August Bank Holiday Monday against
local rivals Heath Hayes, and an unimpressive extra-time win in the previous round of this competition against Staffs League
strugglers Florence. So as you can imagine, they don't come across as a decent team, quite the opposite. In my opinion that
meant that today's contest would be an interesting one, like most cup-ties between lower division high-fliers and higher division
strugglers, it would basically give definition to the blur between respective leagues. But how it would end was beyond me,
all I knew was that it should be close, but as everyone knows "should" and "actual" results are two different things. Now
all I had to do was to find the bloody ground, and get there on time, and I'll be able to tell you all how it all turned out...
I
eventually got to the ground five minutes after the scheduled kick off, the trip really was that gruelling, and the bloke
on the gate was pleased (but disappointed - if you get my drift) it was still goal-less. As seems to be the trend in these
parts, the car park was inside the ground, although if they decide to develop (which they are doing) there's still acres of
space outside the ground to allow for loads of car parking spots, thus giving them a huge plot of land to build seating or
something in the existing car park area. To say the ground is a candidate for NWCFL football is a bit hopeful in the immediate
future, but honestly I can see them having the template to create an arena worthy of that level, it'll just take some time
that's all. Overall there's not much difference between Abbey Lane and half of the Central Midlands Premier Division, with
a railed pitch and a small covered shed on the far side, very similar in fact to Askern, Clipstone or Dunkirk - but without
floodlights. The clubhouse is situated in the corner of the ground, and is the usual set up of bar and kitchen (for hot drinks),
but is positioned in the corner of the pitch so you can actually see the game unobstructed through the window - without worrying
about the ball coming smashing through. As I say though, there's plenty of scope for them to do what they need to do, and
with the lack of residential properties in the immediate vicinity they can do what they want...
On the pitch, which
was heavy - hardly surprising really - it was hard to see which team was highest in the pecking order in the pyramid. Hanley
looked an energetic side that harried and bullied (not dirty mind you) their higher ranked opponents, so it came as no surprise
that the hosts forced a defensive error midway through the first half, with Nathan Chinn-Shaw dispossessing a Brereton defender
and walking the ball into the net. This kid looked to be a class above everyone else on the pitch, yet a bloke at the game
took time to tell me that he'd been languishing in the reserves up until recently, and was banging them in now he was in the
first team. By half time he should have had three, as he repeated the events that led to the goal only to miss, and couldn't
get on the end of a cross from striking partner Rob Fairbanks with the goal begging. In the second half it looked as if Hanley
had settled for the one goal lead, but with twenty minutes to go Brereton imploded, producing one of the worst defensive displays
I've EVER seen. Honestly it was Keystone Cops time, first they failed to clear properly allowing Kieran Wooley to whip in
a cross that landed on the head of an unmarked Fairbanks. Seconds later it was three as the skipper Steve Harrison poked home
from the edge of the area following another goalmouth scramble, and the comedy three minutes was completed when Chinn-Shaw
capitalised on yet more hesitant defending, repeating the first goal almost verbatim. Brereton looked to have almost surrendered,
all that was missing was the white flag, so when a clearance hit Chinn-Shaw and went in the net for his hat-trick - there
was little in the way of emotion from either side, even the Hanley Ultras failed to celebrate with the trumpets...
As
a contest this was probably amongst the most one-sided I've seen, five-nil could and should have been ten, twelve or even
more. Yet the thing I took away from this was that despite this little team progressing to the Vase Semi-Finals, I can see
many of the squad upping and going elsewhere, I've seen it before. If the club want to go onwards and upwards they are going
to have to get the ground developments moving, they have the squad on the pitch to do the business, what the players need
now is the challenge of higher grade football. I've seen it before with South Kirkby, who I expected to progress ever forward,
yet the players from that promising team five years ago have moved on and they are now further behind than before. Personally
I really hope they do move on, and like I said earlier about Eccleshall, there is a bright future waiting for them - if they
are ready to grasp it. And as for Brereton, well I'm gob-smacked, league position or not - they were abysmal - now I MUST
get THERE before the end of this season. Right, where's that Brereton Social fixture list I was looking for?
Jaunt No. 18
Phoenix Sports 2 Welbeck Welfare 4
Central Midlands League Premier Division
Saturday, 29/12/07
Dear Diary: 2007 is drawing ever nearer
to a close, and 2008 is just around the corner, they say time flies when you're having fun. This weather has really been getting
me down lately, it has not only affected my mojo, and it has affected the most important thing of all - football. First the
rain, then the frost, then more rain. Last night on my way back from Rushden the heavens opened, and the drive back was treacherous
to say the least, and I saw three accidents on my way back. When I got in I noticed that today's game was going to have a
pitch inspection at 8.30, that Diary as you know is never promising, so I knew that last night I would need to look for alternatives.
It seems more and more I'm doing this, and at the back of my mind is a memory of four-games-in-a-week Aprils and Mays, I really
hope it doesn't compromise our promotion push. This morning then I've been to get my hair cut, the queue as always on a Saturday
was horrendous, and now I'm back so late I'm going to have to go somewhere local. Very local in fact, I always think that
on Saturdays when I'm not working, if there isn't a Sheffield game I'd prefer to get to a ground where midweek games aren't
going to happen. That means a two o'clock-er, that means something that's gritty, that also means if it's local I'll be going
to either the Central Midlands Premier or Notts Alliance. Seeing as Nottinghamshire is a bit too far to get to, I'll be staying
in the vicinity; I think I'll go to Pavilion Lane to watch Phoenix...
Right so how many of you have had a
Sunday final at Phoenix Sports on Bawtry Road? I'm sure there's some out there, but I'm not one of them because my Sunday
team was always rooted somewhere near the foot of the table - as you know I was always better with the other shaped ball.
But I've been to a fair few up there, and it's a massive complex, with many pitches to choose from. When I was told last summer
that one of the teams to be admitted into the Central Midlands Premier League was Phoenix Sports and Social (incorporating
Elm Tree FC), I must admit to being a bit surprised, you see as good as the facilities are up there (the bar, the function
rooms, the pitches) I never imagined them anywhere near good enough for Uncle Frank's CMFL. On top of that the team they had
up there has been on a constant slump for quite some time, I know because the last time I was up there they took a right old
tonking from Parkgate Reserves, although I have to admit that WAS a couple of seasons ago. But this season they've had their
armourments bolstered by joining forces with Elm Tree FC, a team I also know quite a bit about, having seen them burst onto
the County Senior League scene in a blaze of glory in 2002. They swept all before them, and I remember them shocking me and
several others by beating Dinnington Town in the semi-final of the Sheffield Association Cup just up the road in Ridgway
Village, and then going on to win the final at Belle Vue...
That season Elm Tree were nigh
on invincible - well that might be stretching it a little bit - but they were good, and they won the CSL Division One title
comfortably. The same season Phoenix had a disaster and went the opposite direction, picking up two points and conceding
over 100 goals in 24 games, suffering some humiliating reverses. But that was the end of Elm Tree's fairytale, they were mediocre
the season after, poor the season after that and were relegated back down. Last season they were atrocious, so much so it
resembled the Phoenix season I mentioned a few seconds ago, and as for Phoenix - well they didn't even compete in the league!
Which basically summed up why I was shocked at their entry into this prestigious little league, how on earth could they be
expected to be competitive in a division that had just admitted rampant outfits like Kinsley Boys and Parkhouse, not forgetting
our old foes from Sutton Town who had also taken the step down. It was always looking like a tall order that they'd achieve
anything, in fact I actually feared for them, and expected them to be like lambs to the slaughter. That fear seemed founded
as Welbeck hammered them 7-2 on the opening day, and although they managed a couple of wins on the bounce, they had it all
stacked up against them in their first season - their ground wasn't "ready"...
Now I don't know the ins and outs about
this, all I can tell you is that from previous memory (and a little drive up to the complex in the summer) there wasn't a
pitch laid out good enough for the standard they were going to be playing, so some hard work was going to have to be achieved
to get them up and running. That meant that the first nine league games were to be played away from home, and from those they
performed better than I expected, getting ten points - including a win at Sutton Town! The challenge for them after was they
needed to capitalise on their home games to have a chance, so when they moved into residence at the bum end of September
they had a string of three consecutive home games, and they lost the lot - 0-6, 0-6 and 0-5! Absolutely disastrous I thought,
and it confirmed my worst fears, Phoenix were going to be a one-season wonder like Sheepbridge and others before them. Thankfully
though they've picked up their feet, won a couple of games, including a win at another of those teams I mentioned (Parkhouse)
and pushing the other one all the way at Kinsley. So now they are sitting in the lower mid-table, a place much higher than
I'd predicted, and with a sustained run of form I can see them avoiding the dreaded re-election process. But the last leg
of 2007 was going to be against the team they started their CMFL campaign against - Welbeck Welfare - a team I seriously
have mixed feelings about...
Without wanting to rake up all the bad
crap of the past, I'll be brief and say I had a bad experience the first time I went to Welbeck; I had all my tyres punctured
- deliberately. On a football side though, I absolutely love watching Welbeck, you can be assured of seeing goals, goals and
more goals. That first time I saw Welfare they scored five goals - AND LOST 7-5 - and subsequent visits have produced a 4-7,
a 7-1 and (a rather sad) 1-2. All of them had one common denominator, and that was the guy who appeared to break a goal-scoring
drought each time I turned up with a flurry of goals - Dean Rick. Now this young man has managed to bang in FOUR goals in
three of those four games I've seen, so any worries I'd have about this being goal-less would be few to say the least, and
if the law of averages were anything to go by today's result would be Phoenix 4 Welbeck 4 (with Rick getting three of them)
- based on the fact I'd seen an aggregate of 17-17 in those four Wellie games. And that wouldn't be out of character going
on this season's form either, Welbeck have scored 60 goals, conceding 61 goals, in the 21 games prior to today. So add that
to the point Phoenix's defence had leaked in 66 goals in 22 games, this was going to be an absolute goal-fest, guaranteed...
although you know what I say about guarantees in football - the are none whatsoever...
The wind was howling even harder than
last night when I set off, which I must admit was 1.35 pm, and by the time I rolled up at Pavilion Lane it was 1.45 and the
sun was shining - but that wind was even harder blowing across the face of the hill from Canklow. The ground has been set
up behind the cricket pitch in front of you as you come up the drive, with the feature pitch now having a tea-bar and shelter,
both of which came in very handy on a day like today. You actually get a decent view across the valley, which although giving
an industrial landscape, also gives you a nice vista of Boston Castle on the hill at the other side. Naturally when the wind
gets up it really will affect the football up here, so when the home officials were chasing the Perspex dugout which
had blown over the wall, quality was always going to be at a premium. But at least the rain as holding off, for the time being
at least, and the pitch was in fine fettle. The game as expected had plenty of incident, and Phoenix went in front midway
through the half from Chris Spooner, although that lasted just a few minutes as (who else but) Dean Rick fell lucky with an
offside call to equalise. Just before the break Lee Dexter made it 2-1 for Phoenix, and everything was looking rosy and promising,
but the second half all that promise turned to ashes. Alex Hickey drove the ball in to equalise early on, the Rick virtually
walked the ball in to make it 2-3, before the same man created a fourth which looked like an own goal (even if it was credited
to Chris Murphy). Phoenix ended the game with ten men, much to the ire of the fifty or sixty present, although not with the
referee - it was the player they were angry with.
From what I can see Phoenix will finish
around the spot Welbeck normally finish in the league, they'll win a few; lose a few more along the way. And when the dust
settles they'll be safe from re-election, but nowhere near challenging the top spots, but that is much better than I'd predicted
for them in the run up to the season start. But what for the future? I doubt that floodlights will go up just yet, the ground
isn't fully enclosed yet, and it is a fair bit away from Supreme Division standards. But this is early in the timeline of
Phoenix Sports, and things can go from strength to strength, so there's nothing to say that they can't be the next Dinnington
Town. The people here obviously want to achieve more than "parks' football", and that is to be commended, the more teams we
have around the area like Phoenix Elm Tree the better. For one thing it'll give people like me more options of watching a
decent standard of football, when their own team have suffered a cancellation, and without having to travel too far. And that
my friends is what I like...
Jaunt No. 17
Rushden and Higham United 1 Whitworths
1
United Counties League Division One
Friday, 29/12/07
Right at the start of the season - pre-season
and the second Jaunt to be exact - I waffled on about the admiration I had for a certain Conference team. Despite the
fact that this particular team must have seen me coming, what with the extortionate cost of tickets and parking, I still have
a bit of a soft spot for them. What I also touched on was the fact that I'd seen this team in a former (pre-merger) incarnation,
at their old ground, but assumed that was derelict and long forgotten. Well imagine my (kind of) surprise when a programme
sent by a colleague of mine in this game hit the doormat, and I opened it up and read that the fixture was played
at that very ground, and amazingly it was still in use and had been modernised somewhat. Never mind the fact this colleague
had told me he was going to this game on about three occasions prior, it was the sight of the ground's name that made me site
up and go "Hayden Road... Hayden Road... Hayden Road... now where have I heard that name before?" Someone once told me that
I must have the best memory in football, but believe me I have a "dartboard memory" to say the least; sometimes I hit a single
five - the next time BULL'S-EYE! This time I was hitting around the edge of the double-five for about twenty minutes, which
was before I had the common-sense to look at the front page to see who it was he'd been to see, then it hit home. On the front
was the legend Rushden and Higham United Football Club, and before it takes YOU twenty minutes to work it out, let me
help - Hayden Road... former home of Rushden Town, soon to be merged with the Diamonds...
Okay so when I was sorting out my Christmas
week's fixtures out it looked kinda straightforward, after all it was going to be Club versus Stocky at the BFS on Boxing
Day, followed by Colwyn Bay on the Saturday - with nothing on the Thursday or Friday. But whilst I was perusing the forums
(I know that's not right, but I hate using the word "fora", it doesn't sound right) I came across an odd fixture in the United
Counties League, one that was to be played on Friday night with no other attractions for miles, it was a piece of fixture
planning that came straight from the top closet of a master commercial expert. Now I'm sure many people would take one look
at Rushden and Higham United versus Whitworths in the calendar and go - "wouldn't touch that with yours" - but this actually
fitted nicely with my plans. As working arrangements go, Christmas is always a bit odd for me, the weeks leading up to the
festive period is nuts and the chances of getting any time of worth off before is impossible, but after - well that's a different
story. So I was finishing up on Friday pretty early, and with no work to have to get up for or suffer on the Saturday, a Friday
night game was all I needed to make for a decent weekend off. With that in mind I decided I would be able to go that li'l
bit further, stretch my wings so to speak, and a trip to Northamptonshire - whilst being a little on the lengthy side - was
not stretching it too far...
So, Rushden and Higham United Football
Club, eh? Sounds a little bit like another Rushden merger doesn't it? Well believe it or not it IS another merger, this time
between Rushden Rangers and Higham Town; the former a team that finished at the foot of the Northants Combination Football
League - the latter a mid-table team from the UCL Division One. But what is it with teams habitually merging in this neck
of the woods? That I can't answer, but the way this went was that Higham needed £125,000 to get a new stadium built to move
them forward, and Rushden had a stadium but no team of any worth. Have you heard this story before? I should hope so; it was
in the last bloody Jaunt that's all, with TNS and Oswestry! But this time there isn't a wealthy benefactor, or a Max Griggs
to help them on their way, this is a grassroots team run by grassroots people for the community. This is the amalgamation
of two teams, smaller than Sheffield FC, and for that matter smaller than someone like Armthorpe. And using Armthorpe as an
example, imagine they wanted to improve things round there and merge with say... I don't know, Hatfield Main... there'd be
a few raised eyebrows, but generally it'd be a case of "well good luck to them" and let's get on with life...
The inaugural UCL season for the Lankies
(don't ask - no, really don't. I have no idea...) hasn't been that kind, their average attendance before tonight was 53 (although
I expect with this being the only fixture for miles tonight that will be boosted), whilst they've only managed to win one
of their seven home games to date. Before tonight's game they were languishing in twelfth spot, which as I've learnt isn't
what they were aiming to get from this season, especially as they've finished sixth in their final pre-merger season. But
progress is measured in more ways than one, and it could be argued that this season is one of settling in, a claim that couldn't
be laid at the door of tonight's visitors from Wellingborough. Whitworths are the reigning Division One champions, but they
couldn't take their place in the top division due to the (lack of) facilities, which was sad really as they went through last
season undefeated. Before that they finished third, and before that they finished second; I guess you could call the Flourmen
(I know, I know) a bit of power at this level - even if they aren't self-raising (tut-tut Jamesie)... So tonight's game was
going to be a test for Rushden, and seeing as the reverse fixture in August ended in a convincing 3-0 victory for Whitworths
(who are currently in second place), it was going to be a measure of how far the hosts had come in four very short months...
What did worry me was the weather, which
as anyone should know has been pretty dire of late to be honest, and for most of today I've been trying to ascertain whether
or not the game would go ahead. With a journey of nearly two hours ahead of me, and no alternatives if it fell foul of the
conditions, it was a risky proposition. All the websites were giving off positive vibes, but I was scared of a last minute
failure, and with it a wasted journey. Looking at the forecasts it seemed the weather I was leaving in Sheffield would be
meeting me down in Northamptonshire later on, and that my friends as I pulled away from my drive was "rain, and lots of bloody
wind", a case of wrap up warm and drive safely along the way. As it turns out I was lucky, the place was nearly dry when I
landed, but this was going to be a bit of a grueller if anything. Finding the ground was easy, just off the A6, the haunting
glow of the floodlights confirmed to me that everything would go ahead and any worry about parking (which I vaguely remember
from yonks gone by) was a bit silly really. Unlike Diamonds' Nene Park ground that I passed on the way down, this ground is
in Rushden town itself, and not Irthlingborough. Last season they were playing in the township between those two, in Higham
Ferrars on the north side of Rushden, but apparently it wasn't a patch on the new ground.
Looking at Hayden Road from the outside
you get the impression this is a tidy little ground; the stand by the road looks impressive and new-ish, dressed as it
is with new corrugated cladding - whilst the boundary fences are nice, new and wooden. I knew the Football Foundation had
stumped up for renovations, and everything was as I'd expected, that was until I went in. Now remember the last time I went
was in the early eighties (I think) so I fully expected many changes, but even though I'd been warned about the stand, it
still came as a bit of a surprise to see the same old wooden stand that was there on my last visit was still standing. Yes,
not as proud as back then, but with a new roof - and clad with the corrugation as I've already said - but as derelict as any
as I've seen. It looked a pretty sad sight, and with it being fenced off and bolted up it was obvious to any idiot it wasn't
safe to use (the big holes in it gave that away), the only thing that was using this particular vantage point tonight was
Rushden's resident fox. Yes, that's right a fox - as in Basil Brush, or for you smart-arses vulpes-vulpes - which
spent the whole game scurrying around behind the backs of the watching crowd! But I digress (again), the changing rooms were
evidently still underneath the stand, I can't tell you how good they are - but I doubt they are up to much. Yes, the ground
looked really tired, but it isn't all doom and gloom...
The Football Foundation grant has obviously
helped them spruce the joint up a bit, there is a new covered stand on the far side (I didn't head over there, but the majority
of the twenty or thirty groundhoppers present bunked themselves across to shelter from the storm), and they appear to have
installed a brand new set of floodlights. Strangely these state-of-the-art pylons stand alongside the rusting old ones,
which gives the impression there are six or seven sets on the old stand side, and the wind was giving these a right old battering
- and guess which set looked as if they were going to come crashing down? I have to at this point tell you about the
welcome I got; with the weather I had decided to set off a little earlier than usual, so I could get down safely in the inclement conditions.
Naturally that meant I was pulling up to the gate far too early, so like everyone else seemed to be doing I headed down
to the local Chinese Chippy, and on my way I must have passed a half dozen assorted Rushden players and officials - each
of whom gave us a smile, nod or greeting. Now unless I look like some local celeb or what I don't know, but when I went to
get in to the bar (which wasn't there the last time I came, but don't read owt into that, it did look as though it had been
there some time) the guy at the pay-gate was as courteous as anyone I've met, as was the lass behind the bar. But the real
test was could this welcome be matched by a game of footy to match? Well...
The wind really battered this fixture,
it seriously hampered the threat of anything like a decent game, with neither side able to produce the goods to master the
conditions. To be half honest I was partly regretting coming to this after the first half, the game was really that bad, and
I had an awful feeling that this one would end up as goal-less as my last trip to see a Rushden side. There weren't many chances
created by either side, and to be honest the game had a spiteful nature about it, with the referee being far too lenient against
some of the challenges - particularly some of those that were flying in from the Whitworths' players. But then lo' and behold
midway through the second half the deadlock was broken, and it was a goal to suit the nature of the game, a right old scrappy
one that saw the visitors' keeper Craig Patterson drop a cross at the feet of Steve Ainge who eventually stabbed it home.
It looked for half a second that a shock was on the cards, but the Whitworth players gave a rallying scream and went on an
all-out assault which paid dividends within ninety seconds; a rasping shot from Matt Freeman hit the bar - leaving his namesake
in the Rushden goal Michael squirming and stranded - giving Devon Ellwood the easiest task of tapping in the empty net. Well
that was the scoring, and whilst the Flourmen pressed for a late winner they never really looked as if they could grab the
vital goal, a draw was the final and most diplomatic result.
There's still a fair way for Rushden
and Higham to go in my opinion, the standard of football tonight was probably equal to that of the lower league in the NCEL,
or possibly that of the CMFL Supreme - and (remembering Whitworths are supposed to be the best at this level) they looked
well shy of being anywhere near their calibre. The ground still needs a bit doing to it, and it is still nowhere near the
best or progressive set up I've been to this season, but here's the thing... the people I met at this club are as decent,
committed and hard working as any I've seen in a while. At the start of the season I was talking about teams I admire, Rushden
and Diamonds were near or at the top of that list, but my opinion changed somewhat after my visit. Twenty five or so years
have passed since I came to Hayden Road, the old tenants have moved out - they got big and got greedy - the new tenants
have moved in, and I wish them a happy life in their new home. To the committee, the volunteers, the players, and the management...
and of course, the fox that lives in the derelict, condemned stand... I hope to add Rushden and Higham United to that
list of teams I admire in the very near future!
Jaunt No. 16
The New Saints 3 NEWI Cefn Druids 0
Principality League of Wales Premier Division
Friday, 14/12/07
"They'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions
tonight!" Jeff Stelling, Sky Sports Soccer Saturday.
I'm always up for a bit of European football I am, I guess
a look through the archive of this column is testimony to that, after all I reckon I've done articles from about ten
or so countries. So when the question "do I fancy a Friday night-er" cropped up in conversation, I was hardly going to say
no given my previous bleatings in favour of football on this particular night, but I never banked on adding another country
to my repertoire. It's at this point I was going to mention I'd only ever been to one game in Wales before tonight, and that
was in the Welsh Cup when I saw the then mighty Barry Town visit Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
(FC), but I'd forgotten about trips to Wrexham... and Cardiff... and Newport County... and Swansea... and my sister used to
live at Connah's Quay, I once went to see the Nomads play there... and Neath Athletic when she lived down there... and Abergavenny...
I'm going to stop now. Okay so I've been to a lot more Welsh clubs than I'd previously thought I had, but I never seriously
had much call to add to the list, but tonight I was going to be doing just that even if I wasn't even going to cross the border.
It seems that in a mountain to Mohammed parallel, I won't even be going to Wales to watch the Welsh Champions, the Welsh Champions
play in England!
TNS have been playing in Wales since they were formed, which
was way back in 1959 in the tiny village of Llansantffraid-ym-Mechain (population 1,000), and are pretty well known by all
and sundry as the best team in Wales - probably from the legendary quote at the top of the page. Ten years ago they became
the first team in the United Kingdom to change its name to that of its sponsors, Total Network Solutions, and have made quite
an impact on the footballing scene - like Rushden and Diamonds earlier on in the season, they are a team whose name is instantly
recognisable by "the man in the street". There are a few reasons for this, one is Mr Stelling of course, the other is
their ability to dominate the League of Wales with alarming regularity - plus the fact they've crossed the paths of some pretty
big names in their European exploits. Manchester City were one of the teams, playing the home tie at the Millennium Stadium,
whilst Liverpool were far from convincing when they came up against them last season. Just recently though, they've "merged"
(if merged is an accurate term - more like taken over) with Shropshire team Oswestry Town, with the team moving lock stock
and barrel to Llansantffraid whilst the Oswestry site was refurbished. At the start of this season they moved back, thus making
the current Welsh champions host their home games in England, a strange situation - but it was the trigger for tonight's visit...
It isn't the only thing that's changed about TNS, they've
changed their name to The New Saints too, a nod towards the old nickname of Llansantffraid FC - whilst casting an equal nod
to St Oswald, the Saint who got killed on the site of what is now Oswestry. Cleverly as well, they've managed to retain the
initials of their former sponsors, who now it seems have been taken over by British Telecom. So it's a new era all round,
and the Saints are favourites to retain the title they've held for the last three seasons, but that's hardly surprising seeing
as they are a fully professional outfit. Which gets me really, they get less through the turnstiles than Sheffield FC, and
a look at some of the players in the squad boast C.Vs that include recent playing stints at clubs in our league. Yet they
are regulars in Europe (as I said earlier), and although they never seem to progress past the first qualifying rounds, there
is an expectation that they'll be competing alongside the Barça, Inter, Real aristocracy within the next few years. Personally
I have to have a little snigger to myself about that aim, it is a little over ambitious for my liking to say the least, and
I find it as hard to stomach as Club stating they want to be in the league by 2012. I seriously doubt that will happen, but
it won't stop me or others looking out to see how they get on in the opening rounds next season, probably against someone
from Latvia or Lithuania...
Domestically though they are giants amongst ants, and it's
only this season that they have been joined by Llanelli in the "fully-professional" stakes, after being the only one is this
bracket for a couple of years. That's something that is a little scary from my point of view, having seen Barry Town dominate
the LOW for a lengthy period of time, before spectacularly imploding financially. You really can't see how you could be fully
pro in this league, unless you have a wealthy backer, who - as luck may have it - TNS have. But like all teams in this category
(Chelsea, anyone?), the grey scenario is that of "what happens when the money man gets bored and pulls his money out", and
frankly if that happens to a team the size of TNS they will surely go to the wolves. But the man at the helm is Mike Harris,
and to be fair he comes across as someone who wants the best for the club, and it was he who showed the nous to take the Saints
forward with the merger. You see the original Llansantffraid team wanted to build a new stadium capable of hosting European
football; the FA of Wales though wouldn't allow them to build across the border, as it wasn't in their constitution to
permit their members to play outside the principality. But Harris spotted a loophole, and seeing as Oswestry were founder
members of the Welsh FA, they had special dispensation to play European games in England. A merger then was a very clever
proposition, and Mr TNS was quick to move...
So it was the need for a bigger, better stadium that
brought TNS to Oswestry, and it was that which brought myself and Neil to tonight's game. Neither of the old grounds were
up to much by all accounts, I can't say having never been, but I know of several who had and the reports weren't that hot.
To be honest I don't know what I was expecting, and after having a nice little two-hour drive (as passenger) from Belper,
it was a decent surprise to be met by some pretty modern facilities. Well, I knew it wasn't going to be a field and a tea-hut,
but this was something else. I'll tell you about the bar in a bit, but the ground was a little short on facilities, which
did shock me a bit. It is basically a railed off pitch, remembering these are national champions, with a temporary 250 seater
stand stuck in a corner. Doesn't sound very impressive does it? But here's the thing - it's a work in progress,
and whilst 24 hours later the games around the nation were falling like flies to the frost, this game was never in doubt.
Why? Well like that pitch in Moscow, the one at Park Hall is one of those grounds that has the new generation Ligaturf™ pitches, which feels (I know, I HAD to stand on it to find out) like normal grass. So postponements are never
going to happen, and although they have the logistical issues of having corner flags (and goals) that can't be inserted into
the ground, they can hire out the pitch to locals for other activities and pay off some of the £3 million it cost to build
the facility.
The bar though, as I said earlier, is something else. And
whilst there isn't much in the way of spectator facilities, the balcony at the Venue (the bar's name) gives a view as good
as any of those at Bedworth at the beginning of the week, overlooking the pitch and giving some excellent corporate hospitality
areas. We decided to get into the ground first before joining the throng in the bar, and we had to have our hand stamped to
get back in, a bit hard to explain why really - but when you see that the bar was also being used for a pretty large
Christmas party, plus there were punters who were just there for ten-pin bowling - it does sort of make sense, even if it
does take a day or so to remove (and explain why you have) the Hog something-or-other logo on the back of your hand. Inside
it is as plush as any you'd find in the lobby of a decent hotel; forget all the "nice bars" mentioned in this series beforehand,
this is the nicest. There were pretty comfortably two-seater sofas aplenty, and the whole set up was really, well... erm,
nice. It becomes hard to explain why, but the people present would hardly have been there in such numbers if it had been just
your bog-standard footy social club, this facility is one that will easily pull its money back in no time at all. It seems
the club have got their priorities right with this one, of that I have no doubt, and when they become settled in the addition
of some permanent seated stands around the ground will make this team the envy of many around the United Kingdom.
But what about the football? Well the game was a local derby
of sorts; the visitors were from just ten miles up the road in Cefn-Mawr, the legendary NEWI Cefn Druids who Club met pre-season
the other year. Seeing as they are still going by the semi-pro ethic like the rest of the league, the Oldest Club
in Wales are hardly going to be challenging at the top, so - as far as tonight was going to go - an away win wasn't going
to be the most likely of results, even if they'd come out on top in the previous two encounters this season. And it wasn't,
and after TNS ran in three goals in the first twenty minutes, it was looking like there would be a cricket score to write
about. Scott Ruscoe put the Saints in front after five minutes, a good goal after some good build up play, which drew raucous
roars and cheers from the 213 present. Only it didn't - the response from a crowd twice the size as the one at Bedworth 72
hours earlier gave a disappointingly polite smattering of applause, all right it was cold, but at least show some passion
for God's sake! It was like watching a pre-season friendly with the (lack of) atmosphere, but the standard of football from
TNS was exhibition stuff, with the passing reminiscent of the great (and yes it was great) Luton side when we had the plastic
pitch. Fifteen minutes in Ruscoe got a second, after Luke Holden helped with some good build up play, and on twenty
minutes Holden walked in a clinical third after the Druids keeper Chris Mullock committed himself embarrassingly.
So with seventy minutes to play, and with TNS playing some
fantastic on-the-floor football, it looked like we could end up in double figures. Well that turned out to be a wrong assumption,
and the Druids shut up shop, and put an end to the liberal amount of chances they were allowing their hosts. And with that
the scoring ended, but it was enough to give the Saints all three points, and with it extend their lead at the top of the
table. But are they good enough to challenge the likes of Barça and Inter? Well no, they aren't, but based on what I saw tonight
they are good enough to get a scalp or two under their belt next season. The thing they will need to achieve is to get the
ground in to some kind of shape in the next few months, otherwise it'll be another loan of the Racecourse Ground at Wrexham,
but as I said it is still a work in progress. I can picture TNS having a ground to be envied in the next few years, and if
they can get a team to match, well who knows what they'll achieve. And when that happens, and when they start winning some
games in Europe, they truly will be "dancing in the streets of The New Saints"... Mr Stelling...
Jaunt No. 15
Bedworth United 0 Evesham United 1
Southern League Division One Midland Division
Tuesday, 12/12/07
Bloody winter's here isn't it? I could just put a full stop
here and finish the article here and now, but I won't. It gets really frustrating from a football point of view when the weather
hits as stupid as it has this last week or so; first the rain comes and washes away my midweek plans last week, then Sheffield's
game goes by the wayside, then we get a ridiculous cold snap. It's enough to make you give up hope! I remember a few seasons
ago we had a similar situation, and if my memory serves me I went about two or three weeks without any football, it drove
me crazy. I spent more time on the phone to club secretaries, more in hope than owt else, begging God to make them tell me
their game was on - which it never was. It wasn't just me that was narked by the whole experience, the missus suffered as
well, and she was willing the weather to abate so she could get my long face out the door. After about six postponements at
the Coach, I headed down to the Sutton vicinity, where no less than FOUR games were scheduled one Tuesday evening and all
of them were having late inspections. I decided if I was down there, well you only have a ten minute drive between any of
them, after trying Sutton (off) and Blackwell (off) I was in luck when the guy at the gate at South Normanton told me they
were on. What followed was a fantastic see-saw battle, which ended 6-4, and it cheered me up no end - so I have had a right
old soft spot for South Normo ever since, and I look out for their results just about every weekend.
I know, I know, this has got bugger all to do with South
Normanton, I'm writing about Bedworth! But I was going to go to South Normanton honestly, that was up until about twelve hours
before the kick off of the game I was heading to, and then I noticed it'd been put back 24 hours. It pee-ed me off even more
that, especially as I'd actually driven down there a week earlier to find the gates locked and lights off, my old reliable
had suffered a waterlogged pitch of all things. So, as that parrot says in Pirates of the Caribbean, "any port in a storm!"
That port as you can gather was Bedworth, surprisingly one of the grounds I hadn't yet been to, and well within striking range
of Sheffield. A quick ring to the clubhouse confirmed the game was on - well actually I assumed it was confirmation as
the girl at the other end said "no reason why it should be off 'bab', they're all here getting ready" (I felt like asking
if that was a proper Coventry accent, and not a Cod Brummie one instead - oh, you have to seen Soccer AM to get that) -
and I carried on down the M69 to find the Oval. But seeing as I haven't got SatNav, it was going to be a case of lucky charms
to find this one, and all I remember was when me and my mate Neil went to the Ricoh in February him pointing down the opposite
way saying "Beduff play down there just off the main road". Good job I've got a good memory, off I sailed in that vague
direction, and Robert's your auntie's husband - there it was!
The ground is just off the Coventry Road, and has a similarity
with many in this area (and Belper), with you driving into the ground - walking back and paying the gateman. But that's where
the similarity ends with the majority, this one had me recalling a trip in the summer to Buxton speedway where you parked
on a bank behind one of the goals, not that a speedway track has goals - but I'm sure you know what I mean. Yes this is really
one of those grounds that lives up to its name, the Oval, the whole complex is shaped in just that fashion surrounded by giant
trees. I had been "planning" to come here for some time, and by "some time" I mean this season, so like with most I plan to
go to I surfed the ground on that maps.live.com website that allows you to "fly" into the ground. So it wasn't much of a surprise
when I got there, but I was still struggling for comparisons with other venues, it really is kinda unique. The main stand
reminded me of the one at Sutton Coldfield earlier in the season, with a view of the action that was second to none, although
I might be wrong. Opposite the stand is the clubhouse, which was as plush as any I've encountered this season, the roof however was
used during the game as a clear vantage point by quite a few people. That isn't something I've seen many times before,
not legally anyway, and I wouldn't have minded having a nosey from up there - that is if it wasn't so bloody cold...
Going back to the clubhouse, as I said it was pretty
damned neat, but it was hardly the most packed bar I've ever seen. The level of support the Greenbacks (nickname alert) get
surprised me, but as I said in the Romulus / Sutton Coldfield article, the crowds at Midlands non-league football is dreadfully
low. There are exceptions to the rule, Leamington are naturally one, and the other at the moment is Chasetown - but I reckon
they are being boosted by glory hunters during their five minutes of fame. Bedworth are getting between 100 - 150 for home
games, yet the loyalty of the support is hard to be judgmental against, not if the "showing of colours" is anything to go
by. A pretty high percentage of the home support were decked out in green, and to be fair they had a bloody good selection
of supporters goods for sale inside the bar, and for such a small turn out they made enough noise. Not singing or anything
like that, but general encouragement (and the occasional baying at the referee), and that I admire. On a cold winter evening
with sub-zero temperatures, there are plenty of things more enticing than heading out to watch a non-league football match
(like Champions League football), but as I said in the first paragraph I'm not that sort of person who gets swayed by those
kinds of creature comforts - and I'm glad to say that I was joined by 103 others who were like-minded...
Whilst I was sat in the bar having a nice warming pint
of Coors, I was scanning the programme (as you do), and it had a "Form and Finish" page. Don't ask me how this works, it had
me intrigued, but they have predicted how the league will finish - right down to the wins, draws, losses and goals. It had
tonight's visitors from Evesham as potential champions, and as I said I can't figure out how, but they re going to pip Sutton
Coldfield by a point to win the title. Bedworth were going to finish in ninth, which meant they would drop a place from where
they are now, whilst the Robins (nickname alert) would rise an astonishing five places. I just had this one down as a mid-table
bumble, what I didn't know was it was going to be the start of a relentless march to the title by the team from Worcester,
or maybe it wasn't. Either way, don't expect me or Craig to start messing around with crystal balls in the not-too-distant
future; it only sets you up to be shot down. To be truthful though I was expecting this to be a tight game on current form
alone, with the home side on an unbeaten run of six games, and the visitors having an extended run of eight games without
loss. Both teams were full of confidence, but with the pitch frosting over by the minute, it looked like it was going
to be hard to predict - and like the Hatton fight at the weekend - "one of the 0's has to go!"
At the start of this article I was telling you about how
lucky I was to stumble on that South Normo versus Blidworth game, well I can tell you this now, lightning doesn't ever strike
twice. This was a right pup of a game, and it's a long time since I was counting the minutes left of a game so early,
I reckon I was clock watching and praying for the final whistle just after half time. There was just the one goal, and that
wasn't that memorable, after fifteen minutes when Bedworth failed to deal with a throw in and Evesham's Danny Scheppel poked
it home. Before the break the visitors could have had another three at least, but poor finishing saw to that little ray of
potential sunshine, whilst Bedworth - well they were pretty drab. Then the second half came, which highlighted a scrappy
game between two scrappy sides, and frankly I didn't enjoy it at all. The only comfort was that I could watch with great
unimpeded clarity the last five minutes from the warmth and comfort of my car behind the goal, whilst listening to the results
on the radio, then at full time it was a quick scarper back home. But don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad night, the football
was dire but everything else... well, I've said it before and say it again - it ticked all the boxes needed for non-league
footy. So it was a scrappy 1-0, Bedworth will probably finish mid-table, and if that old adage about champions scraping unlikely
(and dull) away wins rings true - well that programme editor must have got a decent crystal ball or know summat we don't
know about Evesham United, 2008 Southern League Division One Midland Division Champions!
Jaunt No. 14
Altofts 1 Yorkshire Amateur 5
Northern Under 19 Alliance West Division
Monday, 03/12/07
Following on from West Bridgford was
a short trip up the M1 (and along the M62 a couple of junctions) to Altofts, who to be fair are a completely different proposition,
in more than one way. Firstly Altofts have a senior side, albeit not a very strong one, which competes in the West Yorkshire
League Division One. Now this isn't a league that is renowned for its teams' youth policies, although Premier Division Field
Sports of Bradford have a youth side that plays in the same division as Altofts, which makes a trip to see how they perform
all the more intriguing. The thing is that Altofts' junior sides are one of the stronger set-ups in a Rugby League orientated
neighbourhood, but even so a trip to compete against the youth teams of clubs like Guiseley, Thackley, Farsley Celtic, Bradford
Park Avenue, Liversedge, Eccleshill and (Sheffield's FA Youth Cup conquerors) Silsden must be pretty daunting. Not surprisingly
their debut season hasn't kicked off in the best fashions, and they're sitting at the foot of the table, having been on the
receiving end of some pretty hefty defeats - losing their last game 7-1 at home to Thackley. The main reason for this is that
the majority of the players are just graduating from Under 16s or 17s football, and as you can imagine (or remember as I do)
the step from schools to youth football is massive, so this season is more or less a "feeling your way" session. Another difference
between the Altofts set up and the West Bridgford set up is (as I alluded to earlier) the competition from other sports; let's
face it Nottingham has two pretty big Football teams that influence the way lads in the area choose their sport, Altofts on
the other hand have to compete with the Cas-Fev-Wakey triangle of Rugby League. Alright, quite a few round that neck of the
woods are inclined towards Leeds United, but that's nothing compared to the pull of three tradition stronghold teams
in the oval ball game.
But the set up at Lock Lane is still
quite impressive; I remember when the lights were put up at the ground, and I was convinced that they would be vying for a
move into NCEL football. Well that never happened, and for some reason I'm not too sure about the DID move from the West Riding
League, but only sideways into the WYL. During their tenure in the WRCAFL they hosted League Cup finals and looked as though
they could waltz up the leagues, I remember seeing them winning in a divisional league cup tie a few seasons ago (at Brighouse
if I remember rightly), then a few days later I watched one of the other finals at THEIR ground. I reckon that even those
of you who have never heard of Altofts AFC, or for that matter have no idea whereabouts Altofts even is, will have seen the
ground - especially if you've been to see Sheffield FC at Glasshoughton. Yes, Lock Lane is the little ground you can see from
the M62 on your right as you head eastbound, with the small covered terrace and floodlights. It looks kinda bijou from a distance,
and although it hasn't much in the way of hard standing, it is a ground that you have to admit is pretty well equipped for
this minor league. And despite its relative close proximity to the motorway, don't be deceived, it is a little swine to get
to from the exit. Like West Bridgford, the ground is also part of a Sports Club complex, sharing with Altofts Cricket Club.
Unlike their Nottingham counterparts though, the buildings and surroundings are a little more... weathered, shall we say?
The clubhouse is a little more dated, but lets face it if you want a beer or a half time cuppa; this still ticks all the right
boxes. And favourably against the Colts, these boys provide you with the biggest essential when it comes to non-league footy,
a nice little robust shelter that will protect from the elements. Tonight's opponents had travelled from the top end of Leeds
- the famous Yorkshire Amateur - a team with a couple of years' vital experience under their belt at this level, and a team
that wasn't making too bad a fist of their season so far. They too - like Sheffield - had progressed pretty well in the
FA Youth Cup, losing at the same hurdle to Dinnington Town. They'd had a few good results too, putting one over on the league
leaders Farsley Celtic along the way, so for them to come up against a young Altofts side... well I half expected the outcome...
The difference in experience of these
two teams was there for all to see, the Ammers looked physically bigger, and maturer in their style of play. They were quicker
too, with the long ball over the top leaving Altofts looking rather flat-footed; to say it looked like the visitors would
win would be an understatement. So when the Ammers took the lead after ten minutes it was no surprise - although the
naïveté of the defence really was - as a throw-in from the right was basically left by the defence, leaving
Lee Turnbull the easiest of jobs to turn the ball in from twelve yards. It was two-nil minutes later, as some slack defending
at a Steve Cooper corner allowed Turnbull to nip in at the near post and slot the ball home; it was looking like it could
be a landslide. But Altofts perked up a little, and some neat touches from a cheeky little front line left the big defenders
looking a bit daft really, but they couldn't pull a goal back. The visitors though looked like they could score for fun, if
they wanted, or if they could finish more likely. Just after the break Altofts gave the home support something to cheer, with
a free-kick from Josh Corbett floated into the middle, being headed home by Gareth Gibbons. Ammers made some tactical changes
and put the experienced (well he's played first team NCEL football and scored goals there anyway) Ben Roffe up front, but
the kid showed so much gullibility in being caught offside so many times by a high back four line, it looked like it could
be a frustrating night for him. That frustration lead to a fair amount of petulance which saw him being the only booking of
a good spirited game, but with fifteen minutes to go the Ammers put the game out of sight, with Adam Ryder showing fantastic
poise to flick up and volley home a cross from Andrew Thomas. Three became four moments after, Turnbull and Thomas combined
to set up Frank Collins, and a minute after that it was five as Turnbull completed his hat-trick. In the last ten minutes
Yorkshire Amateur could (and should) have added at least another three or four, but some pretty poor finishing and an excellent
goal-line clearance from Altofts' Robert Sambrook made sure that didn't happen, but to be honest neither side could have any
complaints of the final scoreline.
If there's one thing I've learnt from
watching football at this level it is this - don't write too much into the actual scoreline, you can tell more from the performance
and effort of the players on show. Altofts (as I said earlier) are a very young side, which means that the players playing
THIS season will more than likely be playing NEXT, and the difference is they will have the advantage of a season in
this league under their belts. So come this time next season we could be looking at a totally different picture in the
league, I just hope the boys at Altofts can keep their heads up and use this season as a learning experience, if they do they
have the promise to achieve whatever they want - and maybe (just maybe) they'll be able to take this great little club
to bigger and better things...
Jaunt No. 13
West Bridgford Colts 0 Rainworth Miners Welfare 2
North Midlands Under 19s League
Wednesday, 07/11/07
This column has covered football in all aspects since it
started; just about every domestic level from Premiership Football to Sunday League, International and Club football,
European Competitions and foreign leagues... even Futsal. You name it and it has been covered, but one area I've never
covered in these columns is the one that will form the future of our game, that is youth football. We are lucky at Sheffield
Club to have quite a decent little youth set up, with our under 19s squad currently one of the most talented we've had down
here for ages, as they proved with their FA Youth Cup exploits. Over the last couple of years our youngsters have gone on
to progress to senior football with varying amounts of success, and I have to admit looking at the local round ups in the
Green 'Un, spotting a familiar name from the past and saying with a certain amount of pride "that's one of ours!" But away
from the sacred walls of the Bright Finance Stadium I have very little in the way of experience of watching football at this
level, and to be honest the only Under 19s football I have seen NOT involving Club was a Sheffield United Academy
fixture one cold and windy Saturday morning at Shirecliffe when my lad Liam dragged me off to see Manchester City play there,
so with nothing that exciting on the horizon I thought it might spread my wings and look at a couple of games. Now for those
of you not up to speed at this level, Sheffield's youngsters compete in the North Midlands Under 19s League (top division,
thank you very much), whilst before that we competed in the Northern Under 19s Alliance. These two leagues are pretty much
at a similar standard, with the biggest difference being the geographic spread of the two, and to be truthful I think
the North Midlands League suits us a damn site better travel-wise. So what I intended to do was to take in a game from both
leagues, and do it within five days of each other, but the way plans worked out - work, school commitments, postponements
- it turned into a month apart instead. And to make it a bit more interesting I thought I might as well try and get to a couple
of places that don't normally crop up on the radar, so I decided to head for West Bridgford Colts from our league and Altofts
from the old league, making this more or less a two parter...
The first of the teams I was visiting was to be West Bridgford
Colts near Nottingham, which I was supposed to be visiting a week later, but as I was double booked with a trip to All-Saints
High School that day and my original planned game went tits up I brought it forward by seven days. Which was fortunate I guess
you could say, as the date I'd ended up at was the inauguration of the new floodlights, something that I never really
planned on. You see the prime requisite for these leagues is they are played at floodlit grounds, as it is primarily a midweek
league, and ninety percent of games are played at night - there are the exceptions, but I won't bore you with them. The Colts
play in Division Three in our league, but please don't let that fool you in anyway or form; the standard of football is pretty
much the same throughout the divisions with promotion and relegation a side issue here. Let me give you a little example of
that reasoning, also in Division Three this season are Staveley MW, who it just so happens were last season's Division Two
Champions - and everyone knows that you don't get relegated after winning a league unless you are called Juventus! West
Bridgford are one of a handful of teams that have this competition as their primary goal, effectively the Under 19s league
is as high as you can really go with the team at present, although word has been on the grapevine that they want to spread
into the world of open-age football - possibly going into either the NSL or the CMFL. At the moment though their most senior
team is the Under 19s, and this season is their first foray into this midweek twilight world of floodlit football, but it
hasn't started all plain sailing for them. They've had to play their first seven games of the season away from home, due to
the fact their new ground and lights weren't ready, but they've battled on manfully winning four of them and putting them
with the potential to finish strongly when home advantage kicks in.
On the subject of their ground, they have just moved into
their new spiritual home at Regatta Way, just down the lane from the National Watersports Centre at Holme Pierrepoint. It
effectively was an enforced move as they were victims of an arson attack on their Coronation Park clubhouse at the other end
of West Bridgford, which was their home since a few years after their inception in 1991, and as a consequence the
site was redeveloped for a school. The new site is not exactly palatial, but it is modern, in the same sort of Football Foundation
fashion as our local equivalent at Handsworth's Olivers Mount is. The main feature is the clubhouse; a new brick
built structure that still smells new, which looks to be more in keeping with a cricket pavilion than anything else. And to
be fair the whole complex looks and feels like it was once a cricket ground (which I've just found out it IS), with acres
of grass spreading beyond the pitch and clubhouse, giving enough room to comfortably fit another two full pitches and some
training space on it. But the main focus of the complex is the floodlit pitch, which has one of the nicest flattest surfaces
around I've seen for some time, but really nothing else but a railed off pitch. And to be honest at this stage that's all
a club like this really needs, though it could be argued if they decide to enter senior football ranks they could easily have
space to enclose the area, build a stand or two and have hardstanding - but that day isn't here yet, and there's no hurry.
The site has an ample car-park, and I could imagine that in the summer the ground and surrounding area is quite pleasant,
tonight though the autumn nip means it is quite cold and exposed. As I said earlier though, at least there is a nice clubhouse
to shelter in with a nice hot Bovril at half time, alternatively - with a bit of creative parking - you could even sit and
watch the game from the warmth of your car...
To cut the tapes (metaphorically) at this new ground was
Rainworth Miners Welfare "Tigers" Under 19s outfit, who are another new addition to the North Midlands League this season,
but their roots go a lot further and deeper than sixteen years and serve the development of a reserve team and first team.
The two teams had already met in September at Kirklington, a fixture that should have dawned a new era by opening the Regatta
Way if it had been ready, as it was the game was switched with the Colts running out 3-2 winners. The way things stood before
the game was that West Bridgford could go top if they won their games in hand, and the way that Rainworth had started their
season - well the less said about that the better - they haven't won yet, so it goes without saying you'd expect the form
book to show a home win. Well that's not the way things work at this level - yep, the form book doesn't apply here - I was
expecting a home landslide and I didn't get one. Don't get me wrong, this was a game that was dominated by the home side,
but they had the mentality that meant they wanted to walk the ball into the net. Which of course thy didn't do, and this being
Nottingham the first thing to get the blame was the officials, not by the players - no, they were a real bunch of fine young
gentlemen, only giving the referee a few courteous "what for" cries - it was the spectators, who by and large are the parents,
friends and families of the players. The main thing for me in the majority of the Under 19s games I've seen, is the discipline
shown by the players, there is very little back-chat at all by the players - and of those that do, I can guarantee they've
had an exposure to first team football at the senior level. The Colts passed and moved and outplayed their opponents, but
to the frustration of the 150 or so present they couldn't get the dream start to life at Regatta Way, and a minute before
the break their frustration turned to anger when the referee REALLY got it wrong. A nothing ball went into the Colts' area which
was dealt with by the keeper Daniel Steane, the visitors' skipper Luke Thomas stabbed his foot into the keeper's head (albeit
accidentally) and the ball spilled loose, Thomas tapped it in to the net and amazingly the referee allowed it!
Cue absolutely everyone on the sideline going mental, and
for the one time on the evening I agreed them, it was a bad decision - but to tell the truth it wouldn't have been so
vital if they'd had taken any of the many chances that'd come their way. So come the second half I was expecting some kind
of retribution, but sadly it was more of the same with West Bridgford pushing and pushing, and Rainworth holding them at bay
- comfortably. Then with twenty minutes to go Rainworth got a free-kick just inside the hosts half, floated a ball more in
hope than aim, highest in the box was Thomas and he diverted the ball into the net. That was enough to knock the stuffing
out of the Colts, and true to form with younger inexperienced players, the heads went down and there was no way back. Overall
my impressions were one of a progressive little club, one that is held in high esteem in Nottinghamshire, and one that I really
hope to see dip a tentative foot into senior football in the near future. It's clear they have a good set up, with quite
a few good players in their midst, and a good structure in place. It appears however that they won't win the league title
at the first attempt, as their season seems to have stalled after this result, losing two of their three home games that followed
straight after this one. Either way I expect this team to be around for some time to come winning plenty more things along
the way, it's in the nature of a club like this. And no doubt with the way things go in this world, I expect the paths
of Sheffield FC and West Bridgford Colts to cross in the not too distant future - and when they do, expect a difficult
game, they won't be a pushover I can assure you...
Jaunt No. 12
Romulus 0 Sutton Coldfield Town 2
Errea Southern League Cup Round Two
Wednesday, 31/10/07
Quite a lot has been said about ground-sharing over the last
few days, especially by those lads at Behind the Flag, and not all of it good. Whilst there are obvious benefits to more than
one team using the facilities, the downsides (in my opinion) outnumber them considerably, and more often than not the wear
and tear of constant use tells. The pitch is the first thing to suffer, and if you don't have a groundsman as high standard
as Pete Bowden, then the next thing to suffer is the standard of football that is played on the pitch. Add to that it doesn't
feel like home, the tenants are just that, cuckoos in someone else's nest. Plus the landlords have a tendency to resent the
damage the tenants tenure is causing, even though they are probably well rewarded for the board and lodgings they provide,
and that latent animosity lends itself to the supporters. The tenants have to rely on gate monies and sponsorship deals (or
a sugar-daddy) to survive, whilst the entire bar takings go directly into the landlords' coffers, conversely it is the
landlords who have to stump up for maintenance as the lodgers sit back and let 'em get on with it. From my point of view you
can see I'm not that keen, but in the modern age needs must, and it appears to be a growing trend...
Around the Midlands this trend seems the strongest, there
appears to be this mind-set that has come about where if a team in this region wants to progress - yet haven't got the facilities
to suit - they take the easy option, which is to move in with someone else. A team I covered last season (Bartley Green)
have got a lovely little set-up, yet they weren't going to get the floodlights up in time (or at all - I'm not sure to be
honest) to take their rightful place in a higher division after winning the league, so what did they do? Yes they moved out
- and into another ready made ground at Tividale - adding to the growing number of lodgers. I'm not saying this isn't the
right move to make, so long as you don't make it permanent, you just have to look at Wimbledon to see how that's likely to
turn out. From this column's point of view, I would avoid visiting a "lodger team" like the plague; I prefer to visit when
the landlords are in town. But I decided the other week there could be a time when I visited a team in this situation, and
I'm not talking about when Club are visiting, I'm talking about the strange situation of when the landlords are the away team
- and the cuckoos are the hosts...
Probably the most famous lodgers in non-league football (excluding
the rash of AFC flat-packed teams that yelp like orphan puppies for our attention) is Romulus Football Club - and no
there isn't a Remus Football Club, they must hear that "joke" as much as we hear the "not unusual" for Tom Jones - a team
that's risen up the ranks pretty smartish, to be at the same level as Sheffield FC in no time at all. They started life as
a North Birmingham Sunday League team in 1979, finally deciding to move into Saturday football at the end of the 20th century,
and moving up through the Midland Combination to the Southern League via the Midland Alliance - achieving the feat in just
eight seasons. All this time they've never owned their own ground, and locals argue it is the lack of this concern that has
catapulted them up the pyramid so quickly, giving them the opportunity to pay higher wages to players. A part of me says this
has a bit of substance, the realistic side of me says it smacks of jealousy, that maybe so but the quality of the players
they've produced is hard to question. Premiership players Zat Knight, Luke Moore and Darius Vassell have all come up
through Romulus' ranks, and there are more that have made it too lesser league clubs.
It's been a nomadic existence for the Roms, after
a few years of living in sin at Paget Rangers' Vale Park ground, they moved into Sutton Coldfield Town's Coles Lane ground
- which incidentally is literally five minutes away from the playing fields they started life at in 1979. Success has become
second nature to Romulus, and apart from one season when they finished twelfth, they've finished in the top five of whatever
league they've played in. They won the Midland Combination Premier Division in 2004, along with the League Cup and the Floodlit
Cup, last season they finished second in the Midland Alliance - and like Sheffield FC - moved into the eighth level of English
football for the first time ever. Things couldn't be better for Romulus, and this season they've started as they finished
last season, pressing at the top of the table. Their benevolent landlords on the other
hand were formed 100 years earlier, and for just about the entire life of Romulus have been stagnant in the same division
- the Southern League Division One - never achieving anything at all, in fact their best was a sixth place about six
years ago, they truly have been also-rans and stuck in the mud.
So when Romulus got promoted that scenario of them both using the
away dressing rooms at their own ground came into play, and although they haven't met in the league yet, the two teams have
been drawn out of the hat together in the FA Cup. Both games ended in draws, 1-1 when Sutton were at home, and 4-4 when the
Roms were the hosts - naturally home advantage played a major part in Sutton's subsequent penalty shoot out win! What did
come as a surprise was the attendances for these games, as over the last few seasons both teams have really lacked the support
in numbers their bigger neighbours seem to command, with over 300 turning up for the replayed game (250 turned up for the
first game) - quite a contrast to the 100 hardy souls who roll up week in week out to see either team when
they play at Coles Park. And tonight once again this meeting is a cup game, the League Cup though, either way it should be
an interesting contest as the teams occupy third (Romulus) and fourth (Sutton) places in the league - only lagging behind
the real "money clubs" of Leamington and Chasetown. It's unlikely the game will command a massive crowd, but it should give
me an idea of the subject matter of this piece, namely the relationship between landlords and tenants.
The ground they share is (as I said earlier) Coles Lane in the leafy
suburbs of Sutton Coldfield, and to be fair it is as good as it needs to be at this level, with a big stand elevated above
the dugouts at one side - complete with wooden bench seats (plus posh plastic ones for the directors) - a covered terrace
to the corner of the other touchline, plus a hang-to cover behind the far goal, meaning you can stand at whichever side your
side is attacking and stay dry. Surrounded by houses, I guess you could say it is a traditional old non-league ground - the
Royals (Sutton Coldfield Town) have been playing there since the 1920s - it seems like so many others that it gives you a
sense of déjà-vú; you really do feel like you've been here before even when you know full well that you haven't. The bar is
one from times of yore, with the walls adorned with big posters of old greats, like Best and Charlton in their heyday. The
ground has seen its fair share of glory days too, a crowd of 2,029 crammed in to see Billy Bremner's Donny Rovers side
in an FA Cup Round One tie in the early eighties, but since then the fans haven't exactly been rolling in - I guess that's
to do with the fact Villa pull so many fans from the area. But then again, judging by the "Sutton Baggies" banner hanging
from the main stand, that little premise might be a bit premature.
Whilst a competition like the Errea League Cup might not have the
pulling power of an FA Cup tie for example, the turnout wasn't that bad, with the club reporting an attendance of 161 - although
there must have been double that judging by the number who walked in after kick off without paying. The atmosphere between
these two teams felt the same as those games between Club and Hallam, where the crowd is swelled by curious local onlookers
with no true affiliation to either side, although there were plenty of scarves on display of both colours - with one old lady
sporting BOTH round her neck - it gave me the impression that people would go to the home games on alternate weekends. The
rivalry is, if anywhere, on the pitch. Players from both sides have played for the opposition, at stake is the pride of earning
the title "Sutton's Number One", and the talking up of the game had been building up in the local press beforehand. Sutton
midfielder Craig Thomas had been bigging it up in the local paper, having played for the Roms last season, and his dad is
on the Romulus coaching team to boot. The article wasn't too complimentary at all, it has to be said it smacked of sour grapes
of a team player that didn't get what he wanted, and the Roms didn't take kindly to it.
Like most local derbies the game had a fair amount of spite about
it, and whilst the tackles flying in was to be expected, the comedy antics of both sets of players' recreating the "Gangsta
Rapper" posturing after every challenge wasn't. They didn't go as far as threatening to "pop a cap in yo' ass", but the language
was as bad as anything I've experienced - and before anyone jumps onto something that isn't there - I'm talking about
players of all races with the posturing. The football was as pretty and skillful as I would have wanted, both sides really
were quick and clever, but the finishing wasn't. I'm not sure if the Roms put an effort on target but Sutton should have had
at least three goal before the break, with the best effort coming from attacker Mykel Beckley who burst from fully fifty yards,
outsprinting the defence before blasting over the bar from ten yards out. Roms keeper Matthew Harris had done his best to
keep everything at bay, but there was nothing he could do on the half-hour mark, as (yep, who else) the aforementioned controversy
monger Thomas beat the off-side trap to hook the ball home from close range. Romulus always looked second best to the speedy
front-men of Sutton and never looked like getting back in it, so when the keeper Harris made a total cock-up of his three
man wall to allow Leon Doughty to slot the ball from a twenty yard free-kick into the net, there was going to be no way back.
So the spoils went to Sutton Coldfield Town, and whilst it was an
entertaining game, the attending masses greeted the final whistle with a muted cheer. Both teams seem to be struggling to
attract new spectators, and even though Romulus have amassed the seemingly obligatory "noisy crew" of teenagers with drums
and hooters, Sutton's followers are the usual brigade of forty-plus year olds that are prevalent at this level. At the moment
I can't see any reason why Romulus shouldn't stay at Coles Lane, the arrangement is mutually beneficial at present, and both
serve each other's needs. As for the players, well I will guarantee like all in this region at this level, they'll be playing
for the opposition somewhere down the line. For now it's good to know that unlike the Romulus of legend, they aren't out to
kill their brother, and are quite happy to live in harmony. And long may it continue is what I say, if this is how ground-sharers
co-habit, then I think I'll be inclined to visit some more derbies of this kind in the future. Hang on, that's a great idea,
two birds with one stone! Now does anyone know anyone else who are in the same league that are ground-sharing?
Jaunt No. 11
Hatfield Main 5 Pinxton 0
Central Midlands League Supreme Division
Tuesday, 09/10/07
I always feel it is a sign of how far Sheffield FC have come
since I started watching them; a trip to Staveley was always met with a modicum of trepidation, now it is simply one date
on the pre-season calendar. Teams that were always seen as comparative "giants" now look on us with envy, sometimes with a
bit of bitterness, sometimes with the respect of someone who knows it has been a job well done. There are some teams that
are no longer with us, I remember how Denaby United were the team which should go on to bigger things from round these
parts, now they are a distant memory. Some clubs have slipped into lower leagues, forgotten by those who've been with the
club for a while, and unknown to those who've joined us since moving to Dronfield. One team that falls into that last category
is Hatfield Main, who believe it or not were Northern Counties East Premier Champions in 1996, a season which saw Sheffield
FC finish twentieth - out of twenty teams. Club are now firmly ensconced in the UniBond, and where are Hatfield? In the Central
Midlands League, that's where - but would you believe they are on their way back up?
Back then Sheffield were struggling, and teams like Hatfield
and Denaby (they won it the year after) were at the top of their game, but the truth was they were well supported and backed
by local social club revenues - something Club never had. But take that away and things start to change, and Denaby were kicked
out of their ground by the local social committee, and shortly after Hatfield disappeared from the NCEL as well. There
were rumblings a short while ago about Hatfield being unable to field teams midweek due to the electricity for the floodlights
being sourced from the social club - with the owner being reluctant to supply - but I must hasten to add that this is just
rumour and should be taken in the way that all rumours should. Anyway a few years ago everything changed for Hatfield, after
yet another season competing at a mediocre level in the NCEL One, they announced they would be tendering their resignation
to the league. Not many tears were shed by those in the NCEL circles, despite Hatfield being stalwarts for such a long time,
it was merely voiced as an "inconvenience" as far as league membership numbers were concerned.
They disappeared from the pyramid, turning up in the Doncastershire
League, and was considered a major fall from grace for a team that was denied UniBond football (due to ground gradings) less
than ten years before. I considered it a waste, but I always had this nagging feeling they would make a comeback, when
they had re-grouped and got themselves back on their feet. In 2005 they won the Doncaster League, and then decided the time
was ripe for the comeback, and they applied for membership to the Central Midlands League. Naturally they were accepted, the
facilities at Dunscroft were more than a match for any in that league, and they would be a welcome addition. I for one expected
them to "come, see and conquer" - but they didn't - however the following season they did. Despite having points deductions,
they walked the league, and now find themselves one level beneath the one they walked out on in 2003. The comeback is nearly
complete, and seeing as it is over five years since I last visited the place, I thought the time was just right for a visit.
The last time I came was for a game against Tadcaster, and
although I can't remember the result (and my interweb wireless thingy is on the blink so I can't research just now), what
I do remember is that it was absolutely pouring with rain. So would it surprise you that the same happened today? Naturally
it was bucketing it down, and the wipers were on full all the way up the M18, luckily I knew my way so there was no problem
of getting lost in this weather. The thing is I had forgotten how far down Broadway (Dunscroft's main thoroughfare) the ground
was, the area hadn't changed much, maybe my perception was changed due to the rain. Another thing was it was the first time
I'd been under lights here, so I had no idea exactly how bright they were, or (in this case) weren't - I actually thought
it was off! I squelched the car down to the ground, through a million puddles, but guess where the biggest puddle was? Yep,
just outside the turnstiles, with the deepest bit was outside the one which was open. I've got to say it caused much
stress to my trainers, in hindsight I should have brought some boots, better still some waders...
So how much has the ground changed in those five years then?
Well I have to say not much, apart from the aging process that makes you have flaking paint and rusty metalwork, and the perimeter
barriers are bent as well. But overall it is no different to your Armthorpe, or Broddy, or Glasshoughton in ground standards.
I always remember when we moved into the Coach and Horses when someone asked me what is was like, I said "the same in design
to Hatfield Main", and by that I mean a seated stand behind the goal - and if you sit in that there is covered standing to
your right hand touchline. Okay there are two blocks of standing here, and unlike the C+H the clubhouse intrudes right onto
the touchline, but as you can gather from that description there was plenty cover from the weather. The clubhouse in question
is still as plush as before, with the addition of the (now) standard giant plasma telly, which had a small audience watching
Leeds and Darlington. The one thing that hasn't changed though is the whole place's potential for expansion, but the ground
is owned by the council, if Hatfield asked would they develop the ground further?
So far this season Central Midlands football has been good
to me as far as entertainment goes, first I had the incredible ten goal game at Kinsley in August, and last week I spent
the game with several friends at Blackwell Miners Welfare - where Radford came back from 0-4 down to finish four each. So
I was expecting more of the same this evening, Hatfield have been banging 'em in, and likewise Pinxton have been conceding
giving rise to the belief I would be witnessing a fair few goals for me to quid. The one thing I remember about my last encounter
with Hatfield, a game at Louth United last season, was they were quite an aggressive - albeit talented - team. I was hoping
I'd see the talented side tonight, but for the first half all I got to see was the nasty, ugly side of the team. To be honest
it was an unforgiving first half, the tackles were flying in, and players were getting booked more frequently than I'd ever
seen in this league. The worst incident was when a Pinxton player twisted his studs in the uneven surface - it looked nasty
for him - but rather than sympathy Hatfield's Jonathon Groome screamed in his face "stay down you useless c***" - Jonathon
Groome is the Hatfield captain, leading by example...
It wasn't pretty, even the linesman said they were better
than stooping to this, and stated "Hiney (Coach Mark Hine) wants sacking - he's a disgrace". But by the start of the second
half all this was forgotten, whether it was a softening up tactic or what I don't know, but come the second half Main were
terrific. Five minutes in speedy forward Kirk Frost lobbed the Pinxton keeper, two minutes later Frost was put through to
calmly slot past the same keeper, who was then replaced by a fatter version - the first time I can recall a CMFL team naming
a goalie on the bench. The referee wasn't having a good time of it either, he must have worn his whistle out in the first
half, and by the second had totally lost the plot when he awarded a free-kick for handball when the offender was a good five
yards inside the box. Twenty minutes from the end it was three, as Josh Wright twinkle-toed his way round the substitute keeper,
and it was four shortly after when Wright set up Groome with a clever ball for the captain to finish. Five minutes from time
Frost wrapped things up, getting his hat-trick into the bargain, whipping home a great goal on the turn.
It was a game of two halves alright; a real Jekyll and Hyde
performance from Hatfield, and it took them up into third spot. On my way back home I was considering what Hatfield have achieved
in the last five or so years since I came, and I figured despite them being lower down in the pyramid than when I left them,
they look to be a far stronger set up and a much stronger side. It's the success syndrome that seems to keep them winning,
it is what they are used to - the more you win, the more you forget what it's like to lose - and it wouldn't surprise
me if they were pushing Askern Welfare for the title come May and in turn applying for promotion to the NCEL. No doubt
they'll be welcomed back with open arms, all those years of struggling in the local leagues will be forgotten and give
a few more years and I reckon Hatfield will cross the Sheffield FC path once again, and when that time comes I recommend that
our lads bring their shin-pads - they're going to need them!
Jaunt No. 10
Retford Town 1 Middleton Villa 2
Nottinghamshire County Intermediate
Cup
Saturday 29/09/07
The other week at the BFS I was listening
to one of the songs the "Noisy Boys" were singing; it was the one "Hark now hear the Sheffield sing", and it got me thinking.
I've heard loads of versions of that song and to be fair it usually makes me laugh, as it glorifies the "hardness" of the
singers, and the apparent cowardliness of their rivals. But it wasn't that which caught my attention, it was the words - or
more to the point, the rivals - they were using. You see according to them "the Retford ran away", which I'm sure they
didn't, and they will "fight forever more because of Derby Day". And it's that bit which confuses me, by my reckoning
the Badgers have been down our patch just the twice, and have been winners both times (but let's not go down that road) and
that is in their entire short history. I went over to Cannon Park for the first time in 2002, they were in the Central Midlands
Premier Division, and at no time during my visit did I ever imagine them being our true rivals. That little honour always
went to Hallam, you all know that, but by our growth and Hallam's obvious inability to progress due to the ground have we
outgrown them so much we need new rivals?
Personally I'd have chosen Stocksbridge
as our new rivals, but that isn't what this piece is about, so I'll ask that question again - have we outgrown Hallam so much
they are insignificant? I don't think so just yet, but I can see that day turning up in the very near future, and I'm
sure the boys from Retford can relate to this already. You see prior to their revolution that was kick-started in the 2001-02
season, Retford United had their own little rivals in the 90s, even though their paths rarely crossed. That team was
Retford Town, who bizarrely never played in the same league as the Badgers; whilst United struggled along in the Notts Alliance
- Town struggled along in the adjacent level Lincolnshire League. It always seemed odd that Town should choose that league,
after all you shouldn't need me to tell you Retford is in Nottinghamshire, and most certainly not in the county of Lincoln.
But they only became Town in the last seven or eight years, before that they were BRSA Retford, and before that Retford Rail
- the team called Retford Town has a longer standing history than I can care to remember, and one that falls into that long
running theme through this column. Yes it is the Midland Counties League table from the Green 'Un in 1977...
Back then they were the perennial strugglers,
I always seem to remember them not having much in the win column, and always seemed to be on the receiving end of something
in the way of a beating somewhere at the top of the week before's round-up. What I failed to realise was they went under,
sometime in the mid to late 80s, a fact that I failed to even register. I would say it was the loss of a great name, but that
would be patronising, they never were much cop - though it has to be argued that a town the size of Retford does need a decent
sized (if not successful) team. At the time of the original Town's demise, Rail were in their formative years, playing a secondary
role in the local football scene. In the 1983-84 season both sides were in the same league (and division), although at opposite
ends, with Town at the top and Rail at the foot. So it seems surprising it would be Rail that survived to tell the tale, and
Town consigned to the murky depths of history. And so the story continued, with Rail merging with Lincolnshire League minnows
Eaton Hall College, becoming BRSA and onto the present day - or 2001 to be exact - where they changed their name to Retford
Town, resurrecting an old name with whom the links are tenuous to say the least. Since then they've played in the Lincolnshire
League, the Notts Football Alliance, the Notts Amateur Alliance and then last season the Doncaster Senior League. Quite a
menagerie there I'm sure you'll agree, and it appears they've finally found a league they like...
Now the Doncastershire League isn't
one that I've ever written about, but as you may ascertain from the Kinsley Jaunt a few weeks ago, it isn't one I'm a stranger
to. Effectively it seems to be anything but based in Donny, with the biggest nucleus of clubs coming from the Pontefract /
Hemsworth / South Kirkby area, so it is no surprise to see Retford fitting in there. And as I already stated last season this
league was won by Kinsley, it should have been by a canter and with a zero in the losses column, but it wasn't - and guess
who saw to that little record? I'm sure you can guess, and I was reminded of that fact when I got to the game this afternoon,
you see Retford "did 'em" home AND away. So this season they should be amongst the favourites for the title, and they looked
like they would live up to that tag, but after winning two they stumbled somewhat by losing the next two. But today wasn't
to be a league fixture, this game is a County Cup side against a team I've never heard of, and to be truthful still know nothing
about due to their absence anywhere on the interweb. Middleton Villa were to be the opponents, and I guess they must be from
the Hucknall area, mainly due to the shirt sponsors - but having said that, I may be totally wrong. So if you know different,
please let me know... and I mean PLEASE!!!
So how did I end up at this one then,
after all you have a Club (and work) free Saturday, and a full fixture list to boot - so why Retford Town? Well I was coaxed
into going by their programme editor Nick Bainbridge, who told me his dad (Ken) would take care of us, and to be fair it wasn't
too far to drive and it had the potential for me to get home by 5.00pm - if it didn't go to extra time that is. But looking
at the quality of the visitors' form, there was only going to be one winner, and loads of goals to go with it. So I decided
on this one, giving the alternate choice of going to Phoenix's debut home game the boot, after all that one was going to be
snided with groundhoppers and hangers-on. Conversely it did mean I'd be available all morning, and that meant I had to go
and do some grocery shopping, and you know how I hate supermarkets! So eventually I set off on my trip, and got to Retford
in decent time as expected, but then I found myself doing something that caught me by surprise. Automatically the moment I
hit Retford, I started day-dreaming and going on auto-pilot, so guess where prize prat of 2007 ended up? Anyway after a quick
u-turn in the car park at Cannon Park I went back into town to try and find the ground I was supposed to be going to...
This is a fairly new ground that Town
are now on, Kiln Lane at the top end of Retford, just past where the original ground was on River Lane - which is now a big
Morrisons - and the other side of town to where the BRSA ground is. According to Nick it was an old Sunday League venue, which
had scrubbed up nicely, and he wasn't far wrong. It was however very "rural", so I can't imagine this being developed to any
great extent, but I doubt they'll need to as Ken told me they weren't planning to further themselves up the ladder. When I
got to the ground Ken was actually doing his bit to maintain the rural aspect, doing some emergency pitch repairs, by filling
in mole holes! I tend to use the term basic very loosely when I do these articles, so excuse me if I say the same here, as
the amenities aren't that plentiful. I was offered a drink if I wanted one, and had to stand in the toilets flanked by the
Retford back-line, but don't get me wrong that doesn't mean it wasn't a nice little place - it was and I'd recommend anyone
who feels that way inclined to give it a try, just don't start moaning when they have no pies on offer. The way I see it is
like this, I wouldn't come to watch in the depths of winter, there is no cover and it is very exposed - but on a day like
today with a nice little breeze and the sun on your back, it is the ideal setting for a good game of football.
On form I reckoned on this being a bit
of a goal-fest, with Retford being the easy victors, but I've made that mistake so many times before in this column. With
the breeze behind their backs, Retford absolutely peppered the visitors, but went into the break goal-less. The best chance
they had was when Joel Gray hit the post with a side-footed shot, whilst centre-forward Dan House must have fluffed his lines
at least half a dozen times when through on goal; the common consensus from Ken and the rest of the management team was this
was a poor first half performance by the hosts. Middleton were better than I imagined, and they had a couple of quick lads
up front who could easily have swung things, but it was their keeper who impressed me most. He got down to deny House twice
in the second half, who it seemed couldn't get the ball out from under his own feet every time he got in the box, and seemed
in control of everything that was thrown his way. For Retford I was impressed by Adie Smith, who dropped into midfield to
allow Lee Garner to go up-front (a move that would get the game going), and James Woodward who had two headers cause problems
- one went just over, the other one went in but was disallowed. The breakthrough finally came with twenty minutes to go, House
broke down the left and got into the box, this time he did the right thing and squared it to Garner who tapped in from a yard
out.
So that was it, Retford
could now settle in to a pattern of hitting the front two, and adding to the scoreline, but Villa had other ideas. They brought
on their final substitute, a gangly young lad called Pat Hulme, who looked well out of his depth and potential for a sending
off. That was until he switched flanks, and suddenly he was the difference between the sides, and with three minutes to go
he managed to swing the game. A speculative free-kick into the box wasn't judged by the Retford keeper Chris Noye, and up
rose this youngster to get his head there first, Middleton went mad - they knew they had a chance. A couple of minutes later
the same youth burst down the left wing, put a brilliant cross into the middle, finding the unmarked "Bomber" Brown in
the middle who headed home to make it 2-1. Retford were on their haunches, it was a sickener, and a true to life cup upset.
What can you say after a game like that, I knew there was nothing left in way of consolation, I
hit the road as soon as I could. Retford Town are a friendly little club, and even though they are happy at the level they
are playing at, really they could go a lot further. Seriously I was hoping they'd get into a cup run and I could have tracked
their progress, but today was one of those days and it isn't going to be, but at least they still have the league to play
for it's early days. And to all those Retford United fans who may stumble on this article, here's a tip - if your boys aren't
playing one Saturday, get yourselves down to Tiln Lane and watch the Town, they deserve your support. Always remember where
you started...
Jaunt No. 9
Biddulph Victoria 0 Shifnal Town 1
Midland Alliance League
Tuesday 18/09/07
Football is a great relief from the stresses of daily life,
I recall having this conversation with many people in the past, there's just something about standing on a touchline that
lifts the cloud of the weekly humdrum. Take this last week for instance, whilst you lot were enjoying the sweet taste of victory
over Alsager, I was having to deal with a sit down protest in my staffroom. Honestly it was under siege from a crazy woman
who apparently wanted an audience with "God", who was called "Stuart Jones" to boot, and wouldn't budge until she'd
maimed me in some way. It lasted for well over an hour, and I'm still not sure why, although she was led kicking and screaming
from the shop by the local constabulary shouting "you are a wanker Jones - and all your staff are incompetent!" The officer
came back in store and asked who she was, what was she complaining about, and why it had all got to this stage - "I... don't...
know..." was my response, "although she's a good judge when it comes to my staff!" I also explained she'd come to the wrong
place to find God, and although I don't mind being called a wanker, she could have at least got my name right when she was
attacking me! So for one week only, welcome to "Jonesie's Jaunts!"
So with me finally having a couple of days break on the horizon,
the following day I had ten minutes with the non-league paper in the office, to see if there was anything that could act as
a remedy for the previous week and a half's nightmare. And would you believe it, there was nothing on anywhere, with my options
pretty limited - there was just the one game that was "do-able", and that was the Midland Alliance game at Biddulph. Everything
else was hinging on the FA Vase getting some replays, and looking down the list there was nothing up north, so I thought "why
not, Biddulph can't be that bad - can it?" Well the first thing I thought was how would I get there, Biddulph is actually
on the northern outskirts of Stoke-on-Trent, which in itself is a tricky old place to get to from Sheffield. I could head
via the motorway, and then head along the A50, but that left too many variables when it came to traffic jams and the like.
The alternative was to get the old AA Route planner working, see where that threw me, which as it turned out was to go via
Buxton and Congleton - very rural indeed. It would lop of twenty miles in distance, and would no doubt avoid the peak-hour
snarl ups, and was allegedly twenty minutes less in time too - another bonus as well was I wouldn't have to think about Stoke
town centre either. So it was decided, via Buxton it was, and I was hoping there wouldn't be any "High Peak snarl ups" along
the way...
You know the sort don't you, the tractors, the caravans?
I wrote in a piece about Ball Haye Green a season or so ago, quoting from the Macc Lads song "No Sheep Till Buxton", lamenting
the missing woolly mammals on my trip across. Well I found them, and they were having a field day on my drive over, playing
a farmyard version of "chicken" by sprinting in front of cars. I nearly ended up in a head-on collision with a speeding BMW,
who had decided it would have been far easier to avoid the sheep that had trotted out in front of him, and plough straight
into me. He would have too, if I hadn't have sussed out what was going on with them, and I had decided that I would best off
spending the majority of the drive tapping the middle pedal. I was relieved to get to Congleton I can tell you, not a phrase
I ever thought I'd use, I felt I'd finally reached civilisation - again, who'd have thought I'd ever say that? The drive down
from Congleton to Biddulph was rather more relaxing, and I never realised what an affluent part of the country this stretch
was, with the obligatory mock-Tudor mixed in with some pretty snazzy gaffs. Eventually I got to the ground, a mere one hour
and thirty five minutes since I set off, ten minutes later than Mr AA had said - with the run from Buxton to Congleton taking
the best part of forty five minutes, and that was without encountering tractors or caravans...
Luckily for me the ground was far from difficult to find,
it was on the main road down, so none of that looking for oblique signposts and road names. I got there in good time, and
in one piece, so I thought I'd celebrate with a nice cold coca-cola. The first word that came into my head when I landed was
"quaint"; the ground is set in a very picturesque little location, which was surrounded by more mock-Tudor - this time in
the shape of the club buildings and adjacent cricket pavilion. I thought I'd pick up a programme to read with my drink, but
instead of me looking for the programme seller, he came looking for me in a kind of "I want to sell these as quickly as I
can" manner. Naturally he didn't have change for a twenty (they never do - tut), but to my amazement he said pay me when you
come out of the bar. Now that's trusting for you, and how would he remember me, and more to the point would I remember him?
The bar wasn't really related to the football club, it does however go under the title of "Biddulph Sports Club", serving
the other sports on this patch of land. Amazingly they didn't serve soft drinks, so I had to suffer a right nice pint of Carling
Cold, which I forced down reluctantly - honestly. To be truthful it was a well equipped little set-up, and yes they did sell
soft drinks, I'd just had such a crap week I needed to wind down. From where I was sitting I could see the ground, effectively
I could save a fiver and watch from here, but the programme seller was so trusting - how could I repay that trust with anything
less than honesty?
Inside the ground is a cross between Sheffield FC and Hallam,
behind one goal there is a seated stand - 242 seats for all you statistic buffs - with the obligatory officials' block, whilst
the other three sides are undeveloped. I say Hallam because the pavilion on the far side sits uncomfortably at the top of
a slope, across a cricket pitch, and a railed side with no hard standing. One thing that sets it aside from the Sheffield
sides is the Long Eaton style five-a-side pitches behind the far goal. Opposite the cricket side is a narrow stretch of terracing
(if you could call it that), which is very close to the local housing, so to stop the balls going over into their gardens
they have built a big net fencing (about fifteen feet high) - strangely though it is between the terrace and the pitch, and
not on the boundary fencing - maybe it is to control the fans and not to stop stray footballs leaving the ground. The majority
in attendance had decided to stand behind the goal, which in hindsight (I stood there in the second half) seemed to be the
best option, as it had no obstructions. Not many chose to sit in the stand though, I guess the reason for that is that it
is positioned at an odd angle to the pitch, meaning if you were sat in there your line off sight would have you staring
across towards the cricket square rather than the football pitch - but as they say "when it rains, cover is cover". ..
Biddulph ply their trade in the Midland Alliance, a league
that covers a fair old patch of countryside, all the way from Loughborough in the east to Herefordshire in the west. It's
also strange in the fact that it includes North Staffordshire in its midst, meaning you get anomalies like Vics being further
north than Stone Dominoes in the NWCFL, whilst they miss out on local derbies against teams like Congleton. It also means
that you get fixtures like tonight, a bit like when we used to always head up to Pickering on a Tuesday, Biddulph were
entertaining Shifnal who had a journey longer than mine - and amazingly they turned up the same time as I did. I bet they
were cursing the fixture secretary when this baby came out in the list - I know I would have! Nevertheless they brought quite
a few supporters with them, well when I say that I mean as a percentage of the 54 paying customers, Biddulph's lowest crowd
of the season - but having said that they had lost three of their last four home games before today. And in my humble opinion
they had a point, Shifnal were to be my favourites tonight, not just because they were the form team - but for the reason
when the away supporters shouted "c'mon Shifnal" it sounded kinda familiar...
Even though they were late arrivals, as sometimes happens
it was Shifnal that looked to be the freshest, but to be fair they had a right old frustrating first half. Shifnal's Chris
Huston should've had three before the break, but his final touch was woeful, and the skipper Stewart Corns had the best chance
but couldn't get the ball from under his feet. It was more or less one way traffic, but the visitors were poor in the last
eighteen yards, and the trend continued into the second half. The deadlock was finally broken on the hour mark, Huston crossed
the ball to Linden Dovey who volleyed first time, it took a great save from Vics' keeper Danny Read but he could only parry
it into the path of Matt Johnson who tapped it home. You'd think that Read would have had some consolation from his team-mates,
but they bollocked him for costing the game, which I thought was harsh. It wasn't the best game I'd been to this season, but
it was enjoyable without being too dramatic in the goalscoring stakes, it had though done its job - somehow all the stresses
of the previous week or so had just fizzled out - which just goes to show you, football is the greatest medicine there is!
Oh yes, before you ask I did find the programme bloke (and pay
him), and on the drive back it took me fifteen minutes less to get from Congleton to Buxton - the sheep it appeared had gone
to bed!
Jaunt No. 8
Hinckley Downes 2 Gornal Athletic 0
FA
Vase Preliminary Round
Friday, 07/09/07
"Friday night's a great time for football!"
If you've
seen that Bruce Willis movie "The Last Boy Scout" you'll know that's the song that kicks off the film, although THEY are talking
about American Football, essentially I have to agree with the theme. It really is a good time for football, but hardly anyone
ever does it now, not that I'm advocating Sheffield moving to Friday night or owt. As a matter of fact it was Friday night
football that inspired and kicked off this column, way back in the murky and distant past, with a visit to Stone Dominoes
against Maine Road if I remember rightly. Not many teams take up the offer of playing on a Friday, but I'm sure they'd get
a bigger than normal crowd turn up, in fact I'll guarantee it!!!* (*Please note - neither Stuart James nor BehindTheFlag industries
guarantee bigger crowds if games are played on Fridays) Tranmere had a stint of playing Fridays didn't they? To try and coax
Evertonians and Reds alike to turn up and boost their miniscule crowds, and they didn't do too bad from it, but at non-league
level not many are willing to take that step. Sure, it will always attract the "hopper" fraternity and neutrals alike, but
I know for a fact that amateurs (and semi-professional) footballers have other things on their minds - like finishing a working
week for example. Sundays is another one, but I won't go into that, basically for the same reasons - plus a good percentage
play on Sunday mornings. One occasion where this becomes unavoidable is where groundsharing occurs, and both tenants are scheduled
to be at home on the same weekend, then one of them will have to shift. Generally speaking though this isn't a massive issue
normally, both teams will agree who plays at home each weekend, and plan their league fixtures around this arrangement. But
one time you can't do this is with the dreaded Cup tie, and when you are talking about an FA Vase, Trophy or Cup tie, you
are obliged to get the game played that weekend. So when your tenant is a Conference North team who have a home game, and
you are a step seven team with an FA Vase home tie, guess who's moving to Friday...
Initially though that last premise
never came into my head when I saw this fixture spring up on the horizon, for one I had no idea that Hinckley Downes were
groundsharing with anyone, let alone with Hinckley United. You see, those of you who have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the
history of this column will know, I once expressed the intention of getting to see all the Hinckley teams. That included United,
Barwell and Downes Sports, who it appears this season have undergone a name change to incorporate the town they play (some
sort of "rule" regarding this apparently at a certain level which stops you playing under vague works' or pub names - so you
have to be identified by a locality, village, town or district). Now Downes Sports have always been looked on as a kind of
side project of the Hinckley United chairman - Kevin Downes - who owns a building firm called 'Downes Builders', forming Downes
Sports as the works team, but then he became chairman of United after being chairman of Hinckley Town (who played on a floodlit
pitch on Leicester Road on the northern outskirts of town before Downes Sports moved in after the merger). The fact that the
brand new Marstons Stadium was built alongside this ground basically suggested to me that Downes didn't want to clash, and
lose support to the United game next door, who as it turns out have a very tasty fixture against Telford United. But that
very morning a very dubious little orange book of contacts dropped on my door-mat, sent from a very good friend who reckoned
it would come in handy, and opening it up on the Hinckley Downes page it said "see Hinckley United for address and contacts".
All of a sudden that opened up a whole new can of worms, with a handful of issues either raised or solved, the first one was
that I was going to get to the Marstons Stadium a helluva lot earlier than I first imagined - the second was I was never going
to get to the old Leicester Road ground - and the third was who exactly were "Hinckley Downes FC" really?
I always
knew that Hinckley United had a reserve team (called Hinckley United Reserves amazingly), I know because I saw them play in
a game not more than a couple of seasons ago, and they played in the Midland Combination Reserve League. But that team has
disappeared, and some rumblings I picked up on whilst perusing the HUFC forum was that Hinckley Downes were in fact the unofficial
reserve team, even though the Leicester Senior League doesn't allow for such teams to compete in their set up. I guess it
is a little like Armthorpe who I covered the other week, all you really have to do is have a slightly different name from
the parent club for your team, no blatant cross-over of first team players - and away you go. The connections are a little
too coincidental for my likings, the same ground, the same kit, and the same officials. But lets be honest, they aren't hurting
anyone really are they, the team is an outlet for the fringe players to get some field play - and they aren't invincible either!
Yes, they did start the season on fire with a couple of wins that make the eyebrows go up (winning their first two 9-2 and
6-1), but then they played anyone of quality they got beat. But pitch these performances with those of the last three seasons
- where they finished next to last, lower mid-table and last - coupled with the disappearance of the "official" HUFC reserves'
team, well it doesn't take a genius does it?
I'm not going to dwell on that point much longer, and as far as I'm concerned
it doesn't matter that much who they are, they are still Downes Sports to me. What I will dwell on for a minute is the Marstons
Stadium, which is kinda like the finished article, but like Northwich is able to be expanded or improved if the need arises.
For me to get to this one was a nice little treat (and cheaper), as I hadn't got Hinckley United on my immediate plan, so
for Downes to be playing here was a bonus. Compared to Middlefield Lane it is a million light years away; I remember writing
about that ground being a death-trap, well the Marstons is anything but. The social club is a little diamond, even if it doesn't
sell food, the parking is a vast expanse - and inside it's a neat little comfortable stadium. It holds 4,300 plus, with a
decent 600 seater stand, and the majority of the standing is covered. As I said it could be expanded, and I doubt there is
a ground this good hosting this level of football, and by that I mean Downes not United. And because of this it does have
a sad little rattle to it, especially when you have just the eighty people paying at the turnstiles, but I imagine with a
good sized crowd (like the one tomorrow or when Kettering come to town) it has a healthy little atmosphere. So going back
to the point right at the beginning, we have a Friday night fixture, does it bring in extra spectators? Well I can only say
that the official attendance announced afterwards of 82 was a little disappointing, that number was swelled by a bunch from
the midlands, and a fair old handful of groundhoppers (who were gathered outside the bar spouting on about cantilever stands)
that had decided to add this "extra" to their repertoire. Other than these the number was made up surprisingly enough (or
not) of United fans, who seem to have taken Downes as a "little brother" club, or maybe it's for another reason...
Their
opponents for this one were Gornal Athletic, and before I go on to bore you about anything else, I have to say I know nothing
about them or their league. The West Midlands (Regional) League is one that I hold at arm's length, I just never fancy heading
to that neck of the woods, basically because it's too far. Either way Gornal aren't one of their leading lights, they've made
an indifferent start to this season, winning one and drawing three of the four they've played. As I said I know very little
about Gornal Football Club, in fact the only thing I can relate to Gornal itself is the fact it was the epicentre of an earthquake
about five years ago, and when I did a bit of research found it was about 200 yards from Athletic's ground. So other than
that I'm not able to enlighten you on anything of note, they were a new team for me, but I was hoping that I would learn a
fair bit about them in the next ninety minutes - and in turn learn a bit about the difference in the standards of leagues.
As you will remember I don't like teams from the Leicester League very much, kickers and cloggers, but how different would
it be with the influence of a Conference North set up behind one of their teams?
As far as games involving Leicestershire
Senior teams, this was probably the best performance by any from that league; Downes were very impressive. You could tell
from the off that (despite this being a very slow paced game with a fair bit of needle and spite from the visiting side) that
Downes' players were quite a cut above the usual standard, and played some pretty confident looking attacking football, and
with it they created quite a few chances. By the time it got to half time I was left wondering how the bloody hell it'd stayed
goal-less, and I can tell you it was down to one man - the visiting goalie - Mark Vaughan. Now this kid didn't particularly
look special, but when the crunch came, he was at the top of his game. Firstly he made a great save from an Andy Gunderlach
shot, and not content with that he made a better one up against Adam Cayless who was through one-on-one, and to top all of
this off he bettered both of those with a magnificent block from right back John Grady. I could try to carry on with the superlatives
- but I won't - he was quite useful this kid, and when he pulled off one of those dramatic double saves from the home captain
Luke Bradshaw and Andy Woodall, my jaw dropped a bit whilst also kinda expecting him to keep a clean-sheet - and then he topped
that one by doing a spectacular tip over the bar after the nippy Curtis Smith jinked through the entire defence before letting
a thunderbolt go. All the time Hinckley (sorry, Downes) were piling on the pressure, you half expected Gornal to nick one,
and just before half time they nearly did when Ashley Poutney headed against the bar. So Downes attacked, and attacked, and
if they were going to score it was going to be a goal that good it'd be on the highlights video. Well no, it was fairly crap
really - that crap it was a shock - Richard Gunderlach played a ball through to Ben Laxton, he shot and the ball squirmed
pathetically under Vaughan. At one-nil up Downes decided that the best way to win, was to win by playing pretty football,
the type Arsenal tried to play (unsuccessfully) by "passing" the ball into the net. At this level it don't work either, and
Gornal sent enough warning messages to tell them to stop taking the piss, with Michael Perks and Stuart Ward both squandering
easy chances to draw level. With fifteen minutes remaining Downes made certain with a sucker punch, with a type of goal that
you'd expect at this level - route one - with home keeper Gurminder Aujla collecting a corner, hoofing it up field to Adam
Cayless, who jinked his way round three defenders to slot home. As I said it was a good game, and Downes impressed me quite
a bit, after all count the number of players I've mentioned in this last paragraph. But as I said near the start, how far
can they go up the pyramid? Surely someone, somewhere along the line will sit back, look at the teamsheet and say "hang on
a minute"...
Jaunt No. 7
Skegness Town 3 Boston Town 1
Lincolnshire
League
Wednesday, 29/08/07
With the summer winding itself down (when did start winding itself up is what I'd like
to know) and the kids' six-weeks holidays in their final death throes, it always seems a shame to waste a day off without
doing something with them, other than sitting glued to a television screen of some sort feeling bored solid. After our time
in Cyprus Liam decided he wanted to go on the dodgems, he'd developed quite the knack for terrorising Cypriots whilst over
there, and the task began as to where we could find some. Skeggy had always been on the back burner with this, so it was decided
we'd head to Skeg Vegas for a day out, on my first proper day off from work we would spend a full day of it over there - and
while we were at it we'd go to the game in the evening at Burgh Road.
Now I know you've all been to Skegness before,
and many of you will have been to Burgh Road too, but for me it'd been years - literally years - since I'd last been there.
Even though Liam had been there a few times as a toddler with his grandparents, this would be the first time he'd been there
and been able to digest his surroundings, so when we did the Ingoldmells crawl (driving too slow along the road near Fantasy
Island) his first words were "this place is dodgy Dad!" He's right too; it's Wybourn-on-sea, full of "Knock-Off Nigels", fake
Burberry baseball caps and single mums pushing prams with our Brit'ni and our Tiff'ni tugging at each other's super-sized
earrings. I didn't like it, the town as spruced up as it has been still smacks of datedness and chip fat, and full of people
who look so pale that if they were any whiter they'd be transparent. I was contemplating all of this as me and Liam were walking
along shell-shocked, when a fat pasty-faced kid shouted "Mam, what we 'avin' fo' dinner?" His mum, ever the polite type and
so big she had her own postcode replied at the top of her voice "Ah've told thee, thaht 'avin' fookin' chips!" I'm no snob
(that you should already know) but that was classy, very classy, Liam looked at me bemused - I must have sheltered him far
too much - and asked "what are we having for lunch, Dad?" I looked around at my surroundings, digested them and replied "fookin'
chips, Liam, fookin' chips!"
After we'd done the dodgems, amusements, doughnuts - and of course the "fookin' chips"
- we headed out of town towards the ground. And what a nice little town it must be out of holiday season, they must dread
it every year, but the tourism industry is what keeps Skeggy alive. Around the ground there is a fair old smattering of nicely
maintained houses, all of which contrasts dramatically with what lies a mile the other way, no doubt populated by very nice
people. We arrived at the ground a good hour before the game, so naturally we decided a visit to the Lilywhites Bar - Skegness
Town's little social club along side the ground - had to be in order. We were the only ones in (naturally - it was an hour
before kick-off) so the landlord struck up conversation with us, and after learning we were from Sheffield, he gave us a pitying
look asking "here on holiday?" When we told the whole story behind coming he was less pitying and joined us for a game of
cards, and told us how the Lilywhites had done last season and (so far) this one, before tending to the other customers who
drifted in as kick-off got closer. The Club is a small, but well equipped little bar, with the usual array of pool tables
and big screen televisions making it possible for the social side of things to fund the football side.
But does it
need funding? Here's the thing, Skeggy Town don't need to do that much to get the ground up to acceptable standards for the
Central Midlands League, and with a little love and attention (floodlights and hard standing) they could progress to either
the Northern Counties East or the United Counties Leagues. Their problem is that the town is out on a limb - not distance
wise - but travelling time wise. It took me twice as long to get to Skegness as it did to get to Coventry two days earlier,
and yet it is allegedly closer. So from their point of view, any away game would put a massive strain on their financial resources,
so why move from the Lincolnshire League. I was at that point going to add they were a big fish in a little pond, which they
effectively are - after all the league is made up of seventeen teams, of which seven are reserve sides and only three or four
can be considered worthy of any note. But if the league is that bad, how come in the fifteen years that Skegness have plied
their trade in the Lincolnshire League, last year was the first and only time they won the title? And that was by a pretty
narrow margin too, and based on what I already know about this league, they have been underperforming for far too long. Last
season ended the drought, and under manager Paul Walden they seem to have got a decent looking side together, and they are
favourites to regain the title this season.
Back in the old days, Skegness were one of the eighteen or so teams that
competed in the old Midland Counties League - along with the likes of Alfreton, Arnold, Belper and Ilkeston - and when I first
went to Burgh Road they'd just missed out on winning the league on goal difference to Boston Town. The ground to be fair (clubhouse
improvements aside) hasn't changed that much, and I remember making a remark the last time I came (pre-season about fifteen
seasons ago) about how much potential this plot of land had for building a nice little stadium, but seeing as they didn't
have to do any work - they haven't so it more or less remains the same. So what does it look like? Well it must have seen
grander days, there are the foundations of an old terrace along one side, and a tiny little bench (and sofa) stand along the
one side with the pitch surrounded on all four sides by a sturdy white painted breezeblock boundary - which has a good ten
yards between each touchline and the wall. Behind one goal is now a patio for you to watch the game from (pint in hand) and
the changing room blocks, and behind the other a jungle, an overgrown mass of nettles trees, and brambles - and tonight infested
with midges (yes I did walk round that side, that's how I know).
So there you have it - Skegness Town - a team that
could and should be playing football at a much higher level, but they choose not to, it's their prerogative I guess. Anyway
tonight saw the visit of a Boston Town side, not too far for them to travel I suppose, and by all accounts it was going to
be a home banker. Skegness had won their last home game on Saturday 9-0 against Keelby United, who I assume must be the whipping
boys of the league, whereas Boston had won one and lost one of their opening two fixtures. The pitch was in good nick, and
a healthy sized crowd of about 100 were gradually paying their quid and making their way in, the sun was setting behind the
far touchline - and with that in mind the referee decided that with no floodlights it would be forty minutes each way, so
naturally the Skegness manager blew a gasket. Lord only knows why, because by the time the game was done we were straining
to see the players, let alone the ball - so it was a good call. The game was fairly fast and furious, and despite having some
pretty dire first touches, the quality was as good as (if not better than) the Central Midlands fare served up in the opening
half at Kinsley last week - although the long ball game seemed by be the law not the exception...
It took quite a
while for either side to get a grip of the game, enthusiasm was abounding, but control wasn't. So it took until five minutes
before the break for the deadlock to be broken, the referee awarding Skeggy a penalty for handball, with Paul Watts hammering
home. The game looked to come to life ten minutes into the second half, Kurt Crossley and Ben Davison combined beautifully
for Skegness, to set a one-on-one between Davison and the Boston keeper Andy Bartlett, with the keeper coming out on top.
The ball went straight up the other end to Boston's Gavin Bell who also found himself one-on-one with the home keeper Tom
Andrews, again the keeper won the duel, but from the resulting corner Bell slammed home an equaliser. All superb stuff and
it looked like the home side's 100% record was going by the wayside - that was until ten minutes from time - following some
heroics by Bartlett that saw him keep out a diving header from Skeggy's player-assistant manager Phil Winter and a Paul Watts
30 yarder, he was nowhere near a Watts header, after the striker rose following a badly cleared corner. Seconds later it was
three to Skegness, as James Archer crossed the ball into the box, Winter rose to head home and seal the three points. As far
as football games go this was a pretty good one, purists of the game might disagree, but here's a little pointer - if you
ARE ever in Skegness for some reason or other, a trip to Burgh Road is a good idea, it'll give you a bit of normality from
the bizarre that is the tourist part...
Jaunt No. 6
Kinsley Boys 6 Armthorpe 4
Central
Midlands Premier League
Wednesday, 22/08/07
It always seems a shame when you come back from your hols, especially
when you have to head back to the hum-drum of everyday life, but it seems I always take consolation every year by going to
some neutral football as soon as possible. And it seems that every year the Central Midlands League take in a batch of new
teams, and at least one entry will give me the opportunity to visit a new venue; sadly though this year seems to be the exception.
Welcome to the new CMFL season to Parkhouse (been there - in these columns), Louth Town (new team - old venue), Stanton Ilkeston
(playing at South Normo), Sutton Town (weren't they in our league last year), Phoenix Sports (from Brinsworth, so you can
guess I've been there), Armthorpe (yes, I did say Armthorpe and they play at the same bloody ground - more on that later)
and Kinsley Boys. Seeing as this is the Kinsley Jaunt, you can already suss out that I'll be heading there, but it isn't the
first time I've been there - no sirree Bob - I've been several times before, but somehow I've been persuaded to accompany
good ol' Neil of Belper to a game there, to catch up with things and watch a bit of footy in between. Luckily it isn't Kinsley's
first home game, that means the number of groundhoppers wanting to get a piece of the Central Midlands "new-boys" action is
vastly reduced, so I've agreed on this basis - along with the fact the visitors are the aforementioned Armthorpe, meaning
I get to see them in action without having to head to the bloody Wellie Ground again...
Someone wrote about Hemsworth,
saying "it isn't quite Wakefield and it isn't quite Doncaster", well Kinsley isn't quite Hemsworth. It is a one road town,
and not very photogenic either, one that many people would rather avoid. It's the typical former mining town, it has a giant
ornate fronted pub (the Kinsley), about six or seven take-aways, a bookies, and the natives are the sort of feral chav-like
youngsters who wander the street (singular - not plural) in packs with their shell-suit bottoms tucked into their socks. It's
the sort of place where they put the Christmas decorations up early, say October, and take 'em down late March time. The village
of Kinsley is one I accidentally stumbled on about five or six years ago, when I was on my way to see Hemsworth Miners Welfare
at Fitzwilliam, which in itself is further out of Hemsworth town centre than Kinsley. I knew the ground was somewhere on the
road north out of town, not sure where, and I stopped to ask where Hemsworth were playing. I was told if I parked opposite
the dog track, there was a path down the side, and the ground was on the right. So I followed the directions, I found the
ground - and to my surprise - I found a match in progress being watched by about 200-300 baying locals. Seeing as my game
wasn't due to kick-off for another hour I was a bit puzzled, and a bit pissed off especially as I'd just rung the secretary
twenty minutes before who told me the kick off and where to head (roughly), so I asked one of the fellas round the pitch who
was playing and he replied "Kinsley versus Saint Pat's!" It was Hemsworth St Patrick's, and it was an away game to boot -
and when I say boot I mean boot , there were enough flying about, physical or what - so I watched twenty minutes, then left
to find the game I intended to go to which was five minutes down the road. Between then and now I must have been about three
or four times, never stopping for a full game, probably because the result had been decided well before half-time - with Kinsley
usually at least three in front by then. The last time I went was around November time, and by the interval they were six
up, I decided to pop off down the road to South Kirkby to see a tighter game.
You see Kinsley played in the Doncaster
Senior League up to last season, and were the stereotypical big shark in a puddle, and nearly went the season undefeated.
They've won the Sheffield Junior Cup for the last two seasons, and to be honest they needed a bigger challenge; I guess the
Central Midlands will be it. Don't get me wrong here, but a side of Kinsley's obvious quality shouldn't be trudging along
in the Doncaster Senior League, which from my limited experiences is a pretty poor standard of football. Even so, I reckoned
they played some good football, and it was a decent set up, so why not progress? The ground is officially called Kinsley Playing
Fields, but the fact it is one pitch - corralled by the standard post and rail enclosure - surrounded by a breezeblock wall.
The potential for expansion is massive, if they wanted to build terracing - they could, easily on any of the four sides -
if they wanted to build a little stand - they could do that as well, with very little worry about the menacing local younglings
causing serious damage. Back to the playing side, and as I alluded to earlier they are a good footballing team, or they were
last season. They scored 138 goals in 28 games, conceding just 24 - along with Parkhouse - I could see them as being one of
the front-runners in this league. The biggest question is how much of a step up is it from the DSL to the CMFL?
But
if it is a big leap for the DSL champions, how big a jump would it be for a team who finished fourth in the league BELOW them,
a team like Armthorpe? Not much had been mentioned about these boys, I saw them play at Parkgate last season, and they hammered
eight past them without reply. They weren't that hot, and as a proposition for a future "Jaunt" I'd say it was as unappealing
as a week old balti served in a jock-strap, why would I want to go to Armthorpe again? I've done my damnedest to get out of
seeing Club play there, let alone head there for a neutral fixture, so I reckon they would make for a great set of whipping
boys for this evening's entertainment. But why would Armthorpe want TWO teams in the pyramid? Well looking closely at this,
it seems the team is actually an off-shoot from the other Armthorpe team - they use the same ground, play in the same kit,
have the same history printed in the match programme - the only difference is rather than being called Armthorpe Welfare Reserves,
they've joined a different county association and dropped the Welfare from their moniker. And so far things don't look too
bright for them on the pioneering CMFL front; after three games they've failed to score, drawing two and having six whacked
past them by Picko inspired Sutton Town. When you look at the pedigree of the hosts, well you fear for them, don't you? Well
maybe not, I was surprised to see that in their first two games before tonight Kinsley had only scored the two goals, maybe
the goal-fest I'd promised Neil was not going to come to fruition - or was it?
To describe a game like tonight's without
making notes would be pretty hard to say the least, it's times like these I wish I was the more consummate professional and
took the tools of the trade, instead of recalling the events off the seat of my pants (not that I wrote owt there either).
I got to the ground relatively early, Neil was running late, and was a little disappointed with the small turn out - and that
was bolstered by about a dozen groundhoppers. What they missed was an absolute treat, from a goalscoring point of view; it
wasn't one you'd expect Alan Hansen to enjoy. Armthorpe (as I said earlier) hadn't scored a goal all season, were sitting
near the bottom of the table, so naturally they opened the scoring with a free-kick from twenty yards out by Danny Barker
- the Kinsley keeper was well at fault. "That'll kick start Kinsley, it'll be 6-1 by half time" was the statement, seconds
later Darren Erskine made it two-nil from another good attack - what the hell was happening? Sanity started to be restored
before half time, when a pinpoint cross from Daniel Burton was headed in by Liam James (no not my lad, it's Kinsley Boys -
not Jamesie's Boy) to reduce the arrears. Half time we headed to the aforementioned Kinsley pub, basically to sample some
local colour, had a swift pint there and headed back. The sun was setting and it was cooling down, so on our way back in we
decided to pop to the snack bar to grab a bite, when we got near the front of the queue the guy in front piped up with a line
that'll stick with me for ages. "Four cans of Carlin' luv... (thoughtful pause) and a bun... (another thoughtful pause) fer
t' little 'un!" An absolute classic, and one that'll have it sum up Kinsley for ever, no nonsense and down to earth - with
a heart of gold!
It looked like Kinsley were going to get back into the game, but the longer it went on the less likely
they looked like breaking the stubborn resistance, then with only seven minutes to go it was 3-1 as Armthorpe profited from
an own-goal. Yes that's right - seven minutes to go - it is three-one, and Armthorpe look like they are on for the most unlikely
three points ever. Then with the visitors sitting back smugly on a "job-well-done", young Daniel "Speedy" beat the off-side
trap (if you could call it that), and it was back to 3-2. Armthorpe were reeling, and straight from the kick off Kinsley were
on the attack, this time Mike Tomes went through the bewildered defence to level things up. What's that now - three-all? Right,
after that there was a goalmouth scramble, the ball fell out to Sean Hammonds on the dead-ball line who drove the ball into
the top corner from an impossible angle. Okay, so at this point Kinsley are winning, you'd expect them to hold on to the lead,
especially seeing as they'd been the dominant side all game. Wrong! Up the other end Erskine went and got his second, after
some bloody awful (was there any other kind tonight) defending, to make it four each now. So to re-cap, seven minutes to go
it was 2-1, all of a sudden we are at 4-4, and with stoppage time looming the ball fell to the big lad Stuart Clark who showed
composure he hadn't shown all night to round the keeper ands make it 5-4. The Armthorpe lot collapsed in a heap, they had
conceded five goals in as many minutes, and scored two of their own in the same period. To really rub salt in the wounds "Speedy"
Burton got his second, to really wrap things up on an extraordinary game, I made it seven goals in seven minutes - I'm sure
I'll never see as many as that in such a short space of time. But it did prove one thing - I was right - Kinsley can score
goals, it just remains to be seen if they can go on and do the business for the rest of the season. And Armthorpe? Well, with
defending like that I fear the worst...
Jaunt No. 5
Omonia Nicosia 1 CSKA Sofia 1
UEFA
Cup Second Qualifying Round
Thursday, 16/08/07
I finished the fourth Jaunt in last season by declaring "honestly,
Cypriot football - it's brilliant!" Bit of a sweeping statement that, with very little substance to support it; so why exactly
do I think it's "brilliant"? Well it's like this - I just can't get my head round it. I mean every other side of Cypriot culture
I can grasp - from the people who drag race up the coastal road in Limassol thinking they are extras from "The Fast and The
Furious" - to the guys who try to lure you into their restaurants with the promise that their food is "the best on the island"
- to the giant fifty foot billboards in the middle of nowhere of Ronaldinho advertising cheese and onion crisps. Their football
I just don't get though; their national team is traditionally woeful - thus no-one wants to watch them - and hardly anyone
has made a stamp on the European stage in years - yet EVERYONE is passionate about their team. And everyone has a team, make
no bones about that one my friends, and I mean everyone. Last year I came back from watching a game and was met with quite
a bit of derision from the hotel staff, they were all Anorthosis fans (including the women), who had been exiled from the
north way back in 1974. They all had a view, and they all disliked Apollonas, APOEL, Omonia or whoever, and with a passion.
When you go to a game it's the same, the fans are generally nuts, and scuffles are fairly commonplace in high profile games.
Yet on the pitch, the teams are as good as say Barnsley, Chesterfield or Rotherham, in other words not very. I feel I can
say that from a fairly informed perspective now, I've seen enough games to form that point of view, and yet I still find that
going to a fixture strangely exciting and a little exotic. So yet again I find myself writing about another Cypriot experience,
even though it isn't a new groundbreaking moment in my life, I just need to get this one out of my system...
A few
weeks before we were due to fly out to Cyprus, Lynn asked if there would be any football games we wanted to go to, the answer
was naturally "I'll look in to it and let you know!" All the time I had already been looking at this website "soccerway",
which gives results and fixtures from Aruba to Zimbabwe, and for some reason the Cypriots had delayed the start of the season
to September 1st. Why this was I can't tell you, especially as last season they'd bucked the post World Cup trend of bringing
the start of the season forward instead of pushing it back like every other country in Europe, I guess it is another one of
the reasons I can't get my head around footie in this country. So that left our footballing entertainment in the lap of the
gods, the false idols of UEFA, hoping that they could arrange a cup tie (of any sort) during our two weeks over there. Last
year it was nuts, there were games galore - APOEL played a Turkish team in front of 25,000 screaming Greek-Cypriots wearing
orange wigs and waving Greek flags, whilst being prevented from murdering the Turkish-Cypriots who were supporting Trabzonspor
by seven lines of riot police (who disappeared ten minutes from the end to let all hell break loose) - there was a full league
programme to chose from, including the Nicosia derby (which I watched on the box) - not to mention a couple of UEFA Cup ties,
and that was all in one week. This year we are here for two weeks and there's nowt, other than friendlies, and you know how
I feel about them. So as the early draws were made for the Champions League and UEFA Cup, my hopes were pinned on APOEL beating
BATE Borisov (from somewhere I can't remember without Google-ing), Omonia beating some team called Rudar and Anorthosis beating
somebody call Vardar. Seeing as I hadn't heard of any of those three, I felt confident that this would be a case of picking
the best of the three, but you know what they say about mice, men and Jamesies don't you?
All three of them won their
first leg easily, and when I say easily I mean 2-0 at home, or in Ano's case 1-0 away. But when I came home from work to find
that APOEL had blown their second leg game by losing 3-0 in Borisov-land, I thought that somewhere along the line one of the
other two would do the same, leaving me with the vain hope of having the home leg of the next round scheduled to be at home
when we were in Cyprus. Luckily the other two showed the class (yeah, right) needed and scraped home with comfort, meaning
there were two Cypriot teams in the second qualifying round - one was bound to be at home. But here's a bit of a paradox for
you, the two teams - Omonia and Anorthosis - had vastly different home grounds, with Omonia playing at the GSP (been there
twice already) with a capacity of 25,000 and Ano playing at the Antonis Papadopoulos Stadium in Larnaca, which only has a
capacity of 8,000 and sold out within an hour of the tickets going on sale in the last round. So I was hoping for the team
who play at a ground I'd been to twice already, to get drawn at home for our week, whilst the team that plays at the ground
I HAVEN'T been to (and one I wanted to go to this year) to get drawn away. Crazy or what? But the gods of UEFA were smiling
on me, and Omonia were drawn at home, against of all teams a name I'd heard of - CSKA Sofia. It was a draw that had the Cypriots
saying "oh, not again!" Apparently they've been drawn against each other as many times as we've been drawn to play against,
ooh I don't know, let's say Harrogate Rail the other year. And each time it's had the same outcome - 1-1 in Cyprus and a home
win in Bulgaria - eliminating Omonia each time. Needless to say Omonia weren't that happy, and it's equally needless to say
that I didn't give a flying fart, I'd got me a game to go to - and getting tickets would be a doddle!
Before I go
on I have to fill you in on the whole Omonia thing, they play in green and their badge is a shamrock, so you'll expect me
to like them won't you? Truth be told I've always been sort of indifferent about them, which I think is down to the fact I've
seen their fierce rivals APOEL so many times more than any other team from the island, and I've never seen Omonia live. I've
seen them on telly, as I said earlier, in the local derby last year - and it gave me one of the funniest tele-visual moments
I've seen. Copying from the great Italian "curvas" of the San Siro and Stadio Olimpico, the APOEL and Omonia "ultras" unfurled
giant flags at each end of the stadium (more of which I'll explain later), in a kind of macho "look at the size of MY flag"
posturing. Unfortunately for the Omonia bunch, some prat decided at the very moment the flag was fully stretched, he was going
to set off a flare underneath - setting fire to the middle of the flag and burning an ever expanding hole in the middle. The
green shirted Omonia fans in the bar I was in weren't that impressed by my shout of "look it's f**in' Bonanza" - but the British
holidaymakers were and started off a chorus of "dum-der-la, dum-der-la, dum-der-la, dum-der-la, der-der" (that's the theme
tune I'm trying - and failing - to type here) to an increasingly hostile bunch of frowning locals. I never actually got the
reason why so many Limassol residents (loads, by the way) were decked out in green, I guess going back to my original point
at the very beginning and underpinning the whole thing I'm trying to get at, and understood even less why they were so passionate
they wanted my head on a pike. Well statistically they are the best supported team in Europe - honestly - with (get this)
42% of the island purported to be Omonia supporters. When I say statistically I'm on about that percentage against population
business, not physically in numbers obviously, and 1.4% of the nation's populous turn out for each game - beating the next
highest by a massive 0.3% (and guess who that is? Yep, they play in green and wear a shamrock for a badge too - Celtic, of
course).
So as I said luck was on our side, Omonia were at home, and getting tickets would be a doddle. Well that's
where I was wrong, they are much better supported than APOEL and Apollonas, and I was advised to get tickets prior to the
game from the office in Nicosia. Well that's not so hard you might say, but the bloke at the hire-car firm, the people at
the hotel, the holiday rep, and everyone else we met leading up to the day (even the local tourist information centre) were
about as much help as a hole in the head. So we headed into Nicosia and pulled into a garage, who told us it was on Kyprianou
Street, which was just around the corner - it wasn't. It wasn't until we got back into England that we found out the office
was in Karpenisiou Street, easy mistake to make, but it was a good five miles away from where we were. The only option was
to get our arses in gear and head up to the GSP early-doors - which we did - and wait for the ticket booths to open - which
we did - buy the tickets - which we did - and bugger off up the hill to Orphanides' shopping arcade (for yet another year
- I said we wouldn't this time) for a burger with about 500 other green clad individuals. When we finally made our way to
the ground, quite a bit later than normal, we knew that the car-park would be empty - even though the streets for about a
mile in every direction had cars parked on the kerbs. This is strange really, because I couldn't think of many national stadia
where you can park within twenty yards of the main stand, but then not many national stadia have a road system serving it
as bad as the GSP. If you think Wembley's bad, get a load of this - the last time we came was the only time we got away from
the ground quickly, but that was because we legged it before the inevitable riot - the ground is served by a road no wider
than Stubley Lane by the side of the C&H, yet it has to deal with thousands of cars (no buses) exiting the ground. Seeing
as we were in no rush, we decided to park close to the entrance, at least we didn't have to walk far - and we were in no rush
to head back to Limassol afterwards...
Here's something to tell you, guess how you can spot an Englishman at a Cypriot
football game? He's the one looking bemused, clutching a programme in one hand, thinking "this is nuts!" Yes, the programme
in Cyprus isn't something the locals tend to be seen with, but the English - well they love them. And the sellers can spot
an Englishman a mile away, and the spotted Liam as we got out of the car - "Programmes! Hey, you wanna buy souvenir programme?
Only £2.00!" So as you'd expect, he dipped in his pocket, pulled out £2.00 and handed it over, rolled it up and strolled off.
About twenty yards on he opened it, flicked though it and shouted "hey, this is all in bleedin' Cypriot Dad!" I mean he should
know - it's not as though it's his first time watching football over here, but it made me think as we were making our way
to our seats, how many more had wasted two quid on something that was unreadable? Anyway we must have seen a good couple of
dozen wandering around with these great big green magazine thingies whilst going from the seller to the seats, all were British
looking, everyone else "Cypriot-looking" were just greened up to their eyeballs. And there were plenty of them, most of them
heading to the Gate 9 end where we sat with the Derry City fans four years ago, and all of them were geed up for a big night's
bouncing. 'Cos that's what they do - bounce - in unison, behind the goal, for ninety minutes and all the time singing strange
songs in deep glutteral tones. Notch it up to include a crowd of about 20,000, and I can tell you it can give you one helluva
headache, especially when they start with the bloody drums and the firecrackers. It makes for a great atmosphere, and like
Russ Abbott, I love a party with a happy atmosphere...
Once again we were in the main stand, this time though we were
nearest the away end, even though we were literally in the same seats as last time. The reason is - like the San Siro - the
teams that share the GSP have their own end of the ground, with the away team being allocated the end of the Nicosia team
that isn't playing. Beneath the main stand is a little strange, all three teams (there is a third team that uses this stadium
- Olympiakos Nicosia - but they aren't that well supported) have a club shop, with the two that aren't playing having theirs
prudently boarded up. I can't say as I've seen that anywhere, stranger still I managed to come away from the Omonia store
without spending ANYTHING - that IS a first. As we got to our seats the teams were coming out, the "ultras" were bouncing,
whilst to our right about 100 pasty looking Bulgarians were trying to make themselves heard, singing what sounded like "Jessica"
- it took a good hour or so to figure they were singing CSKA (Ce-se-KA) in Bulgarian. One of the Bulgarians took it on himself
to "offer out" the three or four thousand Omonia fans in the stand on the far side, the riot police carried on puffing on
their cigarettes and let them get on with it, the Bulgarian guy and about ten Cypriots jumped into the ten-foot deep moat
to sort out their differences - I don't know what happened next, but the police decided they might as well do something and
step in before the game started. As the teams were being presented the home side started with the big flag thing, and this
time there were two, one behind the goal as usual and a bigger one on the far side. It looked impressive, but as you expect
the people (about 70% of the attendance) underneath it couldn't see what was going on, so imagine their surprise when they
folded it back away a minute into the game to see Omonia were a goal down. Yep, fifteen seconds into the game the ball fell
to CSKA's Brazilian midfielder Aparesido Claudinei ("Nei" to his mates), who volleyed over the keeper from about forty yards
- we nearly missed it and had to watch it again on the news (and then on YouTube a dozen times) to get a grip of how good
a goal it was, and it was good believe me. The atmosphere became relatively subdued, I could just about hear Lynn talking
to me, but it got manic about ten minutes later as Omonia got an equally spectacular goal from Kostas Kaifas - volleyed in
from a corner from about thirty yards out. There was no further scoring, but midway through the second half CSKA's Valentin
Iliev decided to try and push the hosts' best player Ismaila Ba into the moat, naturally he got sent off - and pelted by the
crowd - much to the dismay of Omonia's coach who feared the UEFA sanctions that are bound to come. The Bulgarians did what
you'd expect after, stick everyone behind the ball, and make certain they got the result in Sofia. They held out, much to
disgust of the locals, who started to stream out long before the full time whistle. Which as you could imagine meant they
beat the traffic, something we didn't manage to do, never mind though - at least Liam had his programme to read...
Footnote:
Well Omonia managed to truly cock it up in the return leg - they went in front inside ten minutes, only to have that Nei fella
equalise ten minutes later. They then managed to get themselves NINE yellow cards and TWO red cards - obviously trying to
kick the Bulgarians out of the game and take it to penalties - and then conceded in stoppage time to lose 3-2 on aggregate.
CSKA were drawn in the first round proper against Toulouse of France - at the time of writing that game hasn't been played
yet. Omonia started their domestic league campaign the weekend after we returned back to England - for the record winning
1-0 away from home (at home in the GSP) to Olympiakos Nicosia.
Jaunt No. 4
Burton Albion 1 Walsall 2
Pre-Season Friendly
Saturday, 04/08/07
They say you should never meet your
heroes, you'll only be disappointed, or you'll end up making a prat of yourself. My missus is absolutely struck at this moment
with this kinda effeminate (I bet that's the first time I've ever used THAT word to describe a male someone in this column)
oriental fashion chappie called Gok Wan, who does this fashion programme where he makes ladies of the chubby variety feel
good about themselves - it's called "How to Look Good Naked", you might have seen it (or more than likely fellas you thought
"this looks raunchy" when you saw it in the TV listings and then were mightily disappointed when there was a lack of flesh)
or at least heard of it. Anyway coincidentally Lynn's birthday happened to fall on the very same day that Mr Wan was making
a personal appearance in Sheffield, so me being me, I decided she'd "love" to go and meet the fella! Oh I'm sure I half expected
him to be this aloof prima-donna who would be the complete opposite of his screen persona, which incidentally is one of a
really nice (if effeminate - see that's twice now) bloke who really cares about women of all shapes and sizes, thus making
him a complete and utter "Elton John" when you met him face-to-face. Well it turned out that the whole premise of this appearance
was for a signing of his new book, one which I'd already bought her for her birthday, and the only way you were going to get
to meet him was to buy the book from the retailer hosting this appearance. Naturally she was crestfallen, but after a few
prods in the ribs and a half dozen "go-ons" she plucked up the courage to go and meet him, and guess what - he was as nice
as pie and took time to have a little chat with her and give her a kiss afterwards (not that threatening really - did I mention
he was effeminate) - not once expecting her to add to his burgeoning fortune by buying another book. Anyway this little incident
made me reflect on the time I actually got to meet one of my four heroes - the other three are Paolo Maldini, Johann Cruyff
and Billy Bragg, in no particular order - the one and only Brian Clough. It was a midweek Northern Premier game between Burton
Albion and Barrow at the old Eton Park, sometime in a cold winter month, one that I'd decided to go to on the spur of the
moment as I was auditing in the area. I got to the ground ridiculously early, and after spending as long as I dare in the
bar, I went in the ground, bought a programme and plonked my arse in the main stand. In typically Jamesie fashion I sprawled
myself out like some kind of sloth, with my feet straddling a couple of seats in front, when all of a sudden a voice from
my left said "excuse me young man!" I looked up and there in front of me was Brian Clough, looking a little ropey and old
it has to be said, but it was Cloughie nonetheless. What do you say when you meet one of your heroes? I bet you'd love to
say something witty and smart, and something he'll regale to his publisher or ghost-writer when he comes to do his autobiography,
something memorable. And me? Well you know me, cocky calm and confident always able to come up with some lippy response, but
this time - oh dear! "You're Brian Clough!" Yes, that was the best I could come up with, crap or what? Even crapper was the
response he gave, "yes I am, now get your feet of my seat if you don't mind!" Not exactly the stuff of heroes, but it proved
a point, you should never meet them - neither you nor they will meet their expectations. I sat the whole game writhing with
mental agony, and at half time I felt that embarrassed I moved to another part of the ground, and afterwards I never came
back to Eton Park.
Don't get me wrong, Cloughie still remains my hero, based on his football geniality naturally -
not his public demeanour which I hasten to add was never that good, even before he met me. Also the fact remains that not
only will he be remembered by the people who followed Forest and County as one of their own, but also at Burton Albion, where
he watched his son's fledgling managerial career set on the road. I've met loads of Burton fans in the past, and the ones
I met recently all told me of how Brian was one of theirs, and how he seldom missed a game. Obviously since his passing Nigel
Clough has done loads to shed the "Cloughie's son" tag, not least the feat of holding Manchester United to a draw in the FA
Cup, and taking them all the way in the replay - Rooney et al. That replay was the first time I'd actually seen the new stadium,
the Pirelli Stadium, which was built a stone's throw away from Eton Park. The impression I got was that despite it being brand
new, it still had teething problems, not least the beach - sorry that should say pitch. I failed to mention the fact I always
liked Eton Park, not my favourite ground, but it was tidy and the bar was good - and you were guaranteed never to get wet
on a rainy Tuesday night. So when the Brewers announced they were going to move, it managed to make my eyebrows go Roger Moore
fashion, after all it was one of the best grounds at that level. Then you wake up to the reality that they didn't want to
stay at "that level" for much longer, ambition it seemed had permeated into North Staffordshire, they wanted Conference football
- and more. So the new stadium was built, and opened to many trumpets with Alex Ferguson (of all people) doing the honours
of opening the stadium by bringing a decent squad of players to play there, and yet somehow I couldn't ever get to a game
there. This summer when I was writing my "list" of grounds to visit, Burton was one that sat there along the likes of Nantwich
and Nuneaton Borough, new grounds that I fancied a visit to. As I've said in the past pre-season games aren't my favourite,
but the day before I was due to head off to sunny climes, I had to go somewhere - I was ordered by the wife to get out of
the way while she packed - Burton seemed as good as any place to go.
The visitors were Walsall, not that it mattered,
it could have been anyone so long as it was a game today. The whole point of my day was to kick back, enjoy a spot of football,
and experience what could be a future Football League ground in the next ten years. I say that because obviously the objective
of reaching the Conference has been achieved and sustained, there has to be a next step, and why not aim for League Two? The
ground is nearly good enough - I say nearly, there are three sides of covered standing, of which at least one will need to
be changed to seats eventually - and has plenty of room for expansion. The main stand is a nice looking little construction,
the sort that most clubs would envy, a decent capacity and running the full length of the pitch without viewing obstructions.
The facilities are really second to none, with a licensed bar under ALL of the stands, and a snack bar alongside each of them.
But if they are going to get that league status they are going to have to overcome some stiff opposition this season, having
to overcome obstacles like Oxford United, Cambridge United, Torquay United and Exeter City - all teams with a Football League
pedigree who are hardly going to roll over and let a little upstart team from the midlands usurp their plans to return to
their former glory. So it isn't going to be easy, and a benchmark could be made from today's game, depending on how they perform
could give an idea of how their season would pan out.
The sun decided it was going to make an appearance - it would
do wouldn't it, I'm off out the country tomorrow - so you would guarantee this would be one of those games interspersed with
"water breaks". Walsall had brought their fist team, and Burton had got Kevin Poole between the sticks, still playing whilst
awaiting news of his Premiership coaching application. The Brewers looked the most likely to get the goal scoring going, they
went close at least three times in the first ten minutes, whilst Walsall never got out of their own half. On twenty minutes
the home team went in front, with a short corner routine between John McGrath and Andy Corbett resulted in a superb cross
to the far post, where Daryl Clare had no trouble dispatching his header into the net. It sparked the visitors into the game,
and just under ten minutes later they were level, with a long ball over the top finding Scott Dann who timed his run to perfection
to race through and calmly slide the ball wide of Poole. Both sides more or less gave as good as they got, and ten minutes
into the second half Walsall got the deciding goal, almost identical in fashion to the first, when former Derby man Darren
Wrack set up Martin Butler from a long pass who showed his league class to fire home. That was it as far as scoring was concerned,
as pre-season games go though this wasn't bad, and pretty competitive too. Burton looked a decent side, and in my opinion
they'll be there or thereabouts in the final placings, playing decent attractive football - something that no doubt stems
from the coaching of a certain Mr Clough...
Jaunt No. 3
Derby County 2 Nottingham Forest 0
Brian Clough Trophy
Tuesday, 31/07/07
I won't make any bones about this - I'm a real big fan of derbies! I'm not talking about Derby
County by the way (in case you get the wrong impression straight away), or Derby City or Derbyshire Cricket Club - but local
derbies. My first ever football game was a derby, as was Liam's, and as I've mentioned quite a while ago in this column I've
seen my fair share of them throughout my life. Obviously the ones I relate too all the time are my visits to the Old Firm
games when I was a wee lad, but it goes without saying that my favourite ones are the ones where Luton Town have been involved,
and that means playing the dreaded W**ford. Derbies bring out a passion in people that you don't tend to see in week to week
league games, and I can tell you I've got into some fair old scrapes myself when the Hatters headed Hertfordshire way, and
a Luton W**tford game in the mid-90s gave me a fantastic example of what I'm talking about. After one game at the end of the
season - it meant nothing, we got relegated (again) - the Lord Mayor (or some local dignitary or other) was doing this tradition
of choosing which "Hatter" was wearing the best hat! Original or what? Anyway the winner this particular year was this giant
of a man, 6' 8" and that's no exaggeration, who was wearing a "Davy Crockett" hat in the colours of Luton. Now despite this
bloke's size he was what you might call a gentle giant, and I'd bumped into him in many pubs around the country following
Luton (although he always asked me how Notts County were going on for some reason) and he was a really nice quietly spoken
fella. After the game finished everyone filed out to head back to their homes, or in our case, their cars. The thing with
Kenilworth Road is that to get to the car-parking areas you have to traverse the away end, and the shortest way of doing this
was to go down the tight little alley behind the "Bobbers" stand, slow moving - but cutting several minutes off the alternate
route. The alternate route was usually "suggested" by the local constabulary if there was a volatile fixture, and in those
cases the gentle folk of Luton would oblige and take this route, after all the "nutters" were already at that side of the
ground. On this occasion though no-one was going to take to this "suggestion", basically because we weren't going out of our
way for them (insert rude word here), and naturally it was getting a little fractious. No-one was budging when all of a sudden
in the distance ahead there was a disturbance, and lo and behold there was the aforementioned giant's Davy Crockett flying
in the air, with it's wearer being grappled with by five of Bedfordshire's finest - yep, derby fever had got to my mate -
giving him more reason to hate the enemy.
Now I can prattle on about Luton's derby fixtures for hours, and I'm sure
many of you will fondly remember 26/12/79, others won't. Now my mate Neil of Belper, as you can imagine is a staunch Derby
County supporter, and he persuaded me and Liam to join him for HIS version of the Derby derby fixture (now I bet that'll throw
out a spellchecker error for repeating the same word - yep). The thing with Neil's fixture is that despite my deep knowledge
of all things football, I was a little naïve about the fact that Derby and Nottingham Forest were bitter rivals, and I only
learned of the fact when I actually worked with a fan from each team at the same time - they hated each other! The most I
actually knew about their link was you passed a junction on your way up the M1 from Luton which said A52 Derby and Nottingham,
and they were managed at one time or another to great success by Brian Clough, one of my all time heroes - but we'll talk
about that next time. You don't have to be that clued up to know now that just recently both of these teams have suffered
varying fortunes, with County heading to the Premiership, whilst Forest are languishing with other former "greats" Leeds United
and Luton Town in the old third division. So it'll be an outside chance that these will be playing each other in a league
fixture any time soon, Forest will need a promotion, whilst they will also be relying on Derby to make a total balls up of
it in the top tier and come straight back down United-style. Anyway the Cloughie link is the one that has brought this fixture
back to life, with a completely new competition - the Brian Clough Trophy - which is being run along the lines of the Calcutta
Cup (the rugby one, where any fixture - friendly, Five Nations, World Cup - between England and Scotland is considered a Calcutta
Cup tie) making any future Derby Forest matches anywhere Brian Clough Trophy games. This idea had been tabled many times before,
but the policing of such a fixture is pretty hard to say the least, so it has always been mooted. Eventually they've finally
got round to getting it on, albeit in an unusual manner for a pre-season game, with the home team being from the higher division.
Naturally when you look at it that way, you'd expect the Premiership team to stick a few past their League One neighbours,
but as we all know local derbies never always go as planned...
There is another reason for this little jaunt though,
and it's one that may surprise regulars of this column, that is I'd never been to Pride Park before! Of course I'd been to
the Baseball Ground many times, and it was something that my friend of Belper-dom was keen to put me right on. You see several
years ago in this very same column I was stating the point that I'd finally been to every senior football ground in Derbyshire,
after being corrected quite pedantically by a groundhopper from Colchester or somewhere, when I got round to going to Newhall
United. Well what I'd failed to do was to visit the county's premier team's fine stadium, and after much cajoling - I refused
a trip to see Luton there on a Friday night last season - I repaid the favour of him coming with me to Coventry in February
by heading to his manor for possible the biggest Derby County game this season outside the Premiership. We were going to be
doing it a bit different too, with me and the boy driving into Belper, and getting the train to Derby. That coupled with the
fact we would be stopping over at Neil's house meant we would be able to take our time getting to the ground, and with no
driving involved, be able to enjoy a few drinks on the night. After a bit of a walk to the station (via the pub and chippy)
we found the platform was pretty full, with the majority wearing Derby colours, not that you really expect many Forest fans
in Belper. Anyway the train was well past due when it arrived, about twenty odd minutes late to be fair, and it was kind of
a relief to finally get on after having half a dozen express trains zipping through at 90mph. I can't tell you how much the
tickets cost to get into Derby, as I was told afterwards fares are seldom collected on these trains as the guard can't get
through the train quick enough in the ten minutes it takes to get into town, so it was a freebie - as was the journey back
- coincidentally the train back set off from platform 3B as well (honestly)! When we got into Derby the platform bloke (what
are they called, guards as well isn't it) told us "just in time lads - the Forest train has just arrived as well" - talk about
timing or what? The Forest fans were all corralled outside the station front, far enough away to be able to cause any physical
trouble, but close enough to give their share of verbal abuse. It was looking like - as the infamous Danny Dyer would put
it - like a "proper naughty little fixture"...
I must admit I was impressed with Pride Park, as you'd expect, even
though it is ten years old it still looks new and impressive. The fact it is located in the centre of town makes it sort of
unique, especially in an era where all new stadia are built on the outskirts of town on brown-belt land, and even more so
with the fact it is now staging Premiership football - how many other Premiership teams play in the middle of town, two at
most? Inside it still looks as crisp as when it was first opened (I imagine anyway seeing as this my first visit), and even
more impressive was the fact it had some atmosphere and a decent crowd, with nearly 5,000 Forest fans making the trip along
Brian Clough Way - swelling the attendance to a whopping 25,100 - and filling the ground with a passion you wouldn't hear
at many pre-season games. I was going to use to term friendly there, but if it was Luton v W**ford that would be anything
but; however guests of honour for this game were none other than Cloughie's widow Barbara - so that meant both sets of fans
would have to be on their best behaviour. The other little thing about this fixture, and probably one that helped boost up
the numbers somewhat, was the ticket pricing - a measly £10.00 for adults and £2.00 for kids - something the folks at Rushden
and Diamonds ought to have taken a look at. Both sets of fans were in fine voice, and were kinda in a united front in support
of the late great Cloughie with the chant "stand up for Brian Clough" reverberating from the away end, encouraging EVERYONE
to join in. Alright the Derby faithful weren't that enamoured with complying with the sworn enemies' request, so after a few
boos when they didn't join in, they started their own version of the chant to the cheers of both sides. When the game got
under way, it wasn't long before the gulf in class was in full evidence, and on five minutes Derby took the lead when Jay
McEveley struck with a sweet finish from fully 25 yards. The home fans chirped up with "that's why we're Premier League",
and within ten minutes the score was doubled as McEveley turning provider for Craig Fagan, the ex-Hull City man having a clear
run on goal before finishing with ease. As far as scoring went that was it, I guess you could say that Derby eased off, but
they didn't - the tackles continued to fly in as if this was an FA Cup tie, and there was no lack of passion. Sadly though
the landslide six or seven I predicted when Fagan scored never materialised, in fact I'd go as far as to say Forest looked
the better side, but I'd be lying really - they just managed to achieve a damage limitation strategy. And that's how I'll
remember this game, one-sided and mis-matched, and I'll tell you something - what Forest need to get back to their former
glories is a manager who can pull a team from the doldrums. Another Cloughie - now have I ever told you how I met Brian Clough?
Maybe next time...
Jaunt No. 2
Rushden & Diamonds 0 Luton Town 0
Pre-Season Friendly
Saturday, 28/07/07
It's amazing how many football conversations crop up in my daily life, and not just the usual
"what do you think United / Wednesday / Celtic / Newcastle / God-knows-who will do this season" type of stuff, I get involved
in some pretty deep and (probably uninteresting) crap. One I remember was a discussion around "why do you not see that many
teams play in pink?" I'm not going to tell you where that one went, but it did make me smile when I saw the very same topic
turn up on one of the sport's more renowned internet forum - I hasten to add I didn't contribute! The one that I still remember
is the one about "which football team do you most admire?" Go on, have a think about that one yourself for a minute, and if
you want come and tell me who YOU admire - then feel free, it's a fascinating topic. You see for my answer I had Rushden and
Diamonds, well you probably guessed that didn't you - otherwise it'd be totally pointless bringing up the whole subject today
wouldn't it? I have a fairly good reason for my choice though, it is something I hope you'll understand, and it starts back
in the mid-eighties way before R&DFC were even thought of...
Back then I used to head off to just about any game
Luton were playing, and come pre-season I was like a little kid jumping up and down with excitement, looking forward to all
the "little" teams we would be heading to - expecting a goal-fest to inflate expectations of the season ahead. Once season
we were down to play Rushden Town at their Hayden Road ground, a place I had never heard of before, and doubted I would again
in the future. The ground was basic, probably what you'd expect in the lower reaches of the NCEL I guess, and there was no
indication they were potential non-league giants - let alone a future Football League team.
But all of a sudden -
around a decade later - the name "Rushden" was being bandied around as being "ambitious", although I had no idea how ambitious.
Okay, so money was involved - quite a bit invested too, by Doc Martens tycoon Max Griggs - and yes, there was some dissatisfaction
with the merger between Rushden Town and Irthlingborough Diamonds, but it's what followed that made me admire them. So there
you are, you are a team that has just been formed and you are in the same level league as Sheffield Club is this season, what's
the first thing you do? Well they went about setting a base set in bricks and mortar, developing the ground - not content
in making it suitable for the next level up in the non-league pyramid, but making it the envy of League clubs up and down
the country. Then they set about the business of doing the job on the field, after two seasons they got promoted to the Southern
Premier Division, and after two seasons there they won promotion to the Conference! Now imagine Sheffield FC playing in the
Conference in 2011 - nice thought isn't it - but is it realistic? Who knows, but that's exactly what the Diamonds did, and
around the time I was having that conversation I was talking about they were battling it out with Yeovil for promotion to
the League...
They never achieved it that year, but the following year they won the Conference - NINE seasons after
being formed - and they didn't have to worry about if the foundations were good enough. They had a solid team, and they proved
it could be done, with the conference centres and suites and all the other facilities adding to what was ideally a sound business
model. They had a Chairman who loved the team, and wasn't in it for money alone, and a manager (Brian Talbot) who could produce
a team that played entertaining flowing football - and that my good readers is "why Rushden and Diamonds football club is
the one I admired the most". At that time anyway...
The bubble burst though didn't it? Personally I was both surprised
and gutted, and I reckon that a team that lived life to the tune of "The Only Way is Up" by Yazz, found that when the going
got tough it was like the tune changed to Status Quo singing "Down Down"! After they pushed their way into League Two (League
One in new money) they flopped and got relegated straight back down, and after another season or so struggling, they were
back in the Conference. Mr Griggs handed the club to the fans, sure it has sound foundations, but it'll take some work to
get back to the dizzy heights of the 2003/04 season...
Whilst they were in the Football League I never got the privilege
to get to Nene Park, the fact I had always said I wanted to get there with Luton was a deciding factor in that, it is after
all 35 miles up the A6 and the generous 1,000 away allocation of tickets was always going to be snapped up before I mmmm-ed
and aah-ed. So when this season's pre-season fixtures came up, well I gave a little smile at the thought that finally after
fifteen years of waiting, I was going to get round to visit the team I had admired so much. And for a non-league team (as
they are once again) that's been in existence such a short period of time, it was amazing as to how many people (the wife
included) had actually heard of them, and by that I mean the people who don't pay attention beneath the plateau the "big"
Sheffield teams play at. The Diamonds have made their mark, sort of on the scale of Accrington Stanley; they have "one of
those names" people like to say. And that joke - yes, I was going to see two teams, "Rushden" AND "Diamonds" - ho, ho, ho...
The thing about teams who have been amongst the higher echelons of footballing is this - they have a tendency to think
they are still there and decide to charge prices that would be more appropriate at their former level. Think Leeds United
when they failed to win promotion back to the Premiership, they decided it would endear them to their followers if they charged
ticket prices that were more in line with if their visitors were Manchester United and not Colchester United, well sadly Rushden
fell into this trap. And I doubt it makes good business sense to try to charge League Two prices to get into a pre-season
friendly either, even if the teams you have decided to invite to your patch are ex-European Champions, Premiership "squads",
or teams from just up the road. I mean, I knew it wasn't looking good when I pulled up to the top of the car-parks drive only
to have a guy waving and smiling, saying "yes sir, just to the bottom of the hill there and a young man will show you to your
space!" My own personalised space, surely not? Like the plank I am, I carried on down got shown to my space and asked very
politely for £3.00! Well I am that sort of bloke who will blithely hand over the money, and accept it was just down to experience,
but worse was to come. The way turnstiles were right in front of me, and sure as damn-it there was no sign of how much it
was to get in, until you actually got to the entrance to see a tiny handwritten sign saying "away fans - £15.00" - sure enough
there was nowhere to turn as you got to this bit. Now I'm not a tight-wad here, but £15.00 for a pre-season friendly at a
non-league ground? I've paid - and will pay - less than that for UEFA games on the continent, this my friends was a total
liberty.
Having broken the news to Liam there was to be "no pies today, son", we took our seats at the top of the
away stand - the "Airwair Stand" - a generously sized 1,000(ish) seater stand with an impressive view from behind the goal.
Strangely enough this was halved with that meshing stuff, to give a bizarrely huge sterile zone between the 250 mugs (sorry
fans) that'd travelled up the A6 and the good folks who were sat politely in the main stand, giving the impression the Luton
mob had a bad rep round these parts or they wanted to save on cleaning. The ground really is a tidy little number, although
now it looks kinda dated against some of the newer places that are springing up, either way it is a damn sight smarter than
Kenilworth Road. But that's another story I guess, the sun was shining, the Luton fans were in good voice tormenting the stewards,
and the football was going to be a celebration of all what is good in life...
Like bugger it was, after all the expense
of getting to and into this game I'd have hoped for more, but sadly this is real life, not some dream world. The game seemed
to have something at stake early on, with Luton doing all the pressing and going close on more than one occasion, with Sam
Parkin forcing an excellent one handed save from Paul Bastock. The Diamonds keeper had to make another fine save moments later
as Paul Peschisolido got his head to a David Bell cross, whilst Matthew Spring headed wide and Dave Edwards also came close
to breaking the deadlock but to no avail. Half-time brought the usual flurry of replacements, and with it went any interest
in the game, the number of goalmouth opportunities diminished as the second half progressed. With ten minutes to go we almost
had some excitement, Rushden were caught out after a drop ball was awarded close to the by-line, Ahmet Brkovic gained possession
and set up Paul Furlong with an easy chance, but the former QPR man was ruled offside so goal-less it stayed. Overall I have
to say I'm still impressed with the set-up here, though I wish the game I'd come to was a bit brighter, sadly though the lasting
memory I'll have from the whole experience revolves around unnecessary expense. I wonder how many will pay £15.00 to see Farsley
Celtic next month...
Jaunt No. 1
Sleaford Town 3 Lincoln Moorlands
Railway 3
Pre-Season Friendly
Saturday, 07/07/07
“Look, we’re going out tonight, don’t be late back! You know what happened
last time don’t you? Extra time or whatever it was, and we were nearly late!” Welcome to the 2007-08
season!
First game of the season and she’s started – the missus that is – and she still won’t
let me forget about the time on our anniversary when we were playing away at Atherton LR in the FA Vase. The game looked all
but lost, but somehow Sheffield came back to snatch a draw – and with it being the FA Vase sending it into a sort of
unwanted extra time – before Club won by the odd goal in nine. Breathless and stunned by the game, myself and Steve
Dean then had to shoot over the Pennines to get me back in time for a timely shower, before getting ready to head out for
the aforementioned celebratory meal. The traffic wasn’t kind, far from it, and I was nearly late. Luckily we made our
sitting with seconds to spare, but I wasn’t going to live it down… EVER!
They say lightning never
strikes twice – well I can tell you that is an absolute load of cobblers for a start. But how on earth would I be late
back from a pre-season friendly? It’s not as though we’re looking at extra time and pens, or whatever, and the
fact I’m under ninety minutes drive away from home with this one would hardly send me popper racing with the old clock
watching and traffic jams. But as I said stuff like today’s fiasco was bound to happen – it just had to!
A
fair few years ago I went to Brighouse Town versus Hemsworth Miners Welfare, and midway through the game there was a serious
injury to one of the players – don’t get me wrong I can catalogue a whole list of places I’ve been where
there’s been a bad injury – but the game was held up until an ambulance arrived (again not unique) and still the
player wasn’t moved. After a while a helicopter arrived on the horizon and to everyone’s amazement landed in the
middle of the pitch, stretchered the guy up, and flew off into the hills. Despite having seen ambulances turn up at several
grounds, having games held up (and even abandoned), that is a story I never expected to see repeated again. That is until
today…
But let me start at the very beginning (as Julie Andrews always likes to tell us) and to answer
the obvious question that is bound to be asked of everyone who reads this column on a regular basis – “I thought
pre-season friendlies that didn’t involve Sheffield were a no-no?” And for those of you who aren’t “regular”
at the beginning of the last season I headed into Lincolnshire for an “All-Lincolnshire” pre-season friendly –
and fell asleep, honestly! I vowed never to do this again, unless of course there was something a bit different involved –
like a new ground opening for example. And today is exactly that, a new ground’s first ever game – Sleaford Town’s
new Eslaforde Park ground – and seeing as my erstwhile travelling companion (Neil) had been chirping in my ear for the
last week. No scrap that, he’d filled my voicemail with “are you up for Sleaford? Are you up for Sleaford? Are
you up for Sleaford?” and I was far too weak-willed to say no! So it was agreed that season 2007-08 would begin like
the last one ended - with a trip outside the “Jaunts Boundaries”…
And that’s when the
nagging started, because I really hadn’t got the foggiest idea what kind of trip I was going to encounter – I
knew WHERE Sleaford was, I knew how to get there, but I’d never EVER been on the A17 Newark to deepest darkest Lincolnshire
road – so how could I honestly say whether or not I’d be able to get back in time to get ready to go out? But
as I assured the missus just before I went out – it is a friendly – what’s the worst that could happen?
So there
I am bumbling down the A1 at a leisurely pace, then on the dreaded unknown A17 (getting a call on the way saying we’d
not taken the Skeggy caravan factor into consideration), and I still got there in under eighty minutes. That meant I could
park in the virgin car-park, take in the surroundings, go into the plush new bar and take a little pint or two with my mates
from various parts of the north of England (no southerners for me thank you very much) – all safe in the knowledge I’d
get to see a nice friendly game of football between a team I’d never seen (Sleaford) and one who’d freshly amalgamated
with another to produce a whole new team (Moorlands Railway) and get home totally nag-free. But I must have said this a thousand
times in this column, but “the best laid plans of mice, men and Jamesie often go awry…
But while
I’m here I might as well tell you a little about the ground! Sleaford apparently (and I’ll have to check this
to see if its right or not) have just been promoted into the top division of the United Counties League – the same level
as we have just been promoted out of – and have been “slumming it” up the road at RAF Cranwell; however
that ground was floodlight-less and the top division requirement is exactly to have these in the teams’ portfolio, that
and it was a fair way outside the town. So the next step for a team in a town this size was to build a ground, within easy
reach of the town centre, and with the facilities to suit their playing standard. And that’s what they achieved with
Eslaforde Park – named after the ancient name for Sleaford – with a tidy little set up. Tidy is the word I could
use rather easily here - as I could with new – as the whole ground has a plush, fresh feel to it. The clubhouse is as
tidy as I’ve come across in my time, small maybe, but the comfy seats are an absolute gem. There isn’t much inside
the ground, except a solitary seated stand at the far side, but the potential for development is clear for all to see. But
exactly how they will perform on the pitch is another question…
We all decided to amble outside a few minutes
before the kick-off, taking our positions just in front of the clubhouse, and seconds into the game the bladder needs kicked
in. So there I am sampling the brand-new loos, minutes into the game, I re-emerge and there’s a stoppage – a Sleaford
player is lying in a heap, surrounded by the usual concerned officials and physio personnel. Yep, I’d missed it –
the incident the whole day hinged on, and I was there having a leak. Apparently (according to my sources) there was a robust
challenge by Railway’s Adam Gilbert on Sleaford’s Craig Stones – and he wasn’t getting up…
Naturally
there was a lot of concern for the boy, and unlike last season when I went to Kivo for a game, the paramedics were there inside
five minutes – followed by an ambulance ten minutes after. Still they didn’t move the lad, all the while we were
reminiscing about incidents past, and I told the one about the lad at Brighouse Town and the helicopter that appeared out
of nowhere on the pitch. Just then, over the back of the stand – and heading our way – yep, helicopter! An hour
after the injury, young master Stones was being airlifted Lincoln-bound, hopefully to the comfort of some decent medical attention
and relief from the obvious pain the kid was in. The game all of a sudden was a side-show to the whole day…
They
decided on a thirty minutes each way contest after this, not that it seemed anyone was bothered anymore, these things have
a habit of knocking the stuffing out of you. By the time the game was back under way, it was a bit obvious that I was going
to have to head for the exits at half-time; otherwise I would be in the next bed to the aforementioned Sleaford player. The
first half naturally ended goal-less, it had to, so I made my farewells and headed to the car-park. Luckily for me Neil came
out with me, as the bleedin’ car was blocked in all directions, and it took about thirty three point turns to even move
a yard. Obviously this is something they are going to have to look it if they are expecting to get a decent number through
the gates, or maybe this wouldn’t have happened if I’d stayed till the end, but that was a risk not worth taking…
For
the record when I was just outside Worksop and beyond all possible delays, I got a phone call, updating me on the second half.
It had ended three-all, unbelievably after I’d meandered my way onto Boston Road, the second half turned into a goal-fest.
Daniel Stones put Sleaford in front, only to be pegged back immediately by Luke Jennings within minutes of the restart, making
it one-each. Sleaford went in front again, with the substitute Jamie Shaw scoring, then Dean Dye levelled it up once again
for Railway. Then Lincoln took the lead, Scott Coupland scoring five minutes from the end, before Shaw got his second to level
the scores for the last time. For those who stayed to the end it was a memorable day, eventful to say the least, and I reckon
probably one of the most dramatic starts to any season going – let alone a ground opening – and not one the people
of Sleaford are going to forget in a hurry ......
|
